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Uni, moving out and anorexia

Might as well be as blunt and to the point as I please (god, I love the internet, anonymous posting ftw) :smile:

I was diagnosed with anorexia earlier this year, and to a degree, I've got it under control ... well, in the context of no longer losing weight. I've been thinking a lot about the stress of uni lately, though, and the fact that I'm moving away from home, beyond the reach of any family members, and understandably, they're freaking out, in case I have a relapse or if I get sick while I'm away. It's no bloody picnic for me either, since I haven't a clue how this is going to turn out, but does anyone else have any experiences like this? Any stories about moving away from home for university with already existing problems? I guess I just want to hear people's thoughts on how you can handle the stress of moving out and starting in a place where you don't know anybody (I'm not a very social person in any case.) How do you cope?

Reply 1

lincs_b

1

I've never been to uni (I study with the OU) but I have had problems with ED's for awhile now. The way to look at it is you can't put your life on hold so you need to get all the support you can. Stress can be a big problem so try to keep on top of everything and arrange to see a councellor before things slip. I presume that you'd have councellors at the uni. Don't isolate yourself either. Make friends and go out for dinner etc. Above all make sure you speak to someone if you think you are going back to old habits. Good luck!

Reply 2

Charli88

Hey

I'm kind of in the same situation, i'm currently in recovery and receiving lots of support. I'm about 3/4 of the way to reaching my target weight but still feel far from normal! I have a place held for me in September to study Medicine, a highly stressful subject! I'm really worried about it and scared of relapsing, but then again i really don't want to throw away such a fantastic opportunity! I guess only time will tell..

I have been offered lots of support when i get there though, i'll have regular check ups with my gp with weigh-ins and also get to see a counsellor probably on a weekly basis. I really hope this will be enough although its far less support than i receive at the moment! I'm scared but i know that to truly get my life back i have to prove to myself i can do it!

Maybe you could talk to the University and ask what support they have available for you, i take it they know about your situation?

PM me anytime cus its great to know people in the same situation =]
xxxxx

Reply 3

sarcasticallysincere

Definetly tackle it before going to uni - if necessary take a gap year or something to get into a good place because uni can present you with so many provocations to relapse. I say this from personal experience - I started uni back in October somewhat in denial that I had a problem but then being at uni and away from my parents ie the need to hide things + plus the stress meant that it got 100 times worse. Really don't risk it - allow yourself time before going to uni

Reply 4

suicidal_dream

1

i had mild anorexia (didnt last too long as i was already tiny so when weight starting dropping off, people were on to me pretty sharpish).

I'm currently at uni.
I was so paranoid about getting back into bad habits (the first thing i do when im upset/angry/stressed, is stop eating) but i found, that when you have a close friend by you, like i did for my first year, i told her about it and i felt the 'problem shared is a problem halved' thing, we'd always eat dinner together so i had a reason to eat.

Don't worry about it though, theres always counsellors of some sort at university, so you'll be able to talk to them when you feel the need.

Reply 5

Elija Black

I'm not sure about most people, but I found it was bad having no one close to confide in (not that I really ever did). Maybe others make close friends easier, but still, it gets bad sometimes having no one there for you. For myself, my (somewhat numerous) bad qualities have gotten worse now that I've moved away from those who would be a positive influence, so I think a lack of guidance is detrimental to your overall self.

And also, since you're paying for your own food you tend to eat less so I guess that makes it worse >.<

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

I had ED problems before uni, and was worried (and somewhat hoping, I guess) that it would be a problem at uni, that with the option of not eating that I'd get worse. I was at catered halls, so the kitchen's were crap, and so all my friends would always go to the canteen to get food, I found that it would be really obvious if I wasnt going with them, and slowly a routine of eating properly built up because I wanted to share my time with these people and not become insular.

Reply 7

KTCI

OP

2

Thanks for the replies so far :smile:

It's very comforting to get so many responses where I was taken seriously (as you can tell by the first post, I was a bit apprehensive.)

I'm going for a psych. assessment next week - I've just completed six months of therapy, which was basically just talking and finding out all the underlying problems I have (yeah, very cheery) that likely triggered the eating disorder. I went into therapy willingly, and stopped a lot of my dangerous and unhealthy habits, but I am in a limbo - I am still significantly underweight and unhealthy, and this assessment next week will decide what they're going to offer me next in terms of help and support. I've already got emails from Leeds University, and they assured me I'd get medical and therapy support, and even told me that I might qualify for disability allowance while I'm living there (ker-ching.)

But I'm going into self catering accommodation, and I'm worried about what I might end up doing. I don't want to give up uni, because I don't want to feel like my anorexia has made me put my life on hold, but I'm also worried about moving in with strangers, who obviously won't know how much of a fruit loop I am. What if I don't make any friends and I draw into myself? What if I get too stressed and I go into a downward spiral? I dunno ...

Reply 8

Last Summer's Dream

2

I read a book about a girl who went to Cambridge university after already having been diagnosed with anorexia in the past. Although, she didn't go back to anorexia, she suffered with ednos all of her time there.

I have ednos and have struggled with eating disorders all my life and I'm kind of scared about the whole uni thing. Living away from home could be bad for me. At home, I have a supportive family and a Mother who herself suffered with bulemia for most of her life and so she is always watching me. I've decided to go catered at uni as I think it will help a lot. Set eating times, with other people. Each person will react differently, I guess. It sounds as though you're preparing yourself in the best way you can though.

Reply 9

Metamorphosis_S

It's hard to face but a lot of people develop eating disorders because of the stress of University. Being already diagnosed makes this a much bigger risk.
Make sure your University knows about it, they'll give you support
Try and make friends as quickly as you can so that you have a support base there too
As long as you really really want to leave it behind you, you can use this new start as a chance to do just that :smile:

Reply 10

lily_blue3

13

KTCI

Might as well be as blunt and to the point as I please (god, I love the internet, anonymous posting ftw) :smile:

I was diagnosed with anorexia earlier this year, and to a degree, I've got it under control ... well, in the context of no longer losing weight. I've been thinking a lot about the stress of uni lately, though, and the fact that I'm moving away from home, beyond the reach of any family members, and understandably, they're freaking out, in case I have a relapse or if I get sick while I'm away. It's no bloody picnic for me either, since I haven't a clue how this is going to turn out, but does anyone else have any experiences like this? Any stories about moving away from home for university with already existing problems? I guess I just want to hear people's thoughts on how you can handle the stress of moving out and starting in a place where you don't know anybody (I'm not a very social person in any case.) How do you cope?

same problem. absolutely, unbelievably terrified of relapse. which is ridiculous, because if I can be scared of relapse then I'm not likely too...well in the world of logic anyway. I'm sure you get what I'm talking about :smile:

Reply 11

KTCI

OP

2

I'm finding the idea of getting a support base unlikely, beyond the obvious people of therapy - I haven't even told my best friend that I'm anorexic. My family knows, as well, but I've always chickened out of telling my best mate, since I think 'well, if I tell her, what good will it do?' She's not very good with other people's problems, and to tell the truth, I like to have someone I can feel normal with ... if I tell her, it'll screw all that up. If I can't tell her, how can I tell people who I don't know very well at all :s-smilie:

I don't want to be the anorexic girl ...

I kinda feel like this is a sink or swim situation - I'm gonna hit the water, and I'll either sink or swim, and I don't know how it'll turn out until it happens.

Reply 12

batty_hatty

7

Hey,
Firstly, well done on getting a place at university, and on acknowledging your ed and getting the help for it.
right, i have had two bouts of ed in the past: anorexia when i was 9-11 and ednos when i was 15-17. It is always there and sometimes surfaces again but thankfully i can control it (just about) now as i know i cannot afford to go anorexic again - as i am a vet school so wouldnt cope physically.
I was really worried when i went to uni as i had never cooked for myself and didnt want to have to tell people to make sure i eat. I was living in a house, so was also self catering. i found this a massive advantage because it has meant that i can cook food that i like, and i now have an interest in cooking and trying new things. i think that being in catered halls wouldn't have been for me as i am quite fussy and i probably would have eaten less than i should. People will say that they eat less because they are paying for it and now are aware how much food costs, but if you buy cleverly you can eat well for relatively very little - as long as you are prepared to cok from scratch, which is better for you and will (hopefully) spark your interest in cooking and food in general.
In terms of support, you will be living with a group of people you have never met before, but you will become close to a few of them at least relatively quickly. they will (im sure) understand especially if you explain that you are climbing back up that slope to recovery and are getting help.

Once again, well done on getting help and if you want to talk then pm me and i will give you my msn,

Harriet

x

PS this is not anon because i wish to show that people should not be ashamed of ed's they have now or have had in the past - those of you who know me, well now you know

Reply 13

iheartvet

5

i would suggest that you try and remember that if you went through a bad period that you were able to come out of it in the end. if or when you relapse, you have to remind yourself that you got through it once and you will get through it again. that strength is always there, even if you sometimes get overwhelmed and forget. a relapse is part of recovery, so do not be hard on yourself if you are not always 'improving'. that, i think, is part of the disease.

best wishes.
ex

Reply 14

Anonymous #2

KTCI

I'm finding the idea of getting a support base unlikely, beyond the obvious people of therapy - I haven't even told my best friend that I'm anorexic. My family knows, as well, but I've always chickened out of telling my best mate, since I think 'well, if I tell her, what good will it do?' She's not very good with other people's problems, and to tell the truth, I like to have someone I can feel normal with ... if I tell her, it'll screw all that up. If I can't tell her, how can I tell people who I don't know very well at all :s-smilie:

I don't want to be the anorexic girl ...

I kinda feel like this is a sink or swim situation - I'm gonna hit the water, and I'll either sink or swim, and I don't know how it'll turn out until it happens.

You're right - you don't want to be the anorexic girl, and I wouldn't advise going around telling all your new flatmates and uni acquaintances about your eating problems. Most people wouldn't understand.

However, speaking as someone who DID have an ED (EDNOS, in my case, not striaght anorexia), thought she was over it, and relapsed pretty badly a few months into university....when you go to uni, figure out what kind of support systems are in place immediately, and continue your therapy if possible. Part of the reason my relapse got so bad is that for more than a month, I wasn't able to get any sort of therapy or help from the university. Not feeling close enough with any of my new "friends" to pour all my issues out to, I just sort of let it go on full-force for a while.

But like iheartvet said, if you have gotten through it once, you can do it again. As much as therapy and all that helps, it's YOU who is doing the work and finding the strength to overcome it. If you can overcome it now, you can in the future. I have gotten over relapses many times on my own, but that doesn't make it any less hard and overwhelming when I find myself slipping.

Reply 15

blanche89

3

Hi.. I was in a similar situation to you a couple of years back - i was recovering from anorexia and moving to a new 6th form, which was incredibly stressful.. and after a few months settling in, I realised that I had found some lovely friends and I underwent a lot of self-realisation and realised that I didn't need my eating disorder to cope. PM me if you want
XX

Reply 16

KTCI

OP

2

batty_hatty

Hey,
Firstly, well done on getting a place at university, and on acknowledging your ed and getting the help for it.
right, i have had two bouts of ed in the past: anorexia when i was 9-11 and ednos when i was 15-17. It is always there and sometimes surfaces again but thankfully i can control it (just about) now as i know i cannot afford to go anorexic again - as i am a vet school so wouldnt cope physically.
I was really worried when i went to uni as i had never cooked for myself and didnt want to have to tell people to make sure i eat. I was living in a house, so was also self catering. i found this a massive advantage because it has meant that i can cook food that i like, and i now have an interest in cooking and trying new things. i think that being in catered halls wouldn't have been for me as i am quite fussy and i probably would have eaten less than i should. People will say that they eat less because they are paying for it and now are aware how much food costs, but if you buy cleverly you can eat well for relatively very little - as long as you are prepared to cok from scratch, which is better for you and will (hopefully) spark your interest in cooking and food in general.
In terms of support, you will be living with a group of people you have never met before, but you will become close to a few of them at least relatively quickly. they will (im sure) understand especially if you explain that you are climbing back up that slope to recovery and are getting help.

Once again, well done on getting help and if you want to talk then pm me and i will give you my msn,

Harriet

x

PS this is not anon because i wish to show that people should not be ashamed of ed's they have now or have had in the past - those of you who know me, well now you know

Hehe ... thank you very much :smile:

I am actually surprisingly fond of cooking :P I bake sometimes and make a lot of stir-fries and things like that. I do enjoy trying new things, though I am suspicious of some things, and of course I'm at the mercy of my dad's shopping list, so I usually have to buy my own bits and pieces (like yogurt and other unnecessary things.) I think that maybe uni will help me focus less on calories, especially since I'll likely have to make things in bulk and freeze batches instead of making single portions every meal time, as it's not really cost or time effective ... sometimes I find it easier when the decision is taken out of my hands, if that makes any sense.

It's more frustrating right now because I don't really feel like I'm moving forward. It's also a really constant issue, since it's like it's there all the time - and going day by day is pretty damn grinding, since it doesn't feel like I'm going anywhere ><

Reply 17

Anonymous #3

-KTCI
i think that putting pressure on yourself to 'move forward' is part of why it is so hard to move forward, if that makes sense. you should be proud of yourself for how well you are doing and not focus on the negative things. i know that when i was diagnosed with a similar issue four years ago, i had many of the same feelings, but it takes a really long time for you to work through things. only now am i really beginning to notice a definite change. this is a long and winding road so don't expect things to go anywhere too quickly.

Reply 18

Anonymous #4

I thought when I started uni that my eating habbits would get better. My doctors/teachers etc said to me that when I had more control over myself (e.g. moving out so I can choose to do what I want) I would have less desire to control what I eat. I'm in catered halls but I don't ever go to meals- saying I don't like the food. A few people at uni know I've had an eating disorder but I make it sound like it's way in the past and not a current problem. I've got much worse. I spend so much time and energy thinking about food, and physically it's definitely affecting me.

I really don't want to be like this anymore, but being at medical school where they're funny about fitness to practice, I feel saying something would get me booted straight out. When I got my grades in August I had to go and see the OH department and they said I could start and would then review me. I went to my review, wore baggy clothes and a massive coat to hide the weight loss, said all the right things they wanted to hear, and got away with it. I'm now supposedly fit to carry on the course.

I really wish I'd sorted out all my issues properly before I started university. I went to lots of doctors, counsellors, psychs etc but just fobbed them off really. I regret that now, and wish I'd really addressed my issues and got over this. It's such a waste of time and energy worrying over food and weight- there are so many more important things! That's what I'm telling myself now, I'm really really going to make a conscious effort to recover.

I've made it sound all doom and gloom but it isn't. Try as hard as you can to be as well as possible when you start uni, and I'm sure you'll fly through it! Good luck :smile:

Reply 19

KTCI

OP

2

Thank you for all the advice and support, guys :smile:

I'm trying not to be so hard on myself, since that's one of my main problems - I'm a perfectionist in the die-hard sense of the term, so it's hard to get satisfaction out of anything unless I can see or know results ... for now, I'm just trying to look after myself as best I can, since I'm in the middle of exams right now, and I can't afford to get ill ^^;; I'm going for my 'assessment' tomorrow, whoo ... any words of wisdom? I'm kind of nervous, since I've not exactly heard glowing reports about the treatment of eating disorders on the NHS, which is where it might be going (tomorrow's a psychiatric assessment and deciding where we go from here now that my general therapy is over.)

Uni, moving out and anorexia

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