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my wife says I will "lose her" if go to hospital Watch

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    I have depression and a couple other things and last night was not good. My wife shouted at me for a couple of hours telling me how if I keep this up I will end up in hospital and will "ruin everything". She said I'll lose my job, lose her, and end up having to move back in with my mum.

    I thought marriage was meant to be about supportive each other, not threatening to leave. I don't know what to do. My doctors have told me I need to consider hospital, in the past she's told me I should be in hospital, but now she comes out with this. Wtf am I meant to do? I love her and don't want to lose her but I can't live like this. I think she just expects that if she shouts at me enough everything will get better. I don't know if her threats are serious or if she's trying to scare me.

    We argue almost every day now, we haven't had sex in ages, and I'm scared of my marriage falling apart. We've been married for 5 years.

    I don't know how to fix this. :cry2:
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    This sounds incredibly abusive and controlling, does she act like this over any other issues?
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    She doesn't sound very supportive, however that may be her way of dealing with the situation, she may be angry she can't do anything to help you and maybe doesn't understand what you must be going through.

    If you haven't already, sit down and fully tell her eveerything you're feeling, and that you need her to be supportive because it obviously doesn't make you eel any better when she gets angry. If she loves you, she'll have to be more supportive and if you love someone you want to be supportive towards them anyway. Imo i feel like she's probably just as worried as you are.

    Hope this helps in some way
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    That’s so sad to hear. She should be supporting you not threatening you. You have to communicate with her properly and let her know how you feel, hopefully she will understand if she cares for you and her marriage. Don’t let her stop you from looking after your health and going to the doctors if you feel you need to.
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    Dump and divorce her pronto.
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    I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your wife should be supporting you and helping you to beat your depression. Try sitting her down and talking to her face to face tell her that you need her support to get better. I hope things work out for you.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Dump and divorce her pronto.
    It’s not the way to go about it tbh
    It’s better to talk about it first to see if the problems can be sorted out before jumping to any conclusions, especially divorce.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Dump and divorce her pronto.
    As if it's that easy.
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    (Original post by Unknown-99)
    I'm sorry this is happening to you. Your wife should be supporting you and helping you to beat your depression. Try sitting her down and talking to her face to face tell her that you need her support to get better. I hope things work out for you.

    I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she never wants to, she always has something better to do. When I'm feeling really crap just having a conversation with someone helps, although its hard to think so I prefer if they lead the conversation but she refused telling me she doesn't want to talk and if I want to I can talk to her and she'll answer (ie read twitter on her computer and grunt at me), but when I feel that bad thinking is hard, I don't see why she doesn't help me then screams at me other times.
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    (Original post by h333)
    It’s not the way to go about it tbh
    It’s better to talk about it first to see if the problems can be sorted out before jumping to any conclusions, especially divorce.
    (Original post by catsmeow_at_me)
    As if it's that easy.
    I'm being facetious. I'm parodying the numerous people on here who generally advise others to dump/get rid of their partners at the most minor argument or disagreement.
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    (Original post by catsmeow_at_me)
    She doesn't sound very supportive, however that may be her way of dealing with the situation, she may be angry she can't do anything to help you and maybe doesn't understand what you must be going through.

    If you haven't already, sit down and fully tell her eveerything you're feeling, and that you need her to be supportive because it obviously doesn't make you eel any better when she gets angry. If she loves you, she'll have to be more supportive and if you love someone you want to be supportive towards them anyway. Imo i feel like she's probably just as worried as you are.

    Hope this helps in some way
    She's "tried" to be supportive for the past 10 years and I think she's just fed up of it. I told her before I didn't want to marry her because of my depression and she told me she'll always be there for me but now it's like she's just not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried sitting her down and talking to her but she never wants to, she always has something better to do. When I'm feeling really crap just having a conversation with someone helps, although its hard to think so I prefer if they lead the conversation but she refused telling me she doesn't want to talk and if I want to I can talk to her and she'll answer (ie read twitter on her computer and grunt at me), but when I feel that bad thinking is hard, I don't see why she doesn't help me then screams at me other times.
    She is being very unreasonable and borderline abusive. Have you considred seeing a therapist? If talking to people makes you feel better then seeing a therapist could benefit you a lot someone who will listen to you and lead the conversation. I can't really give you much advice on your relationship with your wife I'm afraid but from your description it sounds like you'd be better off away from her even if it's only temporary as your health improves.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    She's "tried" to be supportive for the past 10 years and I think she's just fed up of it. I told her before I didn't want to marry her because of my depression and she told me she'll always be there for me but now it's like she's just not.
    Surely she should be encouraging you to get support.. Is there anyone else you can talk too?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have depression and a couple other things and last night was not good. My wife shouted at me for a couple of hours telling me how if I keep this up I will end up in hospital and will "ruin everything". She said I'll lose my job, lose her, and end up having to move back in with my mum.

    I thought marriage was meant to be about supportive each other, not threatening to leave. I don't know what to do. My doctors have told me I need to consider hospital, in the past she's told me I should be in hospital, but now she comes out with this. Wtf am I meant to do? I love her and don't want to lose her but I can't live like this. I think she just expects that if she shouts at me enough everything will get better. I don't know if her threats are serious or if she's trying to scare me.

    We argue almost every day now, we haven't had sex in ages, and I'm scared of my marriage falling apart. We've been married for 5 years.

    I don't know how to fix this. :cry2:
    I never like hearing about people in situations like this, but if you stay with her your choices are:
    a) Man up and get rid of your depression using magic manly wizard powers
    b) Go seek professional medical help and lose your wife
    Obviously you need to seek professional medical help and if that means losing your wife, then that's something that has to be done. If she won't support you through the hardest times, then she's not worth your time at all. You are completely right: a relationship is about fighting through thick and thin, because you love each other. It is about bailing at the first sight of a problem. She might be married to you for your money if she doesn't want you to go to hospital due to potentially losing your job, but I can't say for certain since I don't know the whole story. If I'm right then that's a clear reason to end it with her.
    My advice would be to go to hospital and ditch your wife. Even though you love her, there are plenty of other women out there, heck, you don't even need a woman, clearly without her it's possible that you'd be in a better situation now. Plus, holding on to a woman like that at the price of your mental wellbeing is not a price that any man should pay.
    I hope you get well soon and can enjoy life to the fullest.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have depression and a couple other things and last night was not good. My wife shouted at me for a couple of hours telling me how if I keep this up I will end up in hospital and will "ruin everything". She said I'll lose my job, lose her, and end up having to move back in with my mum.

    I thought marriage was meant to be about supportive each other, not threatening to leave. I don't know what to do. My doctors have told me I need to consider hospital, in the past she's told me I should be in hospital, but now she comes out with this. Wtf am I meant to do? I love her and don't want to lose her but I can't live like this. I think she just expects that if she shouts at me enough everything will get better. I don't know if her threats are serious or if she's trying to scare me.

    We argue almost every day now, we haven't had sex in ages, and I'm scared of my marriage falling apart. We've been married for 5 years.

    I don't know how to fix this. :cry2:
    MH problems can make people a bit stupid on both sides. It mixes people up and confuses them so they end up acting stupid and doing things that aren't all that helpful.
    Sounds like that might be happening with your wife. She cares about you and is stressed and emotional because you are unwell. She doesn't know what to do and it ending up lashing out or saying things she doesn't necessarily mean.

    That's obviously going to end up being really stressful for you and your relationship. You guys really need to work on something because this really isn't healthy to keep going with. That might be couples counselling, taking a break to calm down and think about things or even breaking up.

    You need to make sure you put yourself and your health first. And if you think you need to go into hospital then go.

    I'm sorry you're in such a tough situation. I hope things improve soon.
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    (Original post by Unknown-99)
    She is being very unreasonable and borderline abusive. Have you considred seeing a therapist? If talking to people makes you feel better then seeing a therapist could benefit you a lot someone who will listen to you and lead the conversation. I can't really give you much advice on your relationship with your wife I'm afraid but from your description it sounds like you'd be better off away from her even if it's only temporary as your health improves.
    Yeah, I currently see a psychologist and talking to him helps. But like late at night or outside of my scheduled appointments I can't talk to him. I just don't understand why she won't talk to me and her computer is so much more important on those times when I'm really, really struggling.
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    (Original post by catsmeow_at_me)
    Surely she should be encouraging you to get support.. Is there anyone else you can talk too?
    I see a psychiatrist and psychologist. My psychologist wanted to call 999 at our last appointment to arrange for me to go to hospital but I begged him not to. And last night I was considering it but then she was telling me how I'd lose everything, when just last week she was threatening to have me sectioned if I didn't take my medication. I don't understand.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I see a psychiatrist and psychologist. My psychologist wanted to call 999 at our last appointment to arrange for me to go to hospital but I begged him not to. And last night I was considering it but then she was telling me how I'd lose everything, when just last week she was threatening to have me sectioned if I didn't take my medication. I don't understand.
    I know it's easy for me (and everyone) to say. But please do what's you feel is best for you. If you think going to hospital will help, go. Don't worry about your wife for now. Concentrate on yourself and if your wife really cares, she'll be there for you. From what you've said, you need someone that will help you and to be around support, and that's not what she's giving you. Do what's best for you even if you feel like it'll break your marriage. You know it's affecting your mental health, and it'll only get worse. Please listen to yourself and do what you want/need to do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I currently see a psychologist and talking to him helps. But like late at night or outside of my scheduled appointments I can't talk to him. I just don't understand why she won't talk to me and her computer is so much more important on those times when I'm really, really struggling.
    Gosh, this sounds horrible. She should be supporting you through this, she knew you was like this before you married. May I ask if you are on any medication for the Depression? Also, maybe look for a support group near where you live. It can be nice to talk to people who are experiencing the same thing as you and won't judge you for it. If she really loved you she would be there for you. It sounds like she's finally given up which is very sad but she should not be taking her frustration out on you.

    If you have tried telling her how you feel and she will not listen, you must ask yourself is this marriage really the best for the both of you? It sounds rather toxic, and being around that negative energy will not help your situation. I personally, would go into the hospital and help myself.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    This sounds incredibly abusive and controlling, does she act like this over any other issues?
    Considering the lack of background the OP gave that seems a somewhat dubious conclusion to draw...
 
 
 
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