The Student Room Group

Am I too mean?

So about four times this term guys who look roughly my age ask me for my number/snapchat/instagram and every single time I've refused to only because I don't see the point. A few days ago I was out with a friend and it happened again when I was out in London, but this guy seemed nicer than the other guys that usually approach me as he actually seemed upset when I didn't give my social media out. At the time I didn't think about it too much as it has happened before, but my friend brought it up again today and maybe I wasn't very nice. The guys that approach me are quite attractive, but I am in year 11 and I am currently doing my gcse mocks and I didn't feel bothered about getting to know anyone.

My friend is a strong believer of karma so she said that the reasons that none of the guys I ever have crushes on work out is because the people I reject the people that I could possibly have a relationship with. I don't believe in karma or anything but is it strange or unusual to refuse to give guys my social media that its considered mean? Should I just give the next guy that approached me my snapchat or something and see how it goes?

Sorry, I know its long but I really wanted an unbiased opinion on my situation.
Good point, focus on your GCSES, they are more important.

Edit: Boys, stop chasing skirts and focus on your GCSES/ ALEVELS/ UNIVERCITY
(edited 6 years ago)
Don't listen to your friend.

You've got your priorities sorted. Stick to them.
If you don't want to bother with getting to know people right now because you have other things to think about then it's not mean, you're allowed to say no. You don't owe them 'niceness' or anything, as long as you're being polite and thoughtful when you turn them down then you're fine. Good luck of your GCSE's!
No of course not! You don't have to give your social media out to anyone, especially if it's close to GCSEs. No one should try to make you give social media out, especially not people who are practically strangers. It's your choice
Original post by Anonymous
So about four times this term guys who look roughly my age ask me for my number/snapchat/instagram and every single time I've refused to only because I don't see the point. A few days ago I was out with a friend and it happened again when I was out in London, but this guy seemed nicer than the other guys that usually approach me as he actually seemed upset when I didn't give my social media out. At the time I didn't think about it too much as it has happened before, but my friend brought it up again today and maybe I wasn't very nice. The guys that approach me are quite attractive, but I am in year 11 and I am currently doing my gcse mocks and I didn't feel bothered about getting to know anyone.

My friend is a strong believer of karma so she said that the reasons that none of the guys I ever have crushes on work out is because the people I reject the people that I could possibly have a relationship with. I don't believe in karma or anything but is it strange or unusual to refuse to give guys my social media that its considered mean? Should I just give the next guy that approached me my snapchat or something and see how it goes?

Sorry, I know its long but I really wanted an unbiased opinion on my situation.


Its absolutely fine. If you arent interested because you have other priorities, then it is 100% fine. Your friends is speaking nonsense.
Original post by Anonymous
The guys that approach me are quite attractive, but I am in year 11 and I am currently doing my gcse mocks and I didn't feel bothered about getting to know anyone.


No it's not mean at all, you know your priorities. You're 16, enjoy yourself whilst being young. Don't worry, you will find a partner. Regarding as to what your friend said, I don't think it's particularly true because after all, relationships end at some point no matter what your age is. Your qualifications are more important than being in a relationship right now.

Also, you don't know what the those four guys intentions were.

Original post by Anonymous
Should I just give the next guy that approached me my snapchat or something and see how it goes?.


That's just a bit creepy in my honest opinion. And so what if you refuse to give those guys your social media? It's your privacy at the end of the day.

Original post by Anonymous
and see how it goes?.


Peer pressure from your friend?
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 7
Stick with what you want to do. Turning people away isn't a bad thing.
Reply 8
Thank you, everything that all of you are saying makes sense and I should de focusing on my gcse's. Its just the reactions that I got at lunch today from my friends were as if I committed a crime. I will just continue my life as normal. 😊
Reply 9
Original post by ManLike007
Peer pressure from your friend?


I never really saw it that way. I guess that after everyone saying 'why would you do that?!' I decided to rethink my past decisions. But I now feel reassured that I am happy about them.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you, everything that all of you are saying makes sense and I should de focusing on my gcse's. Its just the reactions that I got at lunch today from my friends were as if I committed a crime. I will just continue my life as normal. 😊


i agree with the above comments, focus on you now, and then after exams you can relax! theres really no rush to get into a relationship just now, some classmates still havent had bf (yr 13) and some only recently got into a relationship so dont rush it its fine :smile::smile:

forgive my old-fashion-ness, is it just me who finds it creepy to hand out my number/ social media info to random strangers i meet out?

EDIT: if they're the one, then you'll cross paths again, if not it's not meant to be. no point wasting a broken heart this early xx
Original post by sfaraj

forgive my old-fashion-ness, is it just me who finds it creepy to hand out my number/ social media info to random strangers i meet out?


I honestly thought the same thing when it first happened. I guess that's why I'm so reluctant to give my social media out to anyone.
It's not mean at all! guys aren't entitled to your social media profile, I think its better to say no straight away anyway as you aren't interested and if you did give it to them they'd just message you and it would be distracting/annoying.
I would never give my details/profile out to a stranger anyway 😯
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
I honestly thought the same thing when it first happened. I guess that's why I'm so reluctant to give my social media out to anyone.


i can see it being ok if you know the person for a while, or meet spontaneously but have a conversation and get to know them properly and therefore know they aren't a sociopath but just bumping into each other on the bus for the first time is kinda a red light for me

once i was walking home and this guy on a motorbike (must've been a similar age to my brothers who are 7-10 years older than me) slowed down on his bike and kept trying to talk to me, i kept my earphones in and ignored him

guys aren't important rn, focus on school and just let it happen naturally i guess GOOD LUCK WITH EXAMS!!
Original post by sfaraj

guys aren't important rn, focus on school and just let it happen naturally i guess GOOD LUCK WITH EXAMS!!


Thanks
I think you have every right not ti give out your social media to any one whether or not they seem upset. If they were that intrested in you, they'd try to get to know you in real life rather than stalk your photos
Original post by Blackstarr
Good point, focus on your GCSES, they are more important.

Edit: Boys, stop chasing skirts and focus on your GCSES/ ALEVELS/ UNIVERCITY


You spelt university wrong.

OP you should carry on doing what your doing and focus on life rather than relationships.
why would you give your contact to some random who doesn't even know you? that's not mean it's just sensible
You've got your head screwed on and your priorities straight, it's refreshing to see that when so many people your age are obsessed with getting a boyfriend like it's a competition. Don't ever feel obliged to give out your personal details to people you don't feel comfortable with, if they have any respect for you they'll accept a rejection.

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