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Should i break up before exams?

I have been with my boyfriend for a month and a half now. We both study the same thing and both have our exams coming up in a 4 weeks. I know he likes me a lot but i dont feel the same way about him. I tried going out with him because we have been friends for a year prior to the relationship and i thought i would give it a try. But now after 1.5 months i know i am just incapable of feeling the same way. I dont think he loves me but i know he does like me a lot and for him its the beginning of a long term relationship. Considering it hasn't been long and we're friends after all i think breaking up with him now would be the best thing, otherwise i would have to wait 2 months (1 month before exams and 4 weeks of exams). Am i a bad person for wanting to break up before or should i wait and pretend for 4 months that everything is ok?

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Reply 1
Just break up if you do plan on doing it. Waiting longer will hurt him more.
Original post by Lena20
I have been with my boyfriend for a month and a half now. We both study the same thing and both have our exams coming up in a 4 weeks. I know he likes me a lot but i dont feel the same way about him. I tried going out with him because we have been friends for a year prior to the relationship and i thought i would give it a try. But now after 1.5 months i know i am just incapable of feeling the same way. I dont think he loves me but i know he does like me a lot and for him its the beginning of a long term relationship. Considering it hasn't been long and we're friends after all i think breaking up with him now would be the best thing, otherwise i would have to wait 2 months (1 month before exams and 4 weeks of exams). Am i a bad person for wanting to break up before or should i wait and pretend for 4 months that everything is ok?


Don't break up before exams that would be savage.
Reply 3
Original post by Lena20
I have been with my boyfriend for a month and a half now. We both study the same thing and both have our exams coming up in a 4 weeks. I know he likes me a lot but i dont feel the same way about him. I tried going out with him because we have been friends for a year prior to the relationship and i thought i would give it a try. But now after 1.5 months i know i am just incapable of feeling the same way. I dont think he loves me but i know he does like me a lot and for him its the beginning of a long term relationship. Considering it hasn't been long and we're friends after all i think breaking up with him now would be the best thing, otherwise i would have to wait 2 months (1 month before exams and 4 weeks of exams). Am i a bad person for wanting to break up before or should i wait and pretend for 4 months that everything is ok?


You probably should do it after exams. You should break up if you're not feeling it and it will be even more heartbreaking if you lead him on for way longer.
Reply 4
break up = guaranteed fail in exams, my guy will probably drop out 😂😂
Reply 5
You need to look after yourself remember - you should break up with him. Waiting is only gonna make it worse, for both of you.
Reply 6
The relationship has only just started, he should be fine for exams. If not then that isn't down to you alone, he may actually work harder to get over it.
Reply 7
Original post by Wired_1800
Don't break up before exams that would be savage.


Wouldn't it be worse to pretend for 2 months? I mean it's not like i have feelings for him he will know something is up i just fear that the tension that will obviously be there on my part will confuse him even more and distract him during the 4 weeks of exams. Isn't it better to do it 4 weeks before so that at least he will be sure where we stand? The relationship has only just begun after all...
Original post by Lena20
Wouldn't it be worse to pretend for 2 months? I mean it's not like i have feelings for him he will know something is up i just fear that the tension that will obviously be there on my part will confuse him even more and distract him during the 4 weeks of exams. Isn't it better to do it 4 weeks before so that at least he will be sure where we stand? The relationship has only just begun after all...


Some people have pretended for years. 4 weeks would not kill you.

Imagine if you were in his shoes and your bf broke up with you 4 weeks before your exams, I doubt u will appreciate the distraction.

You said that you are already friends, so there is no harm in remaining friends and just letting it be until after his exams. Then u end it.

It is up to you, but remember that karma can be a bit.ch
Whether you hurt him and emotionally scar him for life now or do so later should not be the question. The question is should you have half heartedly embarked on a relationship without commitment with so much selfishness and walk away with no regard for the damage you will have caused.

If you think for a single moment you are going to get away with this sort of behaviour you are sadly mistaken.
Reply 10
Original post by Wired_1800
Some people have pretended for years. 4 weeks would not kill you.

Imagine if you were in his shoes and your bf broke up with you 4 weeks before your exams, I doubt u will appreciate the distraction.

You said that you are already friends, so there is no harm in remaining friends and just letting it be until after his exams. Then u end it.

It is up to you, but remember that karma can be a bit.ch


Only it's not 4 weeks. It's 4 weeks till our exams, after that we have 4 weeks of exams, that's 8 weeks. And i have the same exams that he has, i also have to concentrate on that but i haven't been able to because all i can think about is how much i want to end it. I am taking into concideration that it could distract him but is it fair to me to be distracted and not be able to fully preform on my exams because i am too stressed about this situation? Every time i would go to the exam room i would have to see him and kiss him to say hello and pretend that everything is normal when deep inside i dont want any of it? Plus we have 7 exams that is a lot of pretending to me i just dont see how it's fair to him :frown:
Original post by Lena20
Only it's not 4 weeks. It's 4 weeks till our exams, after that we have 4 weeks of exams, that's 8 weeks. And i have the same exams that he has, i also have to concentrate on that but i haven't been able to because all i can think about is how much i want to end it. I am taking into concideration that it could distract him but is it fair to me to be distracted and not be able to fully preform on my exams because i am too stressed about this situation? Every time i would go to the exam room i would have to see him and kiss him to say hello and pretend that everything is normal when deep inside i dont want any of it? Plus we have 7 exams that is a lot of pretending to me i just dont see how it's fair to him :frown:


If you are not happy end it, no point dragging it on longer if you are not into him in that way, just be honest and tell him otherwise it will look like you are just stringing him along.
Break up with him after the Exams
Reply 13
Original post by Huw M Thomas
Whether you hurt him and emotionally scar him for life now or do so later should not be the question. The question is should you have half heartedly embarked on a relationship without commitment with so much selfishness and walk away with no regard for the damage you will have caused.

If you think for a single moment you are going to get away with this sort of behaviour you are sadly mistaken.


I dont see how i have been selfish here. I have never promised him anything i have been honest from the start. Breakups are part of life sometimes people are not ment to be. He has asked me to be his girlfriend out of the blue and i said yes because i liked him and thought it could work but it hasn't. Since i have spent more time with him over the last month i have discovered that he does not share the same values as i do and that apart for being good friends we have nothing in common. I dont see how I'm the bad person here apart maybe for wanting to break up before our exams. That said i have always been honest with him and it doesn't feel right for me to give him hope that this relationship could grow because it cant
Original post by Lena20
I dont see how i have been selfish here. I have never promised him anything i have been honest from the start. Breakups are part of life sometimes people are not ment to be. He has asked me to be his girlfriend out of the blue and i said yes because i liked him and thought it could work but it hasn't. Since i have spent more time with him over the last month i have discovered that he does not share the same values as i do and that apart for being good friends we have nothing in common. I dont see how I'm the bad person here apart maybe for wanting to break up before our exams. That said i have always been honest with him and it doesn't feel right for me to give him hope that this relationship could grow because it cant


Life and in particular relationships in life are not meant to be a self satisfying series of physical and emotional experiments that we conduct willy nilly.
Reply 15
Thanks for sharing your side on that problem. I fully understand how it could impact him. It may not seem like it from my post but i am a very emotional person myself and i know this will affect me as well. But the thought of pretending for 2 months that everything is ok is making me sick it makes me feel like a liar and an even wors person. As to the fact that "he would be shocked to hear it" i dont think he would since i have told him 2 weeks ago that i cant get past the fact that he is my friend and that i dont think i have feelings for him like that but i still want to think about it because i dont want to rush to a decision i will regret later. But during these 2 weeks i had time to think and see some of his behaviours that i wouldnt like in a boyfriend. All of that added up led me to a conclusion that i have to break up with him to be true to my values and to him. I know the timing is not perfect because of the exams but on the other hand it kind of is because of the conversation we had. At least I think it is, what do you think?
Reply 16
Original post by Huw M Thomas
Life and in particular relationships in life are not meant to be a self satisfying series of physical and emotional experiments that we conduct willy nilly.


There were no physical experiments and getting to know someone is no emotional experiment ether. I think you should think twice before judging someone on the internet since you don't know everything about me or him. Besides that wasn't even part of my question. We are two people who like each other and wanted to see if we're compatible by spending time together. The problem is i dont want to spend as much time with him anymore whilst the breakup. It is not a sin to breakup with someone who obviously doesn't share the same values and with whom you have little in common with. And who said anything about self satisfying? I want to get out of this relationship because he is the only one who is satisfied by it. I am not.
Original post by Wired_1800
Don't break up before exams that would be savage.

I agree, wait until after the exams
Reply 18
Thank you for the reply. I will think about everything that you said. I hope he can understand that i am doing it for both of us.
Original post by Lena20
Only it's not 4 weeks. It's 4 weeks till our exams, after that we have 4 weeks of exams, that's 8 weeks. And i have the same exams that he has, i also have to concentrate on that but i haven't been able to because all i can think about is how much i want to end it. I am taking into concideration that it could distract him but is it fair to me to be distracted and not be able to fully preform on my exams because i am too stressed about this situation? Every time i would go to the exam room i would have to see him and kiss him to say hello and pretend that everything is normal when deep inside i dont want any of it? Plus we have 7 exams that is a lot of pretending to me i just dont see how it's fair to him :frown:


Do what you want. He is your friend and you can do whatever you like.

I just gave you my reasons why i dont think you should break it off.

Being in a relationship is not a life or death situation. You are 17, so I recognise that u will grow and learn more.

Just do to him, what you would want to be done to you. It is the cycle of life

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