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Don't miss uni or my friends over there
Keep anon cos I know my friends lurk on here.
I am off university, decided to travel, I will be going back in september and frankly although life is crap without a degree, I don't miss university at all.
I find that the culture at university is so fickle and involves drinking, looking good and shagging or getting off with women. Otherwise you'll get massive peer pressure especially as a guy.
I found that (...I go to a top 30 uni if anyone wonders) if you go against the grain, and just study, you become very unpopular and quite lonely. Amazingly, I found that at university (and I do study a very difficult subject) I became stupider as a result of following the grain; although I was popular and it felt good - something had to give way. Academically, I have underperformed i.e. instead of getting 1sts I would get 2:1s or 2:2s. in my modules.
Now looking back, I kinda do not want to go back. I know that once I go back, I will get so much rubbish for studying constantly and for the degree I do, I have to work consistantly as it is easy to fall behind. I just feel as though, it is not a great learning environment either, there are too many distractions and seeing that I want to get the highest mark possible, I'm unsure of returning.
Anyone else feel like this?
I am off university, decided to travel, I will be going back in september and frankly although life is crap without a degree, I don't miss university at all.
I find that the culture at university is so fickle and involves drinking, looking good and shagging or getting off with women. Otherwise you'll get massive peer pressure especially as a guy.
I found that (...I go to a top 30 uni if anyone wonders) if you go against the grain, and just study, you become very unpopular and quite lonely. Amazingly, I found that at university (and I do study a very difficult subject) I became stupider as a result of following the grain; although I was popular and it felt good - something had to give way. Academically, I have underperformed i.e. instead of getting 1sts I would get 2:1s or 2:2s. in my modules.
Now looking back, I kinda do not want to go back. I know that once I go back, I will get so much rubbish for studying constantly and for the degree I do, I have to work consistantly as it is easy to fall behind. I just feel as though, it is not a great learning environment either, there are too many distractions and seeing that I want to get the highest mark possible, I'm unsure of returning.
Anyone else feel like this?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
What the hell does "top 30 uni" mean? Where are you studying?
Personally, I'm at uni and I find the work ethic great. The only thing that's not great is my own work ethic, but that'll sort itself out gradually. Just don't allow yourself to be distracted. Go to the library; work in the mornings and afternoons, maybe take the evenings off and have a social life too. Apart from your own motivation and dedication, I don't see the problem.
Personally, I'm at uni and I find the work ethic great. The only thing that's not great is my own work ethic, but that'll sort itself out gradually. Just don't allow yourself to be distracted. Go to the library; work in the mornings and afternoons, maybe take the evenings off and have a social life too. Apart from your own motivation and dedication, I don't see the problem.
put your degree first.. what's a little bit of stick compared with success and the job you want in the future?
you can find a balance.. you don't have to be a complete jack the lad to be accepted..
you can find a balance.. you don't have to be a complete jack the lad to be accepted..
Reply 4
Adon
Aren't there any people on your course that are equally as dedicated to their studies? If you find such people, I'm sure they'd be more accepting of your approach to uni life.
Yeah I am sure there are some, they just seem to be incredibly introverted. I think I will make more of an effort with them next time I am at university. I have also noticed that other people that study a science tend to have a different work ethic, as opposed to arts students over there.
The problem I have is that I have normally always got randomly allocated with other students, and with the art students anyway their work ethic seems to suck. So, they really pressurise you to socialize etc. The flat I was in last year for example, was annoying - for example if I stayed in my room for hours on end, my flatmates would bitch - "oh your always in your room" etc. Other examples, if their are parties set up e.g. someones birthday party or house parties, if I would say "no I can't go", it wouldn't go down favourably and again behind your back they would bitch.
Unfortunantly I don't have many good friends that are scientists, despite studying maths/physics, only ever really got to known arts students. I have in the past tried to make an effort with some scientists on my course but as I said before they were so introverted.
What, you really are that hard pressed for time to go to a friend's birthday party? If so, something is wrong.
Like generaleb said, work in the mornings and afternoons and have your evenings free to socialise any which way you want. Make sure you're utilising your time as best you can. There's no reason to give up a social life for studying. If you do, then you've not gotten all you should out of university - employers say time and time again that pure academic qualifications alone are not good enough - you need a balance.
Like generaleb said, work in the mornings and afternoons and have your evenings free to socialise any which way you want. Make sure you're utilising your time as best you can. There's no reason to give up a social life for studying. If you do, then you've not gotten all you should out of university - employers say time and time again that pure academic qualifications alone are not good enough - you need a balance.
In my experience, it's near impossible to establish a broad reputation in uni a reasonably sized university. So I don't really see how peer pressure applies. It's not like you have to spend any real time around people you don't want to, or even have to care if people you meet don't like you.
Good point.
Fleece
What, you really are that hard pressed for time to go to a friend's birthday party? If so, something is wrong.
Good point.
Hmm it actually sounds like your friends are the problem? I've had weeks when I just have too much work on & cannot go out at all, but my friends tend to be understanding...of course, you have to balance work & play, otherwise if you stay in week after week then you'll obviously grow apart from your friends.
Maybe decide to go out one or two nights a week and make an effort to organise dinner parties or something as well?
Maybe decide to go out one or two nights a week and make an effort to organise dinner parties or something as well?
Reply 8
i'm starting Uni in Sept at 31, I like to socialise but I'm putting myself in so much debt to finish my education, I have no interest in getting smashed out of my brains every night, I've done enough of that in my life time. If others want to do that, fair play, each to their own. I think you have to approach it with that mind set, you want to go to uni because you actually want a decent future, don't let it bother you if others dont feel the same, their loss.
Reply 9
Fleece
What, you really are that hard pressed for time to go to a friend's birthday party? If so, something is wrong.
Like generaleb said, work in the mornings and afternoons and have your evenings free to socialise any which way you want. Make sure you're utilising your time as best you can. There's no reason to give up a social life for studying. If you do, then you've not gotten all you should out of university - employers say time and time again that pure academic qualifications alone are not good enough - you need a balance.
Like generaleb said, work in the mornings and afternoons and have your evenings free to socialise any which way you want. Make sure you're utilising your time as best you can. There's no reason to give up a social life for studying. If you do, then you've not gotten all you should out of university - employers say time and time again that pure academic qualifications alone are not good enough - you need a balance.
Yeah I tried, but then they have a habit of chucking in assigments every week, plus on top of that I had to do tutorial work for my next tutorial and read around the topic. It was pretty intense.
My earlier years, it was ok, you can handle the work load and social life easily. Just when it gets to 3rd year it becomes difficult; much more demanding. TBH I found it impossible to balance.
I used birthday parties as an example, I think last term I must have went to 10 b/day parties in the space of 3 months.
Ok also yeah, even though I know you do not have to drink (although there is peer pressure to get smashed otherwise again, people will raise their eyebrows at you not drinking), from experience that KOs me for days on end.
Reply 10
L i b
In my experience, it's near impossible to establish a broad reputation in uni a reasonably sized university. So I don't really see how peer pressure applies. It's not like you have to spend any real time around people you don't want to, or even have to care if people you meet don't like you.
I was quite well known.
Reply 11
sorry but that sounds like you're being paranoid tbh - "I was quite well known" - yeah, in your course and perhaps in a few others but you go to uni to meet like-minded people but above all TO GET A DEGREE yes? If people dont like you for who you are screw them tbh.
Anonymous
Yeah I tried, but then they have a habit of chucking in assigments every week, plus on top of that I had to do tutorial work for my next tutorial and read around the topic. It was pretty intense.
My earlier years, it was ok, you can handle the work load and social life easily. Just when it gets to 3rd year it becomes difficult; much more demanding. TBH I found it impossible to balance.
I used birthday parties as an example, I think last term I must have went to 10 b/day parties in the space of 3 months.
Ok also yeah, even though I know you do not have to drink (although there is peer pressure to get smashed otherwise again, people will raise their eyebrows at you not drinking), from experience that KOs me for days on end.
My earlier years, it was ok, you can handle the work load and social life easily. Just when it gets to 3rd year it becomes difficult; much more demanding. TBH I found it impossible to balance.
I used birthday parties as an example, I think last term I must have went to 10 b/day parties in the space of 3 months.
Ok also yeah, even though I know you do not have to drink (although there is peer pressure to get smashed otherwise again, people will raise their eyebrows at you not drinking), from experience that KOs me for days on end.
Who honestly gives a **** about people "raising their eyebrows" at you not drinking?
Reply 13
Danielle89
sorry but that sounds like you're being paranoid tbh - "I was quite well known" - yeah, in your course and perhaps in a few others but you go to uni to meet like-minded people but above all TO GET A DEGREE yes? If people dont like you for who you are screw them tbh.
ditto
Reply 14
My best mate doesnt like to drink and we never raise our eyebrows or pressure her to drink. When Im drunk Im incapable of telling how drunk a person is anyway, as I found out when I was helped to my bed after vomitting one morning by a person who was equally drunk but with a stronger liver lol. Do your own thing, if you try to fit in too hard you will fail because people will inevitably see you as being pretentious. You're going to be with these people for 3/4 years, if you pretend to be something you're not, that picture of yourself is bound to slip and people will resent you for not being honest and yourself around them from the beginning.
I think the general points you're making seem pretty familiar. I find that, although I like a drink, some people took it to the ridiculous. I know people who sit there and drink about 6 cans of super strongbow (that 7.5% stuff, 500ml) - absolutely vile stuff, then they go out and drink 10 bottles, then to the club and several double vodka and cokes. It's ridiculous even by my standards. Thing is, I don't object to getting bladdered once a week, but some people do it literally every night. It isn't as if they actually enjoy being permanently ill either, it's just for attention. I don't really connect with many of the people in my accomodation at all - and the girls are even worse!
Reply 16
I am sort of with you. I have been on leave from university for the past six months and apart from actually working on projects which interest me, I honestly haven't missed university at all. Taking the time out really made me appericate how much my degree means to me and what I really want to do with my life so I am really looking forward to going back and getting stuck in.
Socially though, I am a reject (always have been). I don't have any friends at university. My department is quite small and I don't really click with anyone in it. I'd say I am "a ghost" in my department. However, right now my degree is more important to me so I am going back to study. If I get the chance to make a few friends then great otherwise that's life.
Not much help I suppose, but just know your not alone.
Socially though, I am a reject (always have been). I don't have any friends at university. My department is quite small and I don't really click with anyone in it. I'd say I am "a ghost" in my department. However, right now my degree is more important to me so I am going back to study. If I get the chance to make a few friends then great otherwise that's life.
Not much help I suppose, but just know your not alone.
Reply 17
Danielle89
sorry but that sounds like you're being paranoid tbh - "I was quite well known" - yeah, in your course and perhaps in a few others but you go to uni to meet like-minded people but above all TO GET A DEGREE yes? If people dont like you for who you are screw them tbh.
I am quite well known, trust me. I have had many people approach me (even ones that I don't know) to ask who I am, because in their words "they have seen me around".
Anyway, the above is easier said then done, living away from home. The last thing I want to be is a social reject. University can be a lonely place.
Also, I won't lie , but I do get corrupted by girls (and the time this takes up, is amazing). Sometimes, I found for example I changed my schedule for a girl ahead of my degree if they asked me to go out with them or meet them up otherwise I would be branded as 'boring'. Pathetic - thinking back, but I am a guy afterall.
So many distractions.
Reply 18
Dionysus
I think the general points you're making seem pretty familiar. I find that, although I like a drink, some people took it to the ridiculous. I know people who sit there and drink about 6 cans of super strongbow (that 7.5% stuff, 500ml) - absolutely vile stuff, then they go out and drink 10 bottles, then to the club and several double vodka and cokes. It's ridiculous even by my standards. Thing is, I don't object to getting bladdered once a week, but some people do it literally every night. It isn't as if they actually enjoy being permanently ill either, it's just for attention. I don't really connect with many of the people in my accomodation at all - and the girls are even worse!
Yeah, I have been at parties where I am sober. Get so much stick for it, someone ALWAYS starts a drinking game. It seems to me that in order for people to have a good time, in this culture anyway - it evolves around drink. If you don't participate, you are classed as 'boring'. I don't object to it, but come on.
Reply 19
Anonymous
Yeah, I have been at parties where I am sober. Get so much stick for it, someone ALWAYS starts a drinking game. It seems to me that in order for people to have a good time, in this culture anyway - it evolves around drink. If you don't participate, you are classed as 'boring'. I don't object to it, but come on.
If you aren't into getting drunk every night, how about finding a society to join which interests you and doesn't involve drinking? I know its a cliched answer but you will get to meet people and for the most part you won't be getting drunk. I use to play in my University music society's orchestra and although some people did go out after, it was only a small minority of the members. Some of the society's at my uni meet like once a week for a few hours so its not likely to be time consuming.
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