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Didn't feel anything when kissing..?

Hey guys, I'm new here and I've noticed that this forum has people who are quite open, so I was wondering if you could help me out too please??

I feel slightly embarassed admitting this, but I didn't know what to think. I've been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for the past 17 months, but its a long distant relationship. A very long distant :frown:

..but anyway, we recently met in the summer and it was great. I was excited and nervous at the same time, and you know the rest..!

I had my first kiss with him, and like a typical girl I've always had that fantasy that it would be special and perfect and nothing else would matter etc.. (girls you know what I mean?). But the thing is, I didn't feel anything. When I was with him and gave him hugs I didn't feel anything..and at time I even wanted to avoid it. I mean surely thats not right? :frown:

.. I was expecting that moment to be perfect, but everything was right apart from me :frown:

sure I've been in love once before and he broke my heart, but that feeling I had first time round I did not have this time. Maybe its true what they say that love only happens once, the rest is just life? But I've heard so many stories about your first kiss, or any kiss, how it felt and that feeling you have inside of you and so on..I just didn't get any of it and I don't know if thats right?? Maybe those stories are just exagegrated? Can anyone describe they're experience to me, or tell me if there really is meant to be that special "thing" when you kiss..I don't really know if I'm making sense let me know if there is anything you guys didn't understand? I mean, it's not that I don't love him because I do. He's my life, my rock and I need him more than anything, and I definitely want to get married to him (and the lot bla bla).. When im apart from him I want that hug and kiss back and I miss him so much, but when I'm with him I don't feel it..I don't know whats wrong with me? Maybe once you've been in love too deep you can't get that feeling back again coz the rest is just life..? But that whole "kiss" business, what's it really like or is it all just exggerated "love"? I hope I don't sound crazy lol, any advice would do..thanks a lot guys! XxX

Reply 1

undiscovered

13

I remember describing my first kiss as "boring" and I felt nothing. I was worried after this but over a short amount of time it got much more fun. Still, I wouldn't say kissing is amazing (maybe I haven't kissed the right man yet!) but it should be 'nice' and I guess fun in a way. I don't think people feel a special 'feeling' every time they kiss. Do you enjoy it? That's all that really matters and you obviously love him so don't worry.

Reply 2

22KT22

15

I know this sounds weird but maybe you are in love with the idea of him... not necesarily him (sounds really harsh i know but bear with me). when you apart the feeling you expect to get when your kissing him, and the imagination of that moment is what you love. you build it up so much in your mind that it can never meet you expectations. Perhaps it is this that has affected how you feel, if you were to have kissed him with no preconcentions then it may have felt more special, if that makes any sense.

Or as you've suggested maybe you are holding back from feeling that the kiss is anything special to avoid getting hurt, especially since you already have been and subconsciously this is making it feel different. sadly relationships aernt like in fairytales, they dont always mean every moment will be special, and im sure you know they take some work.

Like the above post said, not every kiss is sweep you off your feet and to be honest my first kiss with my bf wasnt anything special but now every kiss/hug means something.

may i just ask where does he live? and how often do you see him?

Reply 3

Anonymou$

OP

2

hmm yeah thanks for your replies, both of them make sense. 22KT22 what you said i guess is right, I think I imagined it too much lol..and "undiscovered" how long have you been with your guy?

Oh he's from Canada, so we go on holiday like yearly or every 2 years.. :frown:

and it's not as if my parents know about us because I'd b dead! So it's really tough..but anyway, thanks you guys I geuss I can sort of make sense out of it now.. x

Reply 4

matt@internet

12

I was drunk when I had my first kiss.

Reply 5

Anonymou$

OP

2

lol, erm I don't drink..but I'm sure you must have had fun! Sorry "undiscovered" I didn't answer your ques about if I had fun lol, well it was weird it was like nothing was new or special and like i said, at times I even wanted to avoid it...and he would say why don't you do it for longer etc. but I didn't say anythnig back because I don't know myself. Well, I guess there's no point of me thinking about it too much and just hope for the best in life! :biggrin:

Thanks for the help guys, I appreciate it! :smile:

Reply 6

randdom

20

Your first kiss won't necessarily be the most amazing thing ever. It can be awquad and can be quite unpleasant especially if both people don't know what they are doing. It gets better. Sometimes the first time you kiss someone you get those butterflies and feel on top of the world and other times you may feel nothing. Keep at it hopefully it will get better and the sparks will come :smile:

Reply 7

Anonymou$

OP

2

Hm guess so, yeah it's just that I've always heard that everyone's first kiss felt like magic etc, so I thought maybe there was something wrong with me lol..hopefully it'll get better! :smile:

Thanks 4 the advice! x

Reply 8

Lateralus

1

I think you've been watching too many Disney films.

Reply 9

Attero Dominatus

Not mine it didn't.

But then she turned out to be a psychotic hellbitch anyhow.

Reply 10

Lady Justice

13

Maybe you WILL get that feeling? I'll be honest, when I had my first kiss with the guy I'm with right now, it didn't feel like anything special, even though I feel like it should have been because its like the first piece of evidence you get regarding how much the other person wants you. And for the next 3 or 4 months, I still didn't feel anything, and I wondered if it meant it was wrong, or that it meant I didn't actually love him. But I do love him and, just recently, since we've grown closer, I really DO get a tingly feeling when we kiss...

In any case, I really hope this is gonna be the case for you too, because even though it ISN'T wrong that you don't feel anything, I know it FEELS like it is wrong.

Reply 11

Anonymou$

OP

2

lmao @ disney films!!! yeah am one of those types that assumes love is perfect and has that whole film ending :P really should stop that.. lol.. "Attero", what happened with your gf? well..guys i was wondering that maybe if I didn't feel anything..then it may be the case that he also did not feel anything? If that makes sense.. ? We've never actually discussed it as he's quite shy about these things, and so am I!! So it becomes a bit awkward, do you think I should bring it up or will it lead to problems??

Reply 12

Miss Mary

14

Hey you know what? This is exactly what happened to me... my first kiss was NOT what I expected, I felt quite embarrased and I wanted it to end quick. I think it's normal for the first kiss not to be the best, but at the moment I felt so sad... I expected to be sooo perfect and romantic, but it was not! Partly because during the kiss I realised that I didn't love the guy.
anyway, i moved on, don't worry about it. You'll get plenty of chances to kiss and feel good about it.

Reply 13

Sanity Panda

I'm going to have to go with the idea of being in love with him, especially if it's long distance. I can't tell whether this is one of those relationship that started online, how long have you spent together exactly?

But I like to think that it could have just been because of nervousness and not being used to it. The first time I hugged a close friend of mine, I was sort of in limbo of oh... I'm hugging someone. xP

Next time I did it, I was sort of more prepared thus there was more of an emotional thing.

Reply 14

KaramelRose

13

I've NEVER felt "anything" like butterflies or anything when I've kissed a guy... it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, but I know what you mean - I feel like I ought to. I feel like maybe I don't like the guy enough or I'm just not very good... but I think you just have to ignore those insecurities!

I've only had one REALLY bad kiss with a guy, and I swear to God... he was awful. I think I actually had on a facial expression that clearly read "Oh my god, are you kidding me?"

Turned out he's gay so maybe that was why!

Reply 15

tootsies

11

Am I right in thinking that you have only seen this guy a handful of times?

Reply 16

Anonymou$

OP

2

I do love him a lot but that kiss gave me doubts. No it definitely isn't a relationship that started online, I've been "with" him for 17 months and we've only met in the summer holidays! that was for 5-6 weeks.. :frown:

Hopefully he'll be coming to England these summer holidays as well! WEll, he told me that it was his first kiss too, so maybe it down to the fact that none of us are USED to it as well? There are so many factors that can explain to it actually, dunno why i was a bit confused lol.

Reply 17

Sanity Panda

snow_white_dntwry

But at the moment I felt so sad... I expected to be sooo perfect and romantic, but it was not! Partly because during the kiss I realised that I didn't love the guy.

KaramelRose

I've NEVER felt "anything" like butterflies or anything when I've kissed a guy... it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, but I know what you mean - I feel like I ought to. I feel like maybe I don't like the guy enough or I'm just not very good... but I think you just have to ignore those insecurities!

Karmel, I know exactly what you mean. With all the media and people talking about it, you start to think whether it means something in the relationship. Unfortunately it sounds like it snowwhite's case that it was wrong...

Confuses the hell out of me for sure >.<