Is this silly-about love

Me and my boyfriend said "i love you" to each other the other day-but we made it clear that we didn't mean that we were in love-but you know how you love your friends-but that still we were obviously falling in love and it's gonna happen soon-cuz we are falling fast. We were lying in bed and i just kept wanting to say i love you-so i finally said it-with a clarification of what i meant....and he said it back-and not cause i said it either.

My friend thinks that we are ridiculous-and that we shouldn't say "i love you" until we are in love....anyone agree?

Anyone else felt/feel the same way as me and my bf do?

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

RosiePosiePuddingAndPie

I think you can love someone, without being IN love with someone :smile:

So I think what you were saying made sense.

It's like.. I love my friends, but I'm not in love with them, because that implies romance and passion, which I obviously don't have with my friends :smile:

Reply 2

Rhys.

Personally, I would wait until I knew I was in love but there's no harm in it if you both know what the intentions behind it were.

Reply 3

AC:D

i actually agree with your friend.
dont say it unless you mean it.
those three words mean a lot more than people realise in my opinion...

Reply 4

pink_192

i was best friends with my boyfriend for ages before we started goin out and we say 'i love you' for about a year before we went out, we didnt mean it in the literal sense at that point so i guess was kind of the same situation.

Reply 5

Sapphire_Eyes

you can love someone and then fall further in love and become in love with each other

my bf said i love you before we started going out and i felt like that and then further in i fell in love with him and then he did as well

Reply 6

ßlαcksωαn

I think it was a bit silly..

Reply 7

loopymeg

If it works for you two, then go for it. Some couples feel the need to say it every day, other couples may say it on occasion, and some may never say it because it's reflected in actions. As long as you both know the intended meaning and you're both happy with it, then ignore everyone else.

Reply 8

fairycakes

no i know exactly what you mean. i think it's hard to be 'in love' until a significant amount of time has past and there is a great deal more security and trust in the relationship. i think you need to know each other a lot better, and be confident about the future with each other too.

i really wanted to say it to my bf yesterday. but i know it's not real love. it's just a lot of caring, lust, just loving spending time with him, and all the things that i love about our relationship, but it's still not LOVE...

Reply 9

JC.

I loved my dog when she was alive, but I certainly wasn't in love with her.

Reply 10

SuperVictoria64

I would never say "I love you" to someone unless I was in love with them. But if you and your boyfriend are aware of the circumstances (love, but not 'in' love) and are fine with it - then that's great. :smile:

Everyone's different, I suppose. Love's a serious matter that should only be verbalized with genuine intentions.

Reply 11

Fleece

I'd be a bit pissed off actually if someone said "I love you...................but only like FRIENDS love each other, I'm not actually IN love with you, get me?"

Reply 12

theredwindmill

I love my friends, but i only really say "I love you" when i am in love with somebody, also i agree with fleece, if my boyfriend said i love you but only in a friend way i would be abit annoyed.

Reply 13

ocpaul20

I have to say that girls think differently to guys/men/boys/blokes/whatever. Particularly where sex is involved.

What is love anyway? You only know that when you are there, and it means different things to different people. When it boils down to it, it is fear of commitment that stops you saying 'I love you'. You must be afraid that it will mean that you have a responsibility to be something you are not, or to act in a different way. Also, other people expect a difference from someone who is 'in love' too.

Reply 14

suicidal_dream

you both have the same understanding so neither of you should get hurt by it =]

i tell my puppy i loves him.. and my mummy... i love my mum but i'm not in love with her...

totally different to the love i have with my boyfriend!

Reply 15

randomgirl

Fleece

I'd be a bit pissed off actually if someone said "I love you...................but only like FRIENDS love each other, I'm not actually IN love with you, get me?"

haha yep.

But if it works for you and your bf OP, then fair enough. It's your relationship, if it makes you both happy then it isn't harming anyone. :smile:

Reply 16

matt@internet

I love my friends, but I'm not in love with them. Nothing wrong with what you said, as long as you both know whereabouts you are.

Reply 17

lady_n

Everyone has a different definition of love and categorises it in a different way. I think there are many kinds of love when it comes to people. I love my family in a different way to I love my friends. and the love i've felt for my boyfriend has changed over the years.

I told my boyfriend I loved him about 8 months into our relationship, but thinking back it was probably just loving him like a friend but more.

We didnt push each other into saying it, but it felt the right time for both of us to say that, even if we wernt "in love" at the time.

Now we feel like we're "in love" and it does feel different to the beginning of the relationship (that was 2 years ago). Its one of the most difficult things to describe.

Reply 18

Ashes_to_Ashes

That's the thing- how do you even know? It annoys me when people say 'you just know', then again, perhaps there is no way to describe it. :s-smilie:

Reply 19

dh00001

when you say i love you you should truely mean it. if you say it and your partner mistranslates it it culd cause a lot of hurt. but i suppose providing both of you know where you stand its down to you