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Will the University accept these Severe Adverse Circumstances? watch

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    I live with just my mum, whose interest only mortgage expires next October. She is unwell and isn't being very proactive with things, and it is likely that my dad will try to take as much money from the house as possible.

    Naturally this situation is awful - being uncertain about my housing future - it is causing me so many difficulties with depression etc.

    Firstly, do you think I should tell the Uni about this? I feel that this is so hard, as I am just so ashamed about it.

    Is there anything they can do to help. At the very least, would them being aware make it likely for them to take into account the inevitable effects of this situation on my academic performance? I'm in second year now so things are just beginning to count.

    Is there any other help I can get with this?

    This situation is awful and is causing me so much worry, however, I have worked so hard to get to Uni that I am trying to minimise the effects of it on my academic work.

    If I had to drop out because of this then I think doing so would break me.
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    Anyone??
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    Tell both student finance and uni.
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    (Original post by BrianMcEgg)
    Tell both student finance and uni.
    Why would SFE need to know? At the moment I have only told the person who assessed my Asperers.

    I have spoke to my GP about the enhance s depression it has caused me this term but have not mentioned the reasons for it to him.

    I have another appointment with him tomorrow as I have just fallen so far behind with essays that I risk getting into trouble without medical evidence/asking for mitigation because of these circumstances.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why would SFE need to know? At the moment I have only told the person who assessed my Asperers.

    I have spoke to my GP about the enhance s depression it has caused me this term but have not mentioned the reasons for it to him.

    I have another appointment with him tomorrow as I have just fallen so far behind with essays that I risk getting into trouble without medical evidence/asking for mitigation because of these circumstances.
    Because your situation at home is about to change, they might increase your loan. Asking a load of randomers about this isn’t going to cut it, you need to seek professional advice from the uni
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    (Original post by BrianMcEgg)
    Because your situation at home is about to change, they might increase your loan. Asking a load of randomers about this isn’t going to cut it, you need to seek professional advice from the uni
    I just feel so embarrassed to tell them that I am likely to be homeless this time next year. I've been putting it off because I have been so worried.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just feel so embarrassed to tell them that I am likely to be homeless this time next year. I've been putting it off because I have been so worried.
    There are plenty of people like you, you’re not in a completely different scenario, it happens. It is actually against the law to make judgement of someone giving confidential information, so there. However you will look very silly by not saying anything because if you leave it too late they can’t help you.
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    It's just so hard for me to speak up about it bc I feel so ashamed about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's just so hard for me to speak up about it bc I feel so ashamed about it.
    The uni had thousands of students every year. They hear all sorts of stories which are a lot more shameful than yours! Your story is nothing to be ashamed about.
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    The uni had thousands of students every year. They hear all sorts of stories which are a lot more shameful than yours! Your story is nothing to be ashamed about.
    Thank you very much for the reassurance. I just wonder, are my circumstances serious enough to warrant requests for mitigation? I have Aspergers and suffer from quite a bit of anxiety, so it's hard not to overfocus on it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you very much for the reassurance. I just wonder, are my circumstances serious enough to warrant requests for mitigation? I have Aspergers and suffer from quite a bit of anxiety, so it's hard not to overfocus on it.
    You should focus on the effects not the situation - the effect is severe anxiety and depression so that certainly warrants mitigating circumstances. It doesn't really matter what the cause is. And don't feel bad for asking, lots of people get help during uni at some point, you won't be granted mitigating circs if you don't deserve them.
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    Hi - Please can I have some more advice on this, as I am really feeling a lot of worry about this now. It is really affecting my studies.
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    You're just making excuses for yourself.

    So your parents mortgage is about to come to term. So what? Assuming they don't have an endowment and they've only been paying the interest?

    What next? They take out another mortgage maybe. They sell the house maybe. And then what? They take hundreds of thousands to the bank and buy another house or flat.

    This isn't a crisis. It's you looking for a free ride.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi - Please can I have some more advice on this, as I am really feeling a lot of worry about this now. It is really affecting my studies.
    You need to get personal help, face to face. It sounds as if your mother could do with some help too. Your uni should have some sort of student support system that can advise you, but they can only do this if you ask for the help. They won't come and find you. It is also important to talk to your personal tutor about what is happening - they are bound to have noticed that you have been behind with your work, and without explanations for this it will be difficult for them to cut you any slack. For anyone to be able to help, you have to get past the idea that your situation is shameful - it isn't. It certainly isn't your fault, but even if it was finding your way through it without help is a big ask.

    (Original post by Trinculo)
    You're just making excuses for yourself.

    So your parents mortgage is about to come to term. So what? Assuming they don't have an endowment and they've only been paying the interest?

    What next? They take out another mortgage maybe. They sell the house maybe. And then what? They take hundreds of thousands to the bank and buy another house or flat.

    This isn't a crisis. It's you looking for a free ride.
    These comments are deeply insensitive and not at all helpful to someone who is worried about their situation, and with good reason. There may be all sorts of reasons why the 'solution' is not as straightforward as you suggest, and for someone who has Asperger's uncertainty about the future can be deeply distressing.

    You might like to think about how you would feel if you had been the OP and someone responded to you in this way.
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    (Original post by Minerva)
    You need to get personal help, face to face. It sounds as if your mother could do with some help too. Your uni should have some sort of student support system that can advise you, but they can only do this if you ask for the help. They won't come and find you. It is also important to talk to your personal tutor about what is happening - they are bound to have noticed that you have been behind with your work, and without explanations for this it will be difficult for them to cut you any slack. For anyone to be able to help, you have to get past the idea that your situation is shameful - it isn't. It certainly isn't your fault, but even if it was finding your way through it without help is a big ask.

    These comments are deeply insensitive and not at all helpful to someone who is worried about their situation, and with good reason. There may be all sorts of reasons why the 'solution' is not as straightforward as you suggest, and for someone who has Asperger's uncertainty about the future can be deeply distressing.

    You might like to think about how you would feel if you had been the OP and someone responded to you in this way.
    Thank you so much for your understanding and advice. The situation is much more difficult and is having a much greater effect on me than the above poster makes out.

    What do you think the Uni can do to help. Can they space my deadlines, or could I possibly have these severe circumstances evaluated against any below par performance if raised anxiety causes this?

    I am just so worried about saying it to them, as I think that they will be ashamed of me.
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    (Original post by Minerva)
    These comments are deeply insensitive and not at all helpful to someone who is worried about their situation, and with good reason. There may be all sorts of reasons why the 'solution' is not as straightforward as you suggest, and for someone who has Asperger's uncertainty about the future can be deeply distressing.

    You might like to think about how you would feel if you had been the OP and someone responded to you in this way.
    I'm telling the OP that there is certainty and that there is nothing to be distressed about - rather than making a big fuss and playing up to all their insecurities.

    And quite what this has to do with getting an easy ride into university, I don't know.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much for your understanding and advice. The situation is much more difficult and is having a much greater effect on me than the above poster makes out.

    What do you think the Uni can do to help. Can they space my deadlines, or could I possibly have these severe circumstances evaluated against any below par performance if raised anxiety causes this?

    I am just so worried about saying it to them, as I think that they will be ashamed of me.
    No, they won't. If you have a formal diagnosis of Asperger's they are obliged to make reasonable adjustments to enable you to study effectively, and that can include spacing assignments more evenly. This would be the case even if you didn't have the home situation to worry about. The sooner you talk to them, the sooner they can help. Please don't delay any longer. I am sure you will find them much more sympathetic than you fear, and they certainly won't judge you.
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    (Original post by Trinculo)
    I'm telling the OP that there is certainty and that there is nothing to be distressed about - rather than making a big fuss and playing up to all their insecurities.

    And quite what this has to do with getting an easy ride into university, I don't know.
    If you had read the OP properly, he is already at university, and finding it difficult to cope because of the anxiety caused by his situation. Anyone would feel anxious and upset about the possibility of being made homeless, but the Asperger's means that the anxiety is much worse, to the point of disabling him in his university work. Whether the outstanding mortgage is £5k or £500k, if the house has to be sold to pay it off when the mortgage expires, that in itself can be a cause of anxiety in someone with Asperger's. Most people fiind moving house stressful, whether they have Asperger's or not, come to that.

    So, the OP knows there is huge uncertainty, and your posts are not sensitive to that, or to the effect that it's having on him. I think you would benefit from reading up a bit about stressful life events and how they can affect people who have different ways of thinking about things. With a formal diagnosis of Asperger's, the OP is entitled to additional support while at uni, whether or not there is particular issue of concern at present, and it is certainly not the case that he is either looking for, or will receive, a 'free ride'. What he should get, which you have signally failed to offer him so far, is sympathetic and practical support. Such support will enable him to deal with the unavoidable anxiety better and keep up with his university work.
 
 
 
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