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Green Eyed MONSTER

So I had an argument with my boyfriend last night and a lot of hurtful things were said, but mainly I've come to realize just how jealous a person I can be. I'm not proud of it and really really wish I could alter or change my personality somehow.

Does anyone relate, or were you in a relationship where your bf/gf was just ridiculously jealous and/or possessive of you. What did you do, or how did you act. Is there anything I can do to better myself?

I know that most of my jealousy is rooted in my insecurities. I also realize that sometimes my behavior is just totally unacceptable, but the thing is I don't come to that point till after I reacted negatively. Are there any active techniques I could use in order to better control my green eyed monster or dissipitate (sp?) my anger.

Thanks

Reply 1

I_L_S

6

with age i've been a lot calmer & got less jealous. i do get my moments still but walking away and reasoning with myself is the best thing i can do.

Reply 2

Somewhat Damaged

Any girl that talks to my guy, I'd love to rip their eyes out.

I'm an extremely jealous person.
But I don't openly act upon it.I might go sulk and bitch to myself about it. But just don't let him know it bothers me etc.

Then i'm not pushing him closer to the girls, or seeming like i'm pushing him away.

:smile:

Works for me, though he knows how jealous I am. But as he doesn't see it to the extent that it is, he doesn't mind, and just reassures me.

Reply 3

ssk2

10

Any girl that talks to my guy, I'd love to rip their eyes out.

Wow, really?

Reply 4

JC.

19

ex fiance was a bit weird...
Told her I was going to take a mate and his bird out for a beer because it was his birthday.
That started a row

Apparently "only single guys go out to bars" right...
Turned out she was the one going behind my back all along. The jelous ones should be suspected...

Reply 5

Jett

My mother is extremely jealous, insecure and possessive. To the point where she's dragged the whole family through 5 months of pure hell, my father isn't much better really... he clings to her just as much. Either way, it's a very volatile relationship and it not only is pushing them to the brink of madness, attempted suicides and violence it's affecting everyone around them.

Her excuse? "I'm a product of my upbringing". Bull****, a terrible cop out. Stop being a victim and do something about it now before you wind up mental like my mum.... ahaha, worst case scenario :biggrin:

Reply 6

Ginger_Rogers

7

I've always been incredibly jealous, though in my defence, it's never been unfounded. My last ex used to moan about my jealousy, but was still sleeping with a whore bag from his uni :p:

, so my jealousy turned out understandable in the end!

God help my next boyfriend though. Every relationship I've had I've been cheated on...I'll constantly be suspecting them of it too, no doubt.

Reply 7

Truman

3

Im crazily jealous. i just try and be thankful that im with my gf and remind myself that i really love her and that il lose here if i keep letting irrational jealousy get between us. Also i try not to let he know when im jealous, unless i have good reason too. I think i can tell whem im being jealous for a reason and just jealous cause im a bit of a nutter.

Reply 8

Jiser

10

Jett

My mother is extremely jealous, insecure and possessive. To the point where she's dragged the whole family through 5 months of pure hell, my father isn't much better really... he clings to her just as much. Either way, it's a very volatile relationship and it not only is pushing them to the brink of madness, attempted suicides and violence it's affecting everyone around them.

Her excuse? "I'm a product of my upbringing". Bull****, a terrible cop out. Stop being a victim and do something about it now before you wind up mental like my mum.... ahaha, worst case scenario :biggrin:

One of my ex friends now crazy bf of my sister for 3 years is all that which u described. I agree totally. Hes just started councelling/ w/e if that will help. My best mate went through the same ****, but had to move over 2000 miles from his dad with his mum and bro sis where he grew up. He was 10 and didnt see his dad for 3 years. Hes completely cool.

Reply 9

Graylilxx

I don't think my boyfriend would ever cheat on me and I never feel that insecure, but I do still get a bit jealous sometimes. There was one girl who was in his class, and she just wouldn't leave him alone. She would be there waiting for him to walk to class with her when i was trying to say goodbye to him (which normally i wouldn't mind, but you know when you just tell, they are doing it to try and get one up on you) and she would tell him how I didn't like her, i had never even spoken to her. It was just like just back off b***ch, he's mine. I wasn't jealous tho because i mean she was noticable but it was in a 'greasy bleach, blonde, I have no idea what style or personality is' type of way.But it did annoy me

Reply 10

The Bishman

8

My ex was jelous and insecure. It turned into her questioning me whenever girls who knew talked to me in front of her.

I got interogated on girls I had been friends with from when I was about 5 years old...do you fancy her? is she better than me? have you done anything with her? why are you with me instead of her? then having a go and not speaking to me.

I left her. Took me a year but I left her. She made me unhappy.

Reply 11

thebarmaidsmiles

I've been on both sides of the umm..fence? lol ok didn't think that one through..

I've been in two long relationships - the first one I was with an extremely jealous and posessive guy who drove me up the wall, cut me off from my friends and questioned my every move.

I'm more recently with another fella and it's the other way around, I get very jealous of girls talking with him and get suspicious when he goes out/acts all evasive.

I think the recent jealousy is definately a product of the previous relationship - my current bf not questioning me or coming across as particularly phased whenever I went out made me very confused. I then went and overcompensated by getting suspicious of him...

Gah jealousy is a horrible horrible thing, and I don't think there's necessarily any 'cure'. this time around I'm far more honest and straightforward than with the first guy. I don't lead people on, or let them believe I'm single just so they'll talk to me (yes 16 year old me did that...) I'll make it clear from the outset with strangers. I think as long as you're clear and honest yourself, you can only hope he does the same. If he doesn't then fine, mve on. chances are the more openess and honesty you project, the more he'll follow suit.

You can't kill the green eyed monster, but you can stick him in the corner with a gameboy and pretend he's not there...

Reply 12

ocpaul20

8

Jealousy is just an emotion that is running out of control. You can easily sort out any excessive emotion with Emotional Freedom Technique(EFT). It involves tapping on acupuncture points on the face, hands and upper body. Wierd and unbelievable, I know, but it works. This is absolutely nothing to do with me, I dont get any money, not my web site, not my friends web site either. I just know it works. www.emofree.com. The best thing is the manual is FREE and takes only a few minutes to learn too. Anyway, hope it helps someone. You can use it for all excessive emotions.

Reply 13

Flamin Nora

7

Somewhat Damaged

Any girl that talks to my guy, I'd love to rip their eyes out.

I'm an extremely jealous person.
But I don't openly act upon it.I might go sulk and bitch to myself about it. But just don't let him know it bothers me etc.

Then i'm not pushing him closer to the girls, or seeming like i'm pushing him away.

:smile:

Works for me, though he knows how jealous I am. But as he doesn't see it to the extent that it is, he doesn't mind, and just reassures me.

I'm also extremely jealous, even though there's absolutely no need to be.
I tend to just bottle it all up and take it out on my little teddy bear etc lol. It does actually work. As far as my boyfriend's concerned I'm not the jealous type at all, but I think at some point all that stored anger will explode out one day. :s-smilie:

I'm hoping it doesn't though lol.

Green Eyed MONSTER

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