The Student Room Group

Should I Give An Xmas Present To A Girl Who Rejected Me?

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Original post by SpacePatroFan189
I really want her to see this movie, though. I'm listening to the soundtrack as I write this and it's absolutely brilliant; love how it imitates a human heartbeat :biggrin:


Why? Just move on...

Share it with someone that loves you back instead....
Original post by Jimbo Jones
no they don't though - not when you're an adult who is conscious of the dynamics between men and women


Neither of us are 18 yet so...yeah.
Original post by Blue_Cow
Why? Just move on...

Share it with someone that loves you back instead....


No one likes me in that way; the only option would be a closer friend than her.
Reply 23
Original post by SpacePatroFan189
I'm 16 and she is 17.

A girl who rejected me at the end of secondary school (we are still friends - I speak to her about once a month on Messenger) is a big fan of horror films like I am so I wanted to give her a copy of my favourite horror - The Thing - for Christmas (I like to share the things I enjoy with others) but I'm worried if I do she'll think I'm trying to win her back - it's just a friendly gesture I swear and in no way an attempt to win her over as I'm fine with just being friends, and I'm giving presents to other people of course, but I'm scared she'll get the wrong impression and think I still have dating her on my mind.

Should I give it to her or not (if it makes any difference, I wouldn't be able to give it to her in person as we go to different colleges and she lives 18 miles away from me; I'd have to give it to one of my friends who goes to her college who could then give it to her)?


I wouldn't bother if you are only communicating with her online and once a month. If you like sharing what you enjoy with others then you can do it through social media or other sharing platforms.
Original post by Chief Wiggum
Eh I wouldn't. You've asked her out previously, and you just speak once a month online. I kinda think it would look "too keen".


I'm afraid you might be right :frown:*
Original post by SpacePatroFan189
Neither of us are 18 yet so...yeah.


exactly - as I thought. too naive to know any better at this stage. try being a married man and getting away with female friends then - that'll be funny if you still think men and women (or "boys and girls") can *really* be merely friends by that point
Original post by Jimbo Jones
exactly - as I thought. too naive to know any better at this stage. try being a married man and getting away with female friends then - that'll be funny if you still think men and women (or "boys and girls":wink: can *really* be merely friends by that point


I KNOW men and women can be friends. I don't care what anyone says, I know they can!
Original post by the bear
just send her a card. not too expensive.


Neither is the copy of The Thing which I am buying (about £3).
Original post by SpacePatroFan189
I KNOW men and women can be friends. I don't care what anyone says, I know they can!


you even admitted that you asked her out before. you've already failed. you're only her "friend" now because she *rejected you* and this is the only thing she's letting you be with her! smarten up! what is *she* buying *you* here, for instance?
Original post by Jimbo Jones
you even admitted that you asked her out before. you've already failed. you're only her "friend" now because she *rejected you* and this is the only thing she's letting you be with her! smarten up! what is *she* buying *you* here, for instance?


I don't really see how that's related to the comment from me that you quoted but surely the whole idea of a gift is that it is selfless and the giver expects nothing in return...?
Original post by SpacePatroFan189
I don't really see how that's related to the comment from me that you quoted but surely the whole idea of a gift is that it is selfless and the giver expects nothing in return...?


your inner-child is really showing here, again. take an honest look at this relationship you're injecting utterly false legitimacy into: you've already admitted that you couldn't see her as just a friend and hence this is where you are now as a result(!); you are still attracted to her and are still tacitly trying to buy her respect even though that's stupid; she isn't buying you anything back and you know it, yet you still call it (I'm guessing) a completely balanced friendship.

if you are going to admit to yourself that you would still want to go out with her even now, you've already admitted you don't merely see her as just a friend, because friends don't want to screw each other if the other one would hypothetically ask to (which you clearly would)
Original post by Jimbo Jones
exactly - as I thought. too naive to know any better at this stage. try being a married man and getting away with female friends then - that'll be funny if you still think men and women (or "boys and girls":wink: can *really* be merely friends by that point

My husband has quite a few female friends. It’s not a problem
It’s called trust
Original post by Sammylou40
My husband has quite a few female friends. It’s not a problem
It’s called trust


not very close ones, I am very sure. or they're ugly/uncharismatic. human beings are very simple.
Original post by Jimbo Jones
your inner-child is really showing here, again. take an honest look at this relationship you're injecting utterly false legitimacy into: you've already admitted that you couldn't see her as just a friend and hence this is where you are now as a result(!); you are still attracted to her and are still tacitly trying to buy her respect even though that's stupid; she isn't buying you anything back and you know it, yet you still call it (I'm guessing) a completely balanced friendship.

if you are going to admit to yourself that you would still want to go out with her even now, you've already admitted you don't merely see her as just a friend, because friends don't want to screw each other if the other one would hypothetically ask to (which you clearly would)


When did I say I was still attracted? Nowhere in this thread did I say that. How am I trying to buy her respect? I just want to share this film with her because she loves horror - I was worried that she'd mis-interpret and think I WAS trying to earn her respect when it's just a friendly gesture , and that's the entire point of this thread. And no, it's not a balanced friendship because I'm always the one to start the conversation on Messenger; she's very nice and responsive to the messages but she never ever contacts me first, sadly :frown:
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Jimbo Jones
not very close ones, I am very sure. or they're ugly/uncharismatic. human beings are very simple.


Why not?
They’re neither ugly nor lack personality. They e been friends for years
With maturity tends to come the realisation that not every man wants to bed every woman. Friendship comes in all shapes and sizes and there is no reason at all a man and woman can’t be friends
Original post by SpacePatroFan189
I'm 16 and she is 17.

A girl who rejected me at the end of secondary school (we are still friends - I speak to her about once a month on Messenger) is a big fan of horror films like I am so I wanted to give her a copy of my favourite horror - The Thing - for Christmas (I like to share the things I enjoy with others) but I'm worried if I do she'll think I'm trying to win her back - it's just a friendly gesture I swear and in no way an attempt to win her over as I'm fine with just being friends, and I'm giving presents to other people of course, but I'm scared she'll get the wrong impression and think I still have dating her on my mind.

Should I give it to her or not (if it makes any difference, I wouldn't be able to give it to her in person as we go to different colleges and she lives 18 miles away from me; I'd have to give it to one of my friends who goes to her college who could then give it to her)?


no
Never feel obliged to give anyone a holiday gift.
Original post by Chaz254
no


Could you expand a little, please?
Original post by Jimbo Jones
are they "mutual friends" between him and you? :sexface:



yes, I just qualified that: not ugly or uncharismatic ones. and even then...



how old are you then? you seem fairly naive for a married woman with all due respect


No they are not mutual friends
I have male friends that are not mutual
And naive I most certainly am not!!
Original post by Sammylou40
No they are not mutual friends


then you're pretty naive then

I have male friends that are not mutual


women are different to men in this respect. not *absolutely* different, but relatively different.

And naive I most certainly am not!!


hm

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