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Why should he care?
Hello everyone,
Yet another man related rant. Feels as though that's all I do these days. Needed to tell someone...just have to hope he doesn't read this. (though I really couldn't care less.)
Anyway so just to fill in some background I briefly saw a guy towards the end of last year. Didn't work end of...blah. Was finding it hard getting over it but managed to do it (kinda) over Christmas. Now I'm starting to feel a mixture of annoyance and confusion.
He has a new girlfriend...good for him. I'm really happy for the both of them. For some reason, he wanted to make it very clear and known to me that he's seeing someone and they're very happy together. Why? Why does he think I care? Not just that...he kept trying to bring up the subject of her and trying to see my reaction. His excuse is that he doesnt want me to feel awkward that he's seeing someone. Erm, why?
Do you guys care if your ex would feel awkward that you're seeing someone else? It's almost like he wants me to feel awkward so that he can tell himself that I'm still into him. I just don't get it. That's really confused me now because for a while he hardly spoke to me and now he's being extra nice to me and is 'concerned' about how I feel.
UGH...did not need this
Opinions welcome and apologies for the length of the post!
Yet another man related rant. Feels as though that's all I do these days. Needed to tell someone...just have to hope he doesn't read this. (though I really couldn't care less.)
Anyway so just to fill in some background I briefly saw a guy towards the end of last year. Didn't work end of...blah. Was finding it hard getting over it but managed to do it (kinda) over Christmas. Now I'm starting to feel a mixture of annoyance and confusion.
He has a new girlfriend...good for him. I'm really happy for the both of them. For some reason, he wanted to make it very clear and known to me that he's seeing someone and they're very happy together. Why? Why does he think I care? Not just that...he kept trying to bring up the subject of her and trying to see my reaction. His excuse is that he doesnt want me to feel awkward that he's seeing someone. Erm, why?
Do you guys care if your ex would feel awkward that you're seeing someone else? It's almost like he wants me to feel awkward so that he can tell himself that I'm still into him. I just don't get it. That's really confused me now because for a while he hardly spoke to me and now he's being extra nice to me and is 'concerned' about how I feel.
UGH...did not need this
Opinions welcome and apologies for the length of the post!
Ice_Queen
Meh, I had a friend who had a similar problem. You just gotta tell him the truth "I'm not that bothered that you have a girlfriend to be honest, you're free to do what you want".
Before he eggs/flours your house. Yes, that happened.
Before he eggs/flours your house. Yes, that happened.
LOL!! i'm 21 and he's 24 I should hope that he'd not do that. Yeh I did say something to the effect of "It's your life, I don't see how this affects me, be happy, why should you care what I think?" but somehow I don't think this was the reaction he wanted since I think he wanted me to be upset about it. Then he became very interested in my love life (or lack of it)...
Any guys able to shed any light on this? I've already given up trying to work out what on earth he's thinking.
Well has he been in long term relationships before? If you guys just had a brief fling then this may be quite weird. But if it had been longer then you probably WOULD have felt weird seeing him with someone else. Maybe if he's had a LT girlfriend prior to you then he remembers how weird he felt when she started seeing someone new (or similar scenario) and doesn't want you to feel the same way?
Or he's just being childish
Or he's just being childish
Bekaboo
Well has he been in long term relationships before? If you guys just had a brief fling then this may be quite weird. But if it had been longer then you probably WOULD have felt weird seeing him with someone else. Maybe if he's had a LT girlfriend prior to you then he remembers how weird he felt when she started seeing someone new (or similar scenario) and doesn't want you to feel the same way?
Or he's just being childish
Or he's just being childish
Well it was very brief, only lasting a few weeks and I think we felt very strongly for each other in a short space of time. It was so strange like he'd be able to finish off my sentences and turn up to classes wearing the exact same colours of clothing and just really weird coincidences and felt so comfortable around each other. Even now these coincidences still happen. He even took me to meet his parents.
Then all of a sudden he backed off and seemed to move on very quickly afterwards whereas for me it was a bit more difficult. So I just can't understand why he would care or pretend to care...Hmph
And he has been in long term relationships before but I suspect he's being childish and trying to rub my face in it and is disappointed thatI'm not giving him the attention I used to...
Seriously, I just don't know how to handle this without being rude because he had ample opportunities to be horrible to me and wasn't.
Thanks for your replies thus far TSR!
Thanks for your replies thus far TSR!
Well... given that you've created this thread does make me think that you do care. The bloke might still be into you, and is trying to work out your reaction through letting you know of his new girlfriend. Guys are rubbish at mind games, mind. Or, he really is being considerate and trying to ensure that you don't feel like crap which, given your "I don't care" attitude (and I really do mean the quotation marks), isn't working because it's just making you confused.
It depends on his character and personality, which only you know about. Would be be the type to purposefully emotionally torture you by bringing up his girlfriend, or the type who still worries about you and wants to know how you feel about him having a new flame?
Or, he really is being considerate and trying to ensure that you don't feel like crap which, given your "I don't care" attitude (and I really do mean the quotation marks), isn't working because it's just making you confused. It depends on his character and personality, which only you know about. Would be be the type to purposefully emotionally torture you by bringing up his girlfriend, or the type who still worries about you and wants to know how you feel about him having a new flame?
from what i can tell it sounds like he is still into you and is trying to make you jealous. it's his sort of way of flirting sadistically lol. i reckon if you were to say something like 'how about me you and your girlfriend go out somewhere'. that would unnerve him i think...
Crimson Black
Well... given that you've created this thread does make me think that you do care. The bloke might still be into you, and is trying to work out your reaction through letting you know of his new girlfriend. Guys are rubbish at mind games, mind. Or, he really is being considerate and trying to ensure that you don't feel like crap which, given your "I don't care" attitude (and I really do mean the quotation marks), isn't working because it's just making you confused.
It depends on his character and personality, which only you know about. Would be be the type to purposefully emotionally torture you by bringing up his girlfriend, or the type who still worries about you and wants to know how you feel about him having a new flame?
Or, he really is being considerate and trying to ensure that you don't feel like crap which, given your "I don't care" attitude (and I really do mean the quotation marks), isn't working because it's just making you confused. It depends on his character and personality, which only you know about. Would be be the type to purposefully emotionally torture you by bringing up his girlfriend, or the type who still worries about you and wants to know how you feel about him having a new flame?
Possibly...i guess i just don't understand this way of thinking...lol.
arisk01
from what i can tell it sounds like he is still into you and is trying to make you jealous. it's his sort of way of flirting sadistically lol. i reckon if you were to say something like 'how about me you and your girlfriend go out somewhere'. that would unnerve him i think...
I think that highly unlikely somehow but that's a funny way to show it if so. Hmm...
boys are funny like that lol, they bottle everything up and show it in weird often stupid ways. talking from experience here lol
arisk01
boys are funny like that lol, they bottle everything up and show it in weird often stupid ways. talking from experience here lol
Haha thanks arisk. I think it might be that I'm not used to people being so kind to me so it's a bit of a new experience!
Hmm...
Okay so since I posted this he's been asking me about my facebook status as it said something along the lines of me being confused...
Seriously though...why? I know it's petty and it's nice he's concerned but I'm just not used to someone being so concerned about my well being and am not sure how to handle it
Thanks anyhoo TSR!
Seriously though...why? I know it's petty and it's nice he's concerned but I'm just not used to someone being so concerned about my well being and am not sure how to handle it
Thanks anyhoo TSR!
It sounds to me like he regretted it not working out and is constantly telling you all these things in an attempt to clear his own mind and convince himself that he's moved on.
TheLandOfNorwegia
It sounds to me like he regretted it not working out and is constantly telling you all these things in an attempt to clear his own mind and convince himself that he's moved on.
Hey thanks for your reply! Well he ended it in the first place so it could have worked out if he wanted it to work...Hmmm
I dunno...curiouser and curiouser
Oh dear...we're barely even acknowledging each others' presence now
*sighs*
Oh well, guess it will help me totally get over this...
*sighs*
Oh well, guess it will help me totally get over this...
Aw, hon, he sounds as though he's a bit confused himself. To be honest, you probably don't need this kind of mind fookin going on. I imagine that it's hard because of the connection that you felt you had, but if he really cared about you he wouldn't be doing this to you.
Take care hon x
Take care hon x
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