Cheating on my boyfriend and constantly lying about it Watch

anonymous 15
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
I feel like ****. I cheated on my boyfriend and didnt tell him. the boy told my boyfriend it happened and i lied to get out of it. its been 4 months and he still is unsure of the truth. he broke up with me due to the doubt he has because i messed up my story abit. He doesnt trust me but he obviously has a right not to. i feel so terrible like ive litterally not been able to look at myself in the mirror im judging myself so much and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse. We were together 2 years. I cant lose him. His my everything and doesnt deserve any of this. I just wanna go back in time and put it right but i cant. He means the world to me and he deserves the truth but i dont wanna hurt him. This will destroy him if he finds out it really was true. All his friends and familly are convincing him its true but he is 50/50. Ive done a terrible thing and i cant deal with the guilt but i cant tell him now after lying for so long.
0
reply
storm95
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
If he’s your everything why you cheat?
He doesn’t deserve you and he needs to know the truth no trust=no relationship
0
reply
UWS
  • Answer Heroes
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
He deserves to know.

Then again, you probably should just stay away from him now. He deserves someone better than you.
0
reply
DrawTheLine
  • Volunteer Team
Badges: 22
Rep:
?
#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
(Original post by anonymous 15)
I feel like ****. I cheated on my boyfriend and didnt tell him. the boy told my boyfriend it happened and i lied to get out of it. its been 4 months and he still is unsure of the truth. he broke up with me due to the doubt he has because i messed up my story abit. He doesnt trust me but he obviously has a right not to. i feel so terrible like ive litterally not been able to look at myself in the mirror im judging myself so much and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse. We were together 2 years. I cant lose him. His my everything and doesnt deserve any of this. I just wanna go back in time and put it right but i cant. He means the world to me and he deserves the truth but i dont wanna hurt him. This will destroy him if he finds out it really was true. All his friends and familly are convincing him its true but he is 50/50. Ive done a terrible thing and i cant deal with the guilt but i cant tell him now after lying for so long.
- Can't lose him? You did the moment you cheated.
- Your everything? Clearly not or you would not have cheated.
- Doesn't deserve it? Correct. He doesn't deserve you, he needs someone who treats him so much better.
- Means the world to you? No he doesn't or you would not have cheated.
- It'll destroy him? Yes, it will because you've given him trust issues for the rest of his future relationships.

What do you want us to say? We certainly aren't going to try and make you feel better. As harsh as it sounds, honestly you deserve to feel as sh*tty as you do. And you should just tell him the truth. He more likely than not already knows, but is just waiting for your confirmation.

Next time, be a better person. There is no excuse for cheating. Ever.
4
reply
username2052983
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 1 year ago
#5
(Original post by anonymous 15)
I feel like ****. I cheated on my boyfriend and didnt tell him. the boy told my boyfriend it happened and i lied to get out of it. its been 4 months and he still is unsure of the truth. he broke up with me due to the doubt he has because i messed up my story abit. He doesnt trust me but he obviously has a right not to. i feel so terrible like ive litterally not been able to look at myself in the mirror im judging myself so much and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse. We were together 2 years. I cant lose him. His my everything and doesnt deserve any of this. I just wanna go back in time and put it right but i cant. He means the world to me and he deserves the truth but i dont wanna hurt him. This will destroy him if he finds out it really was true. All his friends and familly are convincing him its true but he is 50/50. Ive done a terrible thing and i cant deal with the guilt but i cant tell him now after lying for so long.
Clearly doesn't mean the world to you if you cheated on him.

He deserves better.
0
reply
cheesecakelove
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#6
Report 1 year ago
#6
What you have done cannot be undone, you have to deal with the consequences for you and your relationship. You can't lie forever, and I think the longer you try to hide it, the worse it will be when the truth finally comes out. You have to be honest with him. Most probably he will never want to see you again (understandable) but maybe you can try to work things out in time. Continuing to lie means there is no hope for your future.
0
reply
harrythomas14
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 year ago
#7
Moral of the story; you lie in your bed the way you made it.

No sympathy - he didn't deserve to be cheated on, in the same way you no longer deserved to be with him from the moment you made the conscious decision to cheat.
0
reply
username2981082
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 1 year ago
#8
(Original post by anonymous 15)
I feel like ****. I cheated on my boyfriend and didnt tell him. the boy told my boyfriend it happened and i lied to get out of it. its been 4 months and he still is unsure of the truth. he broke up with me due to the doubt he has because i messed up my story abit. He doesnt trust me but he obviously has a right not to. i feel so terrible like ive litterally not been able to look at myself in the mirror im judging myself so much and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse. We were together 2 years. I cant lose him. His my everything and doesnt deserve any of this. I just wanna go back in time and put it right but i cant. He means the world to me and he deserves the truth but i dont wanna hurt him. This will destroy him if he finds out it really was true. All his friends and familly are convincing him its true but he is 50/50. Ive done a terrible thing and i cant deal with the guilt but i cant tell him now after lying for so long.
You are correct. You can't go back in time and undo this selfish action of yours. You can redeem yourself by being honest and telling him the truth. You can stop being a selfish person by giving your boyfriend the choice of whether he wants to stay with you or not.

However, people like you will never do this because you are self-centred and incapable of thinking of anyone other than yourself. You will probably carry on cheating on him and lying to him, never letting him find happiness with someone who would genuinely care about him.
1
reply
Foggel
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#9
Report 1 year ago
#9
Tell him the truth and walk out of his life. Not for your sake but for his. He deserves the truth and he does not deserve someone like you in his life.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Trinculo
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#10
Report 1 year ago
#10
I swear that TSR is going to be the solution to any future war with machines. We're all so scared of AI and computers making decisions for themselves. Well look at TSR - humans, at the peak of their intellect have been reduced to autonomic responses. Humans have become rudimentary machines.

Go to TSR. Type in "I cheated". Response - "he/she deserves better".

Reduced to the level of a few lines of code. Seriously, people, can you not do any better than this?
0
reply
marzipan1030
Badges: 17
Rep:
?
#11
Report 1 year ago
#11
He deserves to know. This may sound harsh,I’m sorry, but you need to tell the truth so you can face the consequences. There is no excuse for cheating. If he was truly your everything, then why did you cheat? You can’t forge another relationship with him unless he knows the truth, because he has a right to know what actually happened. Then he can decide what he wants to do. There is no excuse for cheating and there never will be. If you continue to lie, and he finds out, he will never be able to trust you and maybe will never want another relationship. So before matters get a thousand times worse, please tell him the truth for both of your wellbeing’s
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Spicexxx
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#12
Report 2 months ago
#12
Your boyfriend need to know the truth if he love you and want to give you a second chance is up to to him
0
reply
ageshallnot
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 months ago
#13
(Original post by Spicexxx)
Your boyfriend need to know the truth if he love you and want to give you a second chance is up to to him
Perhaps they've resolved the issue in the intervening year???
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
ageshallnot
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 months ago
#14
(Original post by KainsBanes)
If it were me, it wouldn't 'destroy me' to find out I wasn't actually a paranoid basket case who may have made a terrible decision, but the person I was in a relationship with for 2 years had actually cheated on me. You should really do the decent thing and tell him the truth; that'll mean putting aside your selfish concern about potentially not getting him back (it would be pretty screwed up to get him back only to continue lying to him anyway).
It was a year ago!
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
Ciel.
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#15
Report 2 months ago
#15
(Original post by anonymous 15)
I feel like ****. I cheated on my boyfriend and didnt tell him. the boy told my boyfriend it happened and i lied to get out of it. its been 4 months and he still is unsure of the truth. he broke up with me due to the doubt he has because i messed up my story abit. He doesnt trust me but he obviously has a right not to. i feel so terrible like ive litterally not been able to look at myself in the mirror im judging myself so much and theres nothing anyone can say to make me feel worse. We were together 2 years. I cant lose him. His my everything and doesnt deserve any of this. I just wanna go back in time and put it right but i cant. He means the world to me and he deserves the truth but i dont wanna hurt him. This will destroy him if he finds out it really was true. All his friends and familly are convincing him its true but he is 50/50. Ive done a terrible thing and i cant deal with the guilt but i cant tell him now after lying for so long.
Just deny it. He has no evidence.
0
reply
KainsBanes
Badges: 7
Rep:
?
#16
Report 2 months ago
#16
(Original post by ageshallnot)
It was a year ago!
Thank you so much for your intervention here. I already noticed and deleted, but again, thank you so much.
0
reply
Anonymous #2
#17
Report 2 months ago
#17
So I agree you should tell him, and that what you did was wrong, and you especially shouldn't have lied about it. Not telling him and straight up lying to his face are different, and he does deserve to know the truth if you still want a chance at being with him.
I do think some people are being a bit harsh here. I've both been cheated on and I have cheated.
I'd been with my boyfriend at the time for 5 months, he'd spent 2 months of that time in another country on a gap year and I'd just moved to university. I met someone who I really liked, and I'd been contemplating breaking up with my boyfriend for a month or so (partly because I just couldn't deal with long distance, but there were lots of other factors too) but I wanted to wait until the christmas period when he would be back in the UK and we could talk in person, I didn't want to break up with him over the phone.
I ended up going on a night out (because first week of uni), got quite drunk because I was so stressed about this all, and ended up kissing the guy I'd met who I liked. I felt so horrible and guilty and I broke up with my boyfriend the next morning. I didn't tell him I'd kissed someone else, because there were other reasons behind the break up too that we could talk about. I didn't want to hurt him unnecessarily.

If you want to be with him still, you need to tell him, you need to have an open and honest conversation and let him make a fully informed decision. If you don't want to tell him, then let him move on and leave him alone.

Cheating isn't always as clear cut as it seems, and often if you find yourself even considering cheating then there is something much more fundamentally flawed in the relationship.
Also, I hate the term "once a cheater, always a cheater" because yes I cheated once, but I was only 18, I was young and stupid and the relationship had so many problems and should have ended differently. I know I messed up a lot, but I am now in my 20s, live with my boyfriend of 3 years, and cannot even imagine being with anyone else.
0
reply
Anonymous #3
#18
Report 2 months ago
#18
Female hypergamy.
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How has 2019 been so far?

Amazing!!! (38)
5.72%
Fairly positive (217)
32.68%
Just another year... (263)
39.61%
Is it 2020 yet? (146)
21.99%

Watched Threads

View All