I don't think I want to wear the hijab anymore...what to do?

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leidomi
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So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
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username2911200
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(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
Take it off then, you're an adult. You don't have to do what your mother wants at all, it's your life. Do you still want to be wearing it when you're 30, 40, 50, etc. because you're scared of what she'll think? Being an adult means you can make your own decisions, do what you want or you'll regret it.
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Blue_Cow
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(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
You live in a free country

You can do whatever you like (within the law, of course!), so if you don't want to wear the hijab, then don't wear it! Suddenly taking off the hijab doesn't mean you'll start clubbing/drinking (which are perfectly normal activities enjoyed by many!).



(Before someone, somehow manages to interpret this response as Islamaphobic - don't. I have nothing against Islam)
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cheesecakelove
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My friend stopped wearing her hijab after university. Like you, she felt she wasn't wearing it for the right reasons, and she did so after uni, to avoid questions and attention about why she stopped. Her family would prefer her to wear it, but they accept her decision (one of her sisters also stopped wearing it, but her other sister still wears it). They know her character so they know she won't act against her religion.

For your situation, I would talk to your mother, or other family if possible. Let her know you won't suddenly act immoral because you stopped wearing the hijab. Ultimately, it should be your choice, it doesn't have to define your character and your morality. You are no longer a child and you have the freedom to do what you want.
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username1934763
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As a someone who is also a Muslim girl and is speaking from experience with struggling with the hijab for nearly a year (which the people above giving advice have never faced) , I just want you to think why you actually want to take it off. I'm pretty much like you and wear tight clothes, a **** ton of makeup (eyelashes and all) and my behaviour is pretty much contradictory of someone who wears a hijab. However, i think that's really part of the process and it doesn't matter how you display yourself with it (you are still wearing it after all), and I think it's largely an excuse we give ourself to completely take it off, and pretend like that's a better option, when it's not. I often think 'Wow there's practically no point in wearing the hijab' but there IS and it's the struggle of debating whether to take it off that has ajr (good deeds). I don't know if you're religious and you care about the religious aspect at all, but for me the religious aspect is what keeps me from taking it off, every single day. I know it's difficult, and I often have doubts too, especially on days where I see my hair and makeup done, and I wonder why I can't just walk out and show the world what I look like. That's largely part of the struggle we Muslim women face, but Allah (swt) will reward each and every one of us who faced this.
Trust me, you are not alone in this, a lot of Muslim girls nowadays want to take their hijab off and are doing so (2 of my favourite youtubers just did, and I don't respect them any less). I also think it's due to the pressure of wanting to look your best in an age of social media where girls are becoming popular just because of how they look (insta baddies).

If its truly bothering you, speak to a close friend or family member, even your mum (don't follow the advice of the people who are telling you to be rude to your mum, your an adult and you can sit down and have a conversation with your mum) My messages are open too and we can speak about this girl! And remember:

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).
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h333
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(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it. However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire. Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting. I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
Assalaamu Alaykum
Sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about the hijab.

I would strongly advise you to stick with the hijab if Allah wills it sister. Hijab is obligatory for all Muslim women who have reached the age of puberty. If you believe in Islam and accept Allah as your Lord, your Creator, your protector and if you truly believe that you belong to Him and to Him you shall return- then keep your full faith and trust in Him and strive to maintain your hijab, insha’Allah (If Allah wills it). This may be your test so please strive to overcome this trial and don’t give up. You may feel you’re bad for being contradictory because of wearing tight clothing as you mentioned etc but sis it’s better than not trying and giving up all together. The shaytaan is making you feel like this, that you should neglect the hijab properly but don’t let him defeat you. Seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytaan. You’re stronger than this.

Remember Allah is all merciful so as long as you’re trying to maintain your hijab sincerely then He will help make it easier for you and will not let your efforts go to waste. Remember this life is temporary, don’t forget about your hereafter and don’t risk your hereafter for this life. Don’t follow your desires but your Creator. We are all sinful and have our own struggles but as long as we keep returning to Allah and striving then Allah will forgive and reward us for it in the right time. Don’t abandon His commands for this world, it’s what shaytaan wants you to do-to distance yourself from your Lord and His guidance slowly.

Allah is wise and all knowing so trust Him and His guide. He wants the best for us in this life and hereafter- so it’s your choice now to follow it and benefit from it or give up on it, at the end of the day it will be between you and Allah on the day of Judgement.

It may seem very difficult for you now and a massive struggle but remember that you’ll be rewarded immensely for sticking to Allah’s commands in this time. You’ll be choosing to keep close and trust your Creator over following your temporary desires. You have come a long way Masha’Allah don’t lose to shaytaan now. You many find it very difficult to come back to it once you give up on it.

Don’t make a decision in haste, try to learn about the hijab and its purpose, understand its importance in Islam etc first in your time. You may find the motivation to keep it insha’Allah and appreciate it more. If you have any doubts ask those knowledgeable in Islam insha’Allah.

“So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.”(Qur’an 2:152)

“Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.”(Qur'an 2: 286)

May Allah forgive you, ease your affairs and bless His mercy on you Ameen

If you need to talk to a sister then feel free to pm me
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Plantagenet Crown
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I would suggest taking it off, it’s clear you don’t like wearing it and there’s no point doing something you’re uncomfortable with just for the sake of pleasing others. That will probably just make you resentful and bitter in later life.

Talk to your mum honestly and make her aware that taking the hijab off doesn’t suddenly make you a slut who drinks and goes clubbing. If she knows your character and personality then she should be able to understand this

Furthermore, there’s no reason to wear it. If you live in a western country (I assume the UK) then you’ll obviously be aware that most men don’t stare and drool at women who show their hair and so you have nothing to worry about in that regard.
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Anonymous #1
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You shouldn't feel like you need to wear it to appease your family or God. You can still be a Muslim in a western country without wearing the Hijab. You have no fear of stoning. If your mum thinks you'll become immoral and all that, honestly just ignore what she says as she's clearly less concerned about your happiness than having her 100% obedient Hijab wearing daughter. And she clearly doesn't even know who you truly are if she thinks that's what you'll end up doing. You don't need to listen to her anymore.

And plus, Muslims these days do loads of things that aren't instructed in the Quran. Some more extreme folks would say that you should be in a Niqab or Burkha. But you're wearing tight clothing and wearing make up (and don't be ashamed of that). Some Muslims probably do party occassionally too.

I don't know how old your mum is, but times are changing. Muslim women in the west can be themselves in my opinion (as there's no laws to prevent this), don't be burdened by the hijab if it doesn't make you happy.
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username1402543
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(Original post by h333)
Assalaamu Alaykum
Sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about the hijab.

I would strongly advise you to stick with the hijab if Allah wills it sister. Hijab is obligatory for all Muslim women who have reached the age of puberty. If you believe in Islam and accept Allah as your Lord, your Creator, your protector and if you truly believe that you belong to Him and to Him you shall return- then keep your full faith and trust in Him and strive to maintain your hijab, insha’Allah (If Allah wills it). This may be your test so please strive to overcome this trial and don’t give up. You may feel you’re bad for being contradictory because of wearing tight clothing as you mentioned etc but sis it’s better than not trying and giving up all together. The shaytaan is making you feel like this, that you should neglect the hijab properly but don’t let him defeat you. Seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytaan. You’re stronger than this.

Remember Allah is all merciful so as long as you’re trying to maintain your hijab sincerely then He will help make it easier for you and will not let your efforts go to waste. Remember this life is temporary, don’t forget about your hereafter and don’t risk your hereafter for this life. Don’t follow your desires but your Creator. We are all sinful and have our own struggles but as long as we keep returning to Allah and striving then Allah will forgive and reward us for it in the right time. Don’t abandon His commands for this world, it’s what shaytaan wants you to do-to distance yourself from your Lord and His guidance slowly.

Allah is wise and all knowing so trust Him and His guide. He wants the best for us in this life and hereafter- so it’s your choice now to follow it and benefit from it or give up on it, at the end of the day it will be between you and Allah on the day of Judgement.

It may seem very difficult for you now and a massive struggle but remember that you’ll be rewarded immensely for sticking to Allah’s commands in this time. You’ll be choosing to keep close and trust your Creator over following your temporary desires. You have come a long way Masha’Allah don’t lose to shaytaan now. You many find it very difficult to come back to it once you give up on it.

Don’t make a decision in haste, try to learn about the hijab and its purpose, understand its importance in Islam etc first in your time. You may find the motivation to keep it insha’Allah and appreciate it more. If you have any doubts ask those knowledgeable in Islam insha’Allah.

“So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.”(Qur’an 2:152)

“Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.”(Qur'an 2: 286)

May Allah forgive you, ease your affairs and bless His mercy on you Ameen

If you need to talk to a sister then feel free to pm me
This is beautifully compiled as you took the words right out of my mouth sis!

May Allah grant this sister hidayah in such a trialing times. Ameen.


Ameen to your duas as well sis!
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h333
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(Original post by MiszShortee786)
This is beautifully compiled as you took the words right out of my mouth sis!

May Allah grant this sister hidayah in such a trialing times. Ameen.


Ameen to your duas as well sis!
It was in a rush tbh so I probs repeated myself 🙃 but glad it makes some sense and you appreciate it, JazakiAllahu Khairan

Ameen! 🌹
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mariachi
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(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
Hello leidomi

you do know that there is a (minority) opinion in Islam which considers that covering the hair is not obligatory ?

best
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Anonymous #2
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There's no evidence for Allah
She's going to make her own decisions
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Anonymous #2
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If your family is too brainwashed by religion to understand, then just take it off when you're away at school or another place and when they're not there
You should make your own decisions about your life
Don't let people brainwash you
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Chibidragon
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(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
Hello leidomi.

When you were 14, did your parents tell you to do hijab and it was not your choice? Please answer then I can conform what I have to tell you.
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Chibidragon
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(Original post by h333)
Assalaamu Alaykum
Sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way about the hijab.

I would strongly advise you to stick with the hijab if Allah wills it sister. Hijab is obligatory for all Muslim women who have reached the age of puberty. If you believe in Islam and accept Allah as your Lord, your Creator, your protector and if you truly believe that you belong to Him and to Him you shall return- then keep your full faith and trust in Him and strive to maintain your hijab, insha’Allah (If Allah wills it). This may be your test so please strive to overcome this trial and don’t give up. You may feel you’re bad for being contradictory because of wearing tight clothing as you mentioned etc but sis it’s better than not trying and giving up all together. The shaytaan is making you feel like this, that you should neglect the hijab properly but don’t let him defeat you. Seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytaan. You’re stronger than this.

Remember Allah is all merciful so as long as you’re trying to maintain your hijab sincerely then He will help make it easier for you and will not let your efforts go to waste. Remember this life is temporary, don’t forget about your hereafter and don’t risk your hereafter for this life. Don’t follow your desires but your Creator. We are all sinful and have our own struggles but as long as we keep returning to Allah and striving then Allah will forgive and reward us for it in the right time. Don’t abandon His commands for this world, it’s what shaytaan wants you to do-to distance yourself from your Lord and His guidance slowly.

Allah is wise and all knowing so trust Him and His guide. He wants the best for us in this life and hereafter- so it’s your choice now to follow it and benefit from it or give up on it, at the end of the day it will be between you and Allah on the day of Judgement.

It may seem very difficult for you now and a massive struggle but remember that you’ll be rewarded immensely for sticking to Allah’s commands in this time. You’ll be choosing to keep close and trust your Creator over following your temporary desires. You have come a long way Masha’Allah don’t lose to shaytaan now. You many find it very difficult to come back to it once you give up on it.

Don’t make a decision in haste, try to learn about the hijab and its purpose, understand its importance in Islam etc first in your time. You may find the motivation to keep it insha’Allah and appreciate it more. If you have any doubts ask those knowledgeable in Islam insha’Allah.

“So remember Me; I will remember you. And be grateful to Me and do not deny Me.”(Qur’an 2:152)

“Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can bear.”(Qur'an 2: 286)

May Allah forgive you, ease your affairs and bless His mercy on you Ameen

If you need to talk to a sister then feel free to pm me
Hello sister, may I pm you when I need guidance?
And sister, leidomi did hijab to please her parents and not in the commitment of Allah. This the reason most of the girls leave hijab because it is not their choice, and not for Allah.
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Aegon288
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Just take it off
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2Ariadne2
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Wearing a hijab won't make you any more pious, and not wearing a hijib won't drive you further from Allah. You (and Allah) know yourself, your faith, intentions and deeds and so what you wear makes no difference to these things at all.
If it makes you feel uncomfortable both physically and psychologically, then don't wear it. What we wear doesn't define us!
Take it off, be free, and praise your god! You'll only wish you'd done it sooner. ^-^
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h333
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(Original post by Chibidragon)
Hello sister, may I pm you when I need guidance?
And sister, leidomi did hijab to please her parents and not in the commitment of Allah. This the reason most of the girls leave hijab because it is not their choice, and not for Allah.
Sure you can sister, insha’Allah
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username4299474
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#19
(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
I think it would a great decision if you keep your Hijab but this time, in your heart, you’ll do this for Allah. Not for your family. You control your own life, you make your decisions, definitely wise decisions that’ll lead you to the right path. I’m sure if you still wear the Hijab, but this time for the sake of Allah and because you really want to wear it, you’ll feel much better, you’ll see yourself growing and improving. You won’t feel like a walking contradiction. I’ve been wearing the Hijab ever since I was in 6th grade. I wore it because I wanted to, my parents never forced me and kept telling me that it was too soon for me. I didn’t listen and knew what I wanted to do was right. That doesn’t mean my parents weren’t supportive with the Hijab, it’s just they thought that maybe it was too soon that time for me. Good luck!
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mariachi
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#20
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#20
(Original post by leidomi)
So I've been wearing the hijab since I was 14 and now I'm 20, so a pretty significant chunk of my life. I've been struggling with the hijab for a few years now and I've been really thinking hard about why I started wearing the hijab in the first place...and to be honest it wasn't for the right reasons. I had recently come of age and started wearing hijab because that was what was 'expected' of me, I didn't do it out of commitment to Allah like you're supposed to, more just to please family and such. I also thought about the fact that I don't even wear it properly to begin with, I wear tight jeans/leggings as well as makeup on a regular basis and have taken it off on a few occasions (like parties) so I honestly feel like a walking contradiction at this point. I also feel like I'm making girls that wear it properly and are committed to it look bad by being wishy-washy. I want to just not wear it for a while so I stop feeling so much negativity towards it, and work on other aspects of my faith (like prayer and such) and come back to it wearing it 100% properly with renewed faith in it.

However...this won't go over well with my family (especially with my mom). She knew a few of her friends' daughters who started losing their faith (took off their hijab, started clubbing and drinking etc) after starting university and she's worried that I'll go down the same path. So taking off the hijab will definitely let her down. There have also been times where I really wanted to stop wearing it and have told her about it, for example for my high school prom a few years back (Oh I'm Canadian by the way lol) and she shut me down quick by saying that its haram and will lead to hellfire.

Another thing that I'm worried about is the awkward situation that I'll be in taking off my hijab in my third year (because if I do end up doing it it'll be at the start of next year). Since everyone already knew me without one I feel like I'll be bombarded with questions of why I took it off which would be exhausting.

I really regret even starting to wear the hijab in the first place and I feel a little bit too old to be doubting hijab like this. But I'm really tired of this nagging feeling of not really wanting to wear the hijab and it's been affecting my confidence and self-esteem big time. Should I take it off and if so how would I break the news to my mom?
why don' t you read up on the issue of whether the headscarf is really obligatory in Islam ?
you can start e.g. here https://www.huffingtonpost.ca/junaid...578KzRn24hyd8g

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