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Slept with him for the 1st time and he said it felt...

...like I was more ‘used to it’ down there even though I’ve only done it under 10 times with someone two years ago. He loves me and we’re engaged but his comment hurt me because I’m not sure what he meant.

We weren’t planning to do it before the wedding but it happened and now he thinks I was lying about my past

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He sounds manipulative. Red flags! Be careful.
Original post by Anonymous
...like I was more ‘used to it’ down there even though I’ve only done it under 10 times with someone two years ago. He loves me and we’re engaged but his comment hurt me because I’m not sure what he meant.

We weren’t planning to do it before the wedding but it happened and now he thinks I was lying about my past


Break it off with him if deemed neccessary these are small warning signs you need to be looking at
Reply 3
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by studiesandstress
He sounds manipulative. Red flags! Be careful.


Hmm, interesting that you say that. Friends said he seems possessive and controlling even prior to this comment, which I still don’t fully understand
Reply 4
Avatar for Froppy
Froppy
15
Did he mean like you were unexpectedly loose down there or something? >_< Could just be you were very comfortable with him and your body relaxed which is why he found it easier than usual. (Probably the other girls he has been with were nervous / anxious so he had a more difficult time)
The fact that he is saying that, rather than making you feel loved and respected (especially if it is your first time together) is immediately a bad sign. And now you've come away worrying about your past and perhaps worrying about what you've done with your previous partner. That worry and perhaps guilt = a way to control and manipulate you. It means that because he knows you will worry, he can twist it and by the sounds of it, use your past as a way to control you. Which is a MAJOR red flag. Please be careful.
Reply 6
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Airmed
21
He's talking ****, tbh. It doesn't sound good at all. Major red flags.
He sounds like he meant that you were um... loose. He also sounds, at best, dumb as hell. At worst... insane. In-between... a massive ****. My personal feelings are leaning more towards the 'worse' end of the spectrum I've laid out there.

Original post by Anonymous
Hmm, interesting that you say that. Friends said he seems possessive and controlling even prior to this comment, which I still don’t fully understand


What things have made them say that?
I am not sure about all these red flags. It sounds to me he is simply insecure.

However, if it is a pattern of degrading behaviour then you should be concerned.
Original post by Anonymous
...like I was more ‘used to it’ down there even though I’ve only done it under 10 times with someone two years ago. He loves me and we’re engaged but his comment hurt me because I’m not sure what he meant.

We weren’t planning to do it before the wedding but it happened and now he thinks I was lying about my past


You sure you wanna get married to someone who puts you down like that
Original post by Froppy
Did he mean like you were unexpectedly loose down there or something? >_< Could just be you were very comfortable with him and your body relaxed which is why he found it easier than usual. (Probably the other girls he has been with were nervous / anxious so he had a more difficult time)


Original post by Retired_Messiah
He sounds like he meant that you were um... loose. He also sounds, at best, dumb as hell. At worst... insane. In-between... a massive ****. My personal feelings are leaning more towards the 'worse' end of the spectrum I've laid out there.



What things have made them say that?


how’d he like it if I said his u-no-wot was too small. His remark made me feel so weird but he felt so bad and kept reassuring me it’s just him being honest with his thoughts and he doesn’t wanna ever lose me
Original post by Notorious_B.I.G.
I am not sure about all these red flags. It sounds to me he is simply insecure.

However, if it is a pattern of degrading behaviour then you should be concerned.


Original post by Rock Fan
You sure you wanna get married to someone who puts you down like that


I do feel he’s insecure tbh
Original post by studiesandstress
The fact that he is saying that, rather than making you feel loved and respected (especially if it is your first time together) is immediately a bad sign. And now you've come away worrying about your past and perhaps worrying about what you've done with your previous partner. That worry and perhaps guilt = a way to control and manipulate you. It means that because he knows you will worry, he can twist it and by the sounds of it, use your past as a way to control you. Which is a MAJOR red flag. Please be careful.


Original post by choco_monsterxo
Break it off with him if deemed neccessary these are small warning signs you need to be looking at


You guys have really made me think. He even suggested moving wedding dates closer so we can get married quicker so he clearly still likes me but does get a bit too honest at times
Original post by Anonymous
how’d he like it if I said his u-no-wot was too small. His remark made me feel so weird but he felt so bad and kept reassuring me it’s just him being honest with his thoughts and he doesn’t wanna ever lose me


You don't "be honest with your thoughts" right after the first time having sex with your partner unless you have the social awareness of an iceberg lettuce.

Spoiler

Original post by Anonymous
You guys have really made me think. He even suggested moving wedding dates closer so we can get married quicker so he clearly still likes me but does get a bit too honest at times


He must be a young lad for he is yet to learn that you never tell your partner what you're actually thinking. It is a recipe for disaster.

You say the right things to make them happy. It is a legal fiction we all participate in.
Original post by Anonymous
You guys have really made me think. He even suggested moving wedding dates closer so we can get married quicker so he clearly still likes me but does get a bit too honest at times


Why does he wanna get married quicker? He should wait until you’re ready?you have to ask yourself can you see yourself living with this guy whose comments have put you down like this especially more due to the fact that hes previously been dishonest. You have to ask yourself why’s he been dishonest. If he legitely loves you he wouldnt lie to you no matter what, without the trust there is no relationship. Its all good saying he loves you but do his actions show otherwise?
Reply 16
Avatar for Froppy
Froppy
15
Original post by Anonymous
how’d he like it if I said his u-no-wot was too small. His remark made me feel so weird but he felt so bad and kept reassuring me it’s just him being honest with his thoughts and he doesn’t wanna ever lose me


eh? o_0 I'm not excusing his actions, the guy sounds quite inconsiderate. Just giving my theory on what his words could have meant since you said "his comment hurt me because I’m not sure what he meant."

If you said he had a small pee pee then naturally he should be offended... unless he's denser than I thought! xD

Like i said before I think he isn't used to being with someone who is so relaxed during sex so maybe expected it to be tighter. He's also a lil derpy to suspect you of lying about your past since intercourse does NOT permanently stretch the vagina no matter how often the woman has sex.
Original post by Anonymous
Hmm, interesting that you say that. Friends said he seems possessive and controlling even prior to this comment, which I still don’t fully understand

For starters, he hasn't got a clue what he's talking about. A (horse riding) virgin that's fully emotionally and physically ready for sex may well feel "loose" down there.

And when you add your friends opinion of him, the best thing you can do is: DUMP HIM NOW!
Original post by Retired_Messiah
You don't "be honest with your thoughts" right after the first time having sex with your partner unless you have the social awareness of an iceberg lettuce.

Spoiler




Soz babes. Basically he hates me talking to other guy friends who I’ve known for years, he tries going through my phone if he can and other petty things, but his actions do prove he loves me and he does so much for me and spends as much of his free time with me as I allow. It’s just his brutal honesty about everything that makes me wonder
Original post by Notorious_B.I.G.
He must be a young lad for he is yet to learn that you never tell your partner what you're actually thinking. It is a recipe for disaster.

You say the right things to make them happy. It is a legal fiction we all participate in.


He defends himself everytime by saying would you rather have someone who hides their feelings? And makes me feel like his honesty is always the best policy

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