School receptionist rude to my daughter

My husband handed my daughters exercise book in at the reception because she had forgot to take it to school. The receptionist told my husband that my daughter would have to collect it and she wasn't going to send it to her. When my daughter asked for the exercise book at the reception the receptionist had gone for lunch and her colleagues were unable to help her, so my daughter who was by now in a state of panic asked if she could see the cctv footage to trace the whereabouts of the book. And she was refused . (We later discovered she had sent it to the wrong room despite saying my daughter would have to collect it.) My daughter then asked if the receptionist could be contacted on her mobile but was refused and asked to wait until the receptionist had returned. Meanwhile my daughter text me telling me the whole situation and that she was terribly worried her teacher was going to scold her about not bringing her book to lesson. I then decided that being her mother I should express Her distress to them and ask if they could contact the receptionist. Again they told me that we would have to wait until she returned which I excepted. The problem arose a little while later when the receptionist had returned and Made scathing remarks in front of other students about my daughter saying I want to have a word with my daughter who has been demanding to see cctv footage and demanded to ring her up during her dinner break. She made sarcastic remarks such as what's been going on whilst i was out to my daughter and when my daughter tried to explain she overpowered and walked off . My daughter was very upset and when I rang in to question why the receptionist behaved so rudely towards my daughter she kept saying she I was on my break and she wanted my colleagues to ring me . I explained to her that surely she must understand that my daughter was worried and not that she was creating a nuisance or accusing anyone but she quickly decided to brush me off by putting me through to the head teacher who passed the message on that she would speak to me later. Anyway, when my daughter came home she told me the head teacher had a word with her and that she began by some side issue regarding her punctuality and then asked about the incident and then would allow my daughter to explain properly and said that she has apologised to the reception staff on my daughters behalf . I am appalled by all of this and I think this is unfair for my daughter to have to be in such a powerless situation. My husband was contacted later who was told that I also demanded to see cctv footage when that wasn't the case. So angry, what shall I do?

Reply 1

Ray_Shadows

so from what i picked up from that block of text you're daughter is upset over a textbook and the receptionist is incompetent ?

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Just leave it, I reckon you're troll anyways.

Reply 3

Trinculo

School receptionists are generally a rude class of people. I'm not quite sure why - it's a bit like doctors receptionists.

I think it might be something that they are trained to do to keep order in the school - it's not impossible to see that if they behaved like "regular" receptionists, school children would very quickly take advantage of them.

On the other hand, the way a lot of state school receptionists behave especially toward parents is very poor - they seem to act more like nightclub bouncers than any kind of front of house staff. The difference at public schools is quite clear - when parents are direct consumers.

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I call that you're a troll? But you blew it out of proportion, why cctv? that would do nothing, talking behind her back is not on but seriously you wanted the receptionist off her break when she wouldn't get the time back, also couldn't you have Calmed her down teachers are understanding as long as the book is actually in school.

Reply 5

LeapingLucy

It's a lesson for your daughter that she needs to remember her books & take responsibility for her mistakes.

It was completely ridiculous for her to demand to see the CCTV - that is there for security reasons, not for locating lost books.

Reply 6

Trinculo

Original post by LeapingLucy

She can demand by law to have a copy of any CCTV footage with her on it, and the school cannot refuse - or face an unlimited fine and the Data Protection Officer (usually the headteacher) can be liable for imprisonment.

The school can, however make a nominal charge - usually around £10 for the footage.

Reply 7

LeapingLucy

Original post by Trinculo

But she didn’t want to see the bit with her on it. She wanted to see the bit earlier in the day with her dad and the receptionist...

Reply 8

Trinculo

Original post by LeapingLucy

But she didn’t want to see the bit with her on it. She wanted to see the bit earlier in the day with her dad and the receptionist...

That's true. Point is - just because the school thinks the CCTV system is their own personal little big brother toy- it isn't.

Reply 9

Waheeda1975

What I find astonishing is why the headteacher apologised to the receptionist before even hearing my daughters side of the story.
Surely if it's against the law then why did She explain to my husband later that it wasn't school policy to show cctv footage?

Reply 10

Kindred

Honestly it would be silly to call the receptionist on her break and I'm sure there are rules which mean they can't show CCTV footage. Your daughter was asking for more than was reasonable in the situation, but she's a kid. Even as teenagers you're still learning what's appropriate in what situations and to her not having her book could be a very big deal to her. It's unstable that she'd be worried and want to sort it quickly. As adults who know better the other staff should really have explained and given some better advice of what would be more appropriate.
It's not at all professional or nice to tell the receptionist about it all and her then have a go at your daughter. She's a kid. Kids make mistakes. It's up to adults to help them learn from those mistakes, not be rude about it.

There were some mess ups on each side and all in all it turned out far less well than it should have. It's unfortunate, but shouldn't be a big issue. I would move on and try not to make a big thing of it.

Head teacher should not be giving ultimatums about attendance and apologising. They are separate issues and should be treated as such. It might be tactful for your daughter to apologies, but she does not need to and it should not affect any separate issues like attendance.

You might like to write a apology-ish email from you and your daughter to explain that she was not trying to be pushy and was just worried. That could help mend the whole situation over a bit, but past that both sides should leave it be.
If school try to bring it up more just say it was an unfortunate issue, but you don't think it's fair to drag it out or penalise your daughter in other aspects over it.
Hopefully they will also be wanting to leave it alone though.

Hope that helps. Shame things for so blown out of proportion.

Reply 11

RVNmax

Original post by LeapingLucy

Multiple wrongs do not make a right. This is not about the pupil's actions, I'm sure she would've learn't the lessons about not forgetting her books and reality of CCTV without the staff being incompetent.

Regardless, mistakes happen. Books are forgotten. The student was trying to be pragmatic about it to resolve a problem and using her initiative, I certainly wouldn't blame her. I've had personal experience of CCTV being used for the purposes of lost property so it's not unheard of. It was the staff who made a meal of the nothing situation that could've been easily resolved (not necessarily by CCTV just to clarify), but unfortunately too many school receptionists and staff in general are overly egoistic for their roles as shown by the headteacher's actions. Though I have met some really good receptionists and heads as well.

Original post by Anonymous

OP, I understand your anger, just make sure that you stay calm and focused if you pursue this matter any further. I'd ask your daughter what she wants, and my suggestion would be to try and clarify the misunderstandings the head has with thinking your daughter has anything apologise for (unless it was for the manner she herself spoke in or something) and the seemingly inappropriate way the head pursued the meeting with your daughter in a way where issues were being conflated. You could either arrange a meeting or write a letter with both your daughter and husband involved to prevent further misunderstandings. That's what I would prioritise as only by being on the same page as the head can any further issues be resolved. Obviously the behaviour of the receptionists is an issue, especially if your daughter has to deal with them daily, so try to be the better person and resolve this amicably.

I'd leave the CCTV point out of this, as that is not the main problem, which is the behaviour of the staff; if that gets resolved then technical issues such as the CCTV matter will be a lot easier to resolve as that is a matter of practice and protocol. If it gets raised, then simply note that it was just an attempt at an innovative solution, which possibly could have been used by the other members of staff themselves, but your issue is with the receptionist judging your child rather than resolving the issue as well as the on-goings in the meeting that followed.

Note that your latest post has not been made anonymously unlike your OP.

Reply 12

doodle_333

Assuming you're not a troll...

your daughter was being ridiculous, it's an exercise book and she was the one who forgot it... there was no need to run around the school like crazy, search on CCTV or disturb anyone's lunch hour...

it's unfortunate the book was sent to the wrong room but these things happen, soemtimes classes are changes and systems aren't updated, sometimes the person sent on the message got it wrong etc - the receptionist had tried to help

searching CCTV FOR AN EXERCISE BOOK is a huge overreaction

would you want to be bugged on your lunch hour? I think not. So don't expect other people to give up theirs for no good reason. Your daughter could have written on paper for half an hour.

And then she got a talking to because the two of you made such a big thing of it between you... they then felt they needed to make it clear you can't harass and demand things of the staff

Reply 13

bones-mccoy

What's the worst that can happen if she forgets her book? She gets told off? Maybe a detention? It's not the end of the world.

Unfortunately a lot of receptionists think they're superior and have some sort of hidden power over people that means they can treat them like crap.