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Could a girl ever, ever, ever, ever...
...be interested in a guy who was constantly under the influence of some drug? Now I don't mean completely comatose wasted or stoned or whatever. I just mean a guy who, whenever he has any social situation it ****s him up. Even if it's just 2-3 hits on a bong, or a can or 2 of Strongbow before he goes out he needs it to feel comfortable.
'Cause you see, I am that guy. Social interactions terrify me to my very soul. I don't like any social situations. I have to be under the influence, if only slightly, of something. Otherwise I am extremely anxious and paranoid.
And for some reason I can talk to my family easily enough. I can talk to my friends easily. D'you know the only time I have ever felt comfortable talking to friends? It's when my family is at least a mile away from me. And d'you know the only people I would truly call friends, not just 'mates', people who I would confess almost the deepest secrets of my very soul to, are? They are friends of the whole family. One is my age, the other is a year younger. And they are friends with the whole family.
By the way, on a side note, I'd just like to point out that I am drunk and getting drunker by the minute while writing this. And yes, much to most peoples surprise, I can actually type coherently while drunk. So some of this may seem rambling. I will proof read this post and correct any mistakes I actually see.
Why the **** can't I stand social situations. Why am I so concerned with how my words affect people. Because I am fully aware that unless they are a significant over or close friend (and I don't just man someone who've you've known awhile, I mean someone who you'd tell almost the deepest darkest contents of your soul too), what I say has no effect on them and, if it does, they are a complete moron (excluding of course family, best friends and significant others).
Why am I so afraid of upsetting people? It's not like they give a ****.
Arrrrhggghhh getting drunk can be so annoying some times.
I've made sure that anything I've written here won't embarrass me when I'm sober.
By the way, I am sorry if this post seems to go off in a tangent. However I have stated that I am drunk.
'Cause you see, I am that guy. Social interactions terrify me to my very soul. I don't like any social situations. I have to be under the influence, if only slightly, of something. Otherwise I am extremely anxious and paranoid.
And for some reason I can talk to my family easily enough. I can talk to my friends easily. D'you know the only time I have ever felt comfortable talking to friends? It's when my family is at least a mile away from me. And d'you know the only people I would truly call friends, not just 'mates', people who I would confess almost the deepest secrets of my very soul to, are? They are friends of the whole family. One is my age, the other is a year younger. And they are friends with the whole family.
By the way, on a side note, I'd just like to point out that I am drunk and getting drunker by the minute while writing this. And yes, much to most peoples surprise, I can actually type coherently while drunk. So some of this may seem rambling. I will proof read this post and correct any mistakes I actually see.
Why the **** can't I stand social situations. Why am I so concerned with how my words affect people. Because I am fully aware that unless they are a significant over or close friend (and I don't just man someone who've you've known awhile, I mean someone who you'd tell almost the deepest darkest contents of your soul too), what I say has no effect on them and, if it does, they are a complete moron (excluding of course family, best friends and significant others).
Why am I so afraid of upsetting people? It's not like they give a ****.
Arrrrhggghhh getting drunk can be so annoying some times.
I've made sure that anything I've written here won't embarrass me when I'm sober.
By the way, I am sorry if this post seems to go off in a tangent. However I have stated that I am drunk.
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Okay, I think you need to go and talk to your GP about this: from the sounds of it, you have a social phobia for which you are self-medicating with drink and drugs. Go and explain this to them (I know, social phobia + talking to GP = hard work) and they can help you find healthier ways of dealing with the problem.
^ before you do so though, do note that its everso easy to diagnose yourself with just about anything if you really really want to, and that prescribed drugs from the doctor are sometimes not much better.
I find it better to just force myself to pretend like im incredibly confident. it doesnt really work. but over time it does improve the situation.
YAP lets not be too melodramatic about it =/.
And your original quesiton matt, yes of course a girl could. its still you thats talking when your in these social situation isnt it? and after you'd got to know her, like you said, its very easy to talk to your friends & family anyway x
I find it better to just force myself to pretend like im incredibly confident. it doesnt really work. but over time it does improve the situation.
YAP lets not be too melodramatic about it =/.
And your original quesiton matt, yes of course a girl could. its still you thats talking when your in these social situation isnt it? and after you'd got to know her, like you said, its very easy to talk to your friends & family anyway x
get help. i have a terrible fear of social situations and i get panic attacks, and other anxiety problems. every morning i have to walk through lots of people my age to get to college and the only way i can get through it is by sticking my earphones in and turning my music up loud.
get referred to a psychiatrist or something through your GP, they may prescribe you anti-anxiety drugs for the short term to stop you relying on drinks and drugs, while putting something longer term in place such as stress-innoculation training or similar.
get referred to a psychiatrist or something through your GP, they may prescribe you anti-anxiety drugs for the short term to stop you relying on drinks and drugs, while putting something longer term in place such as stress-innoculation training or similar.
I hate social situations too. Unless I'm compltely drunk then I'm awful at them, and when I get completely drunk, I regret it the next morning because of the crap I've said to people.
One of my boyfriends was a raver and took all those kind of drugs- but he'd been my friend before then so I knew the "real" him- he was a lovely guy just had had a crappy life and got into all sorts. My advice: stay away from it as it will bring about problems later, think about it- you get yourself into a cycle of meeting girls/people "under the influence" because you're too scared otherwise- what if later that cycle extends to general going out- and then turns into a habit and then you're really in sh** street. It's hard for everyone (though some never admit it) to really "click" with people- but try and focus on your good points and get yourself into a confidence mindset.And remember, though life can be more painful it is also more beautiful with clarity rather than irrationality.
Oh btw for anyone who doesn't know, I am already on anti depressants.
And getting drunk is not a regular occurence. Sometimes though, you just say to yourself "I need to get wasted/stoned/comatose whatever.
And yes I am at home and not getting drunk with anyone but my own self.
And getting drunk is not a regular occurence. Sometimes though, you just say to yourself "I need to get wasted/stoned/comatose whatever.
And yes I am at home and not getting drunk with anyone but my own self.
In a word - no. If you would like to date a girl who didn't care about who you were without the chemical dilution of your soul, then sure. I suppose you could even fall for the theory that reality is false without a hit and proclaim that you ARE the drugs (yay Dali etc).
But really. Constant drug use is a little like hiding behind a chemical induced persona.
Where are you?
If you fear the pitfalls of intimacy, work through the emotions, don't dodge them.
But really. Constant drug use is a little like hiding behind a chemical induced persona.
Where are you?
If you fear the pitfalls of intimacy, work through the emotions, don't dodge them.
Fillette*est*rentrée*
One of my boyfriends was a raver and took all those kind of drugs- but he'd been my friend before then so I knew the "real" him- he was a lovely guy just had had a crappy life and got into all sorts. My advice: stay away from it as it will bring about problems later, think about it- you get yourself into a cycle of meeting girls/people "under the influence" because you're too scared otherwise- what if later that cycle extends to general going out- and then turns into a habit and then you're really in sh** street. It's hard for everyone (though some never admit it) to really "click" with people- but try and focus on your good points and get yourself into a confidence mindset.And remember, though life can be more painful it is also more beautiful with clarity rather than irrationality.
The sober matt@internet would like to appologise to any offence caused by anything I write while drunk.
matt@internet
I don't have any good points.
The sober matt@internet would like to appologise to any offence caused by anything I write while drunk.
The sober matt@internet would like to appologise to any offence caused by anything I write while drunk.
Yes you do- you're not arrogant- which is THE most off putting trait in all men
And you've got loads of others too- you just need to think about it.Fillette*est*rentrée*
Yes you do- you're not arrogant- which is THE most off putting trait in all men And you've got loads of others too- you just need to think about it.
And you've got loads of others too- you just need to think about it.The sober matt@internet would like to appologise to any offence caused by anything I write while drunk.
You should also realise that you are deeling with a drunk person (alcohol is a depressant) and that I am already on anti-depresasnts. It's just I feel like I needed to drink tonight, even if I am drinking alone in my room.
I can help you think of a few: You're articulate even though you say you're pissed which is quite a feat- you're obviously intelligent enough cos you can analyse the situation you're in. And I don't even know you and that's what I;m getting- so friends/ yourself could tell you a lot more 
Sarahl89
So you're not 'constantly under the influence of some kind of drug' then?
Lots of people seem to do that in social situations anyway, from my experience, and although its not a good thing, its not like its entirely constant and you never talk to anyone when your sober, is it?
Lots of people seem to do that in social situations anyway, from my experience, and although its not a good thing, its not like its entirely constant and you never talk to anyone when your sober, is it?
matt@internet
Oh btw for anyone who doesn't know, I am already on anti depressants.
I didn't know that. Has the focus for your treatment so far been mainly on depression? It's probably worth bring the social phobia up too, if that's causing you significant distress - it affects the choice of medication (some anti-depressants work better for anxiety than others) as well as which talking therapy to consider.
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