Am I a terrible person? :(

I'll try and make this as uncomplicated as possible...
A few weeks ago one of my boy mates told me he really liked. even loved me. I told him that I'm sorry but only like him as a friend and that nothing more will ever happen between us. He asked me out like this 3 times in total and each time I was totally clear I didn't fancy or want to go out with him.

He recently introduced me to his best m8 (they've been m8s since play school) and we all got on great. Basically I went to a party very recently and me and his best m8 got drunk and cuddled and stuff (we didn't kiss though) and his best m8 was all affectionate and stuff.

So obviously he was really gutted by this (the guy who asked me out) and i feel absolutely awful. His best m8 doesnt know he likes me, he didnt tell him.
Me and his best m8 quite like each other and there's some chemistry there, but i dont want to lose my other friend.
Argh what do I do! Am I terrible for getting close to his best m8? I feel like im just guna have to not see either of them ever again help!
Hope this makes sense :s quite complicated

Reply 1

dh00001

16

i dont think youre a terrible person. you dont like your friend so cant pretend to.
i do think you should talk to your friend about how he feels about you and his mate though. see how he would react if more happened between you and the friend

Reply 2

Vampyrcorn

14

i don't think you're terrible, but it's a bit inconsiderate. If his friend was the love of your life I might get it, but people generally think of their friends' feelings as more important than having a crush on someone.
But no, you're not terrible. :p:

Reply 3

Graylilxx

Oh this is such a bad situation, because its not nice to tell the boy you like and who likes you that his best friend asked you out, and yet he is completely in the dark about the whole thing and his friend might get a bit resentful towards him. This might not be the best solution but if I were in your shoes I would leave the whole thing for a little, so at least you can give the guy who likes you the opportunity to get over it or at least 'pretend' he doesn't like you, so that its not such a big deal with you and the friend, and there isn't so much tension. You cant make yourself like the guy and you didn't deliberately fall for his friend so try not to blame yourself x

^^^also as said above, make sure you think long and hard about it, as it might just be a crush or it might be something more, but you may still end up losing a friend over it.

Reply 4

Glutamic Acid

17

*Rewinds 5 years*
Plays part of your boy mate.

Reply 5

Kelly^2

13

You're not terrible, but I think it would be very inconsiderate if you took things further with his best mate. If his best mate tries to bring up the subject just say you're not interested or something like that.

Reply 6

Vampyrcorn

14

Graylilxx

Oh this is such a bad situation, because its not nice to tell the boy you like and who likes you that his best friend asked you out, and yet he is completely in the dark about the whole thing and his friend might get a bit resentful towards him. This might not be the best solution but if I were in your shoes I would leave the whole thing for a little, so at least you can give the guy who likes you the opportunity to get over it or at least 'pretend' he doesn't like you, so that its not such a big deal with you and the friend, and there isn't so much tension. You cant make yourself like the guy and you didn't deliberately fall for his friend so try not to blame yourself x

^^^also as said above, make sure you think long and hard about it, as it might just be a crush or it might be something more, but you may still end up losing a friend over it.

'tis a good point.. if the OP takes it further then not only could she lose her friend but, worst case, he could fall out with his best mate about it too. That wouldn't be nice.

Reply 7

Ang|ophi|e

12

You're not terrible, you're just human. After all, you can't help how you feel. If you ever tried to pursue a relationship with you're friend's friend, wait a while. Your friend must be so hurt right now. Be considerate of his feelings.

Reply 8

randdom

20

Its a difficult situation to be in, obviously you don't want to upset your friend but if you like this guy it is going to be hard not to let anything happen. I think that your best bet is to sit down and talk to your friend about what has happend. Be brutally honest if necessary. Ask him how he feel about you and his friend and whether it is going to be a problem if something were to happen between the two of you.

If he had a problem with it you might want to cool it down with the guy you like for a bit until your friend has got used to the idea. Hopefully if won't get to the stage where you have to make a decision between the two guys.

Reply 9

jh_1988_england

1

your not terrible, its just ironic, i wouldnt tell your friend you like his best mate though, specially if he told you he loves you recently, but tis up to you at the end of the day, good luck :P

Reply 10

tokyorose888

10

if you like his best mate and he his best mate likes you....go for it

(as for the other guy....he should just find someone else and understnad that he has no chance with you, instead of getting all upset

=)

Reply 11

Jiser

10

Sorry but most of this world have suffered in some sort of way in regards to their 'hearts' being broken. If you get on with this guys mate go for it. Its not your fault than you don't your friend but his mate instead.

Life is a learning process and I am sure you will all learn something from it.

I went out with one of my mates ex's, it only lasted 6 months but hey. It still worked out. You only live once so don't live with regrets and what ifs if you can.

Am I a terrible person? :(

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