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Can i be friends with my Ex?
i split up with my ex 1 month ago, after an almost 3 year long relationship. we didnt speak for a little while and about 6 months ago we started chatting again.
i have since got a new boyfriend, who i am totally in love with... but would it be wrong of me to be friends with my ex?? there is no attraction between me and the ex anymore... but then i guess if my boyfriend was good friends with his ex.. id be pretty p***ed off...
is this best left alone... or is it ok to be friends with him??
i have since got a new boyfriend, who i am totally in love with... but would it be wrong of me to be friends with my ex?? there is no attraction between me and the ex anymore... but then i guess if my boyfriend was good friends with his ex.. id be pretty p***ed off...
is this best left alone... or is it ok to be friends with him??
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How would your new boyfriend feel?
It shouldn't be a major problem, although if he'd be really against the idea... then it's something to think hard about.
It shouldn't be a major problem, although if he'd be really against the idea... then it's something to think hard about.
jsfrb78wbrushdf
dont do it -.-
it'll introduce a new level of PAIN into your life
from my experience as a guy it ends badly for the guy, women seem to hold onto emotional ties more then men =/
but im just bitter cause 2 of my exs left me for exs when i said it was fine for them to talk to them cause i thought they wouldnt.... anyway =D
first, do you trust him? is he in it to rekindle something? second, whats your bf think? will it affect your relationship? last thing, do you trust yourself? can you see feelings growing for him or your feelings for your bf changing because of this friendship?
dont do it -.-
it'll introduce a new level of PAIN into your life
from my experience as a guy it ends badly for the guy, women seem to hold onto emotional ties more then men =/
but im just bitter cause 2 of my exs left me for exs when i said it was fine for them to talk to them cause i thought they wouldnt.... anyway =D
first, do you trust him? is he in it to rekindle something? second, whats your bf think? will it affect your relationship? last thing, do you trust yourself? can you see feelings growing for him or your feelings for your bf changing because of this friendship?
i know i wouldnt go back... ever, the reason for this is because now im with my new boyfriend ive realised everything me and my ex never had.
it finished a long time ago.. and if im honest, in the last year of the relationship there was nothing left (emotionally) anymore anyway. i trust my ex not to come onto me, and i would not let myself get into a situation where that would be possible. hes recently joined my gym, and so im thinking, wat the hell, ill go to the gym with him, it wud be nice to catch up, just like any of my other friends.
i dont think my boyfriend would be happy, but i want him to trust me, how can i let him know how i feel, and let him know there is nothing left for my ex anymore apart from friendship?
it finished a long time ago.. and if im honest, in the last year of the relationship there was nothing left (emotionally) anymore anyway. i trust my ex not to come onto me, and i would not let myself get into a situation where that would be possible. hes recently joined my gym, and so im thinking, wat the hell, ill go to the gym with him, it wud be nice to catch up, just like any of my other friends.
i dont think my boyfriend would be happy, but i want him to trust me, how can i let him know how i feel, and let him know there is nothing left for my ex anymore apart from friendship?
To be honest, from past experiences, friendship with an ex almost always brings out the green eyed monster in a new relationship!! I was only with my ex for six months and have been with my now boyf for 3 years- and he is still jealous if I so much a say hey to my ex in a bar......I think it's a question of whether you can deal with the repercussions from your new boyfriend!! After a while I decided it wasn't worth jeopising love for friendship....
going to the gym alone aint the best way to be honest
imagine your bf going somewhere with his ex alone... regularly? how would you feel
hes likely to say he doesnt mind, to let you know he trusts you but at the end of the when hes sitting at home bored alone and your out with you ex, hes not gonna feel fine
so follow these rules
1) never cancel on your bf for you ex
2) if you bf asks you to cancel on your ex, do it!
3) if you with your bf, avoid spending too much time on the phone/ texting your ex or if you're all together, dont ignore your bf for your ex
4) if you ever leave your bf for or due to you ex god help you women....
oh and it helps if he knows he means more to you then your ex does, hard to explain this, dont over compensate for being mates with your ex, just make sure he knows who you are really like more =D
and dont lie... even if its a little thing, just dont lie -.-
hope things turn out okay =]
imagine your bf going somewhere with his ex alone... regularly? how would you feel
hes likely to say he doesnt mind, to let you know he trusts you but at the end of the when hes sitting at home bored alone and your out with you ex, hes not gonna feel fine
so follow these rules
1) never cancel on your bf for you ex
2) if you bf asks you to cancel on your ex, do it!
3) if you with your bf, avoid spending too much time on the phone/ texting your ex or if you're all together, dont ignore your bf for your ex
4) if you ever leave your bf for or due to you ex god help you women....
oh and it helps if he knows he means more to you then your ex does, hard to explain this, dont over compensate for being mates with your ex, just make sure he knows who you are really like more =D
and dont lie... even if its a little thing, just dont lie -.-
hope things turn out okay =]
i'd say it's fine. just handle it in the right way. my ex is actually my best friend now, and my boyfriend doesn't mind because he's seen us together and seen that all there is there is friendship. if you do stuff with this guy always give your boyfriend the choice to come along - chances are he wont but it will make him feel more confident you're not up to anything.
i guess though, it's really a question of how your boyfriend will react as to whether you can or not, not whether you or anyone else thinks it's ok.
i guess though, it's really a question of how your boyfriend will react as to whether you can or not, not whether you or anyone else thinks it's ok.
Been there, tried that ... didn't work! Tried again ... didn't work... tried again... didn't work! Huge mistake to think that it ever could!
In fact, it caused problems in my new relationship as my boyfriend was annoyed that I wanted to be friends with him as he couldn't see why after everything that had happened ... nor can I now! I wouldn't jeopardise your new boyfriend for an ex!
In fact, it caused problems in my new relationship as my boyfriend was annoyed that I wanted to be friends with him as he couldn't see why after everything that had happened ... nor can I now! I wouldn't jeopardise your new boyfriend for an ex!
jjeess333
ur right there. which makes things even more confusing. cant i have friendship and love? god, this is frustrating
of course you can!
im best friends with a girl, with NO sexual attraction
shes like my sister, thats just wrong
and none of my gfs ever mind, okay a few did but with no justification =P
I don't believe it's possible from personal experience to be friends with an ex really even if it's not a messy split.
but i guess that u havent had a relationship with this girl before? its really difficult... and miss brightside, ur right, maybe my boyfriend would get p***ed off, but i want him to understand that there is nothing there any more. just friendship.
i know my boyfriend wouldnt be 100% happy, but wud probably pretend he wasnt so bothered for a little while... i would speak with him about it, but it might cause an argument, and i dont want that
i know my boyfriend wouldnt be 100% happy, but wud probably pretend he wasnt so bothered for a little while... i would speak with him about it, but it might cause an argument, and i dont want that
jjeess333
but i guess that u havent had a relationship with this girl before? its really difficult... and miss brightside, ur right, maybe my boyfriend would get p***ed off, but i want him to understand that there is nothing there any more. just friendship.
i know my boyfriend wouldnt be 100% happy, but wud probably pretend he wasnt so bothered for a little while... i would speak with him about it, but it might cause an argument, and i dont want that
i know my boyfriend wouldnt be 100% happy, but wud probably pretend he wasnt so bothered for a little while... i would speak with him about it, but it might cause an argument, and i dont want that
I think your boyfriend will understand that there is nothing there any more, but even so, I think it'd cause problems. Like my boyfriend thought that my ex was an idiot and was utterly horrible to me (he was!) so thats why he didn't want me to have anything to do with him, and I was like no, things are different etc. And we'd end up arguing!
Why jeopardise a good relationship with a blast from the past?
no, it will never work, one person always wants more than the other.... usually the male
joeydeacon
no, it will never work, one person always wants more than the other.... usually the male
That's true but, I would it's about equal.
i just want to be there for him like i used to be, we used to get on, and hes a shy person so i liked tht he felt like he had someone to talk too.
i would never let, or want, anything to go further than friendship,its just diffcult to be like -right thats it, im going to stop all contact with him- when i would never do that to one of my other friends. but i dont kno how to explain that to my boyfriend, because same with u, miss brightside, we wud probably end up arguing. its just letting go of someone i feel im really close friends with, i cnt imagine loosing one of my girly friends, and i value him in exactly the sme way.
i would never let, or want, anything to go further than friendship,its just diffcult to be like -right thats it, im going to stop all contact with him- when i would never do that to one of my other friends. but i dont kno how to explain that to my boyfriend, because same with u, miss brightside, we wud probably end up arguing. its just letting go of someone i feel im really close friends with, i cnt imagine loosing one of my girly friends, and i value him in exactly the sme way.
joeydeacon
no, it will never work, one person always wants more than the other.... usually the male
that's really not true. I only have male friends and loads of them have never had any feelings for me past friendship, and vice versa.
only a few of them have ever mentioned anything and i suspect it's only because i'm the only girl they know how to talk to - not because they genuinely like me.
plus in this case, its people who know that it wont work, so they're less likely to have feelings for each other imo.
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