Tinder Dissappointment

Hey

I came out of a long term relationship earlier this year and I have been using Tinder a bit to date but didn't expect too much from it. I have been on a few dates and then started talking to a really great guy. We got on really well and we were seeing each other all the time for about a month. He was the one making the plans, hinting that he wanted something more, saying that I should meet parents etc. I was admitted to hospital for a week and he continued to text me each day and on Saturday we made plans to spend Sunday together and everything seemed fine.

On Sunday morning he suddently cancelled all plans and said that he didn't actually want a relationship. I think I was more shocked because he was the one pushing whereas I am generally laid back. I do text a lot but that is because I was in a long distance relationship previously- do you think that put him off? I am not stupid and I know that a month is nothing but I am unsure why this hurts more than the other failed Tinder dates? I don't really understand what would have changed overnight, especially as he text me goodnight on Saturday etc.

Any advice why guys can be this *****y?

Thanks

:smile:

Reply 1

Huw M Thomas

Original post by Anonymous

Maybe he's one of many serial heart breakers. Been hurt, will hurt and make a career out of it.

Reply 2

UWS

He probably matched with someone better in the time you were in the hospital, that's the thing with online dating. It's *****y but it happens I'm afraid.

Reply 3

Zelex

This scenario is very similar that I was in (I'm a guy and this wasn't through tinder). Only difference was I clearly explained about 3 weeks plus into conversation, that I wasn't actively seeking a relationship but seeking to know her better at a general friendship level but had no problems eventually going on a date (she asked whether I had considered meeting her face-to-face). I wanted her to know this as I felt it would be better for our communication.

I think he may have got a little hesitant, from what you have said his response implies that he equated your upcoming date as the beginning of a proper relationship, rather than you both just getting to know each other. That is how I would have read the situation......however the fact he initiated everything to the point of potentially

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 4

a9493r

Am I still the only one who doesn't do Tinder dating?

No judgement to you and best of luck :smile:

but I cant seem to understand the point of Tinder relationships and am genuinely in awe of the people who manage to find true love through there- is it just me :laugh:

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Original post by Zelex

It is just strange as we had been on a few dates and he had stayed over a few times. It isnt like the date planned was any different...

Reply 6

xylas

Original post by Anonymous

I think I was more shocked because he was the one pushing whereas I am generally laid back. I do text a lot but that is because I was in a long distance relationship previously- do you think that put him off? I am not stupid and I know that a month is nothing but I am unsure why this hurts more than the other failed Tinder dates? I don't really understand what would have changed overnight, especially as he text me goodnight on Saturday etc.

Any advice why guys can be this *****y?

If you don't want to come across these "*****y" guys according to you then why don't you get off tinder. Your actions give the impression that you are actively searching for these same "*****y" guys but you are hoping for a different outcome.

But after a few failed dates now your ego finally realises that it won't happen like this and that's why it's starting to hurt more.

Reply 7

MonsoonFlower

Original post by Anonymous

Well you have described the extreme disadvantage of why most people don't go on Tinder.

Not to sound too critical about it, but the truth is he had too many choices and unfortunately he didn't 'pick' you.
In your situation, he is most likely ghosting you - a term in the virtual dating world which basically means he's going to ignore you now for no apparent nor explained reason.
Yes that sucks I know but I'm afraid that's [dating] life.

Just need to move on now and forget about him.