Sixth Form Personal Statements - share tips and ask for advice Watch

RK
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We get a number of people asking about Sixth Form Personal Statements on here and all get answered separately - so here is a place for people to ask for help and maybe post up what they have written to looked at. With PS for Sixth Form apparently becoming more common and more important, it might be useful to ask questions about your PS.


We have the PS Helpers for the Uni PSs - but speaking to them they don't know much about Sixth Form PSs, so think this thread is a good idea where Sixth Form people who know more about them can take a look an help other people.


So if you want help do the following
  • Say what school you're applying to
  • Say what subjects/qualifications you want to do
  • Ask what sort of help you need (general pointers on what to include/your statement checking over/advice on structure etc)
  • Maybe post up what you have written to get checked over.



While it's different for every school and college, we could also try to draw up some general advice and tips on what to do and how to find out more information specific to your school or college. So let's get posting in here and see what we can come up with
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Metamorphosis_S
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Are in an in area or out of area student?
If you're in area then don't worry about it. At all. Just write a bit about your hobbies and interests, what subjects you do and what skills you have. In the general style of: I enjoy(...) as well as (....) which I feel has greatly enhanced my ability to(...). I'm a friendly outgoing person etc. etc. lie lie lie.

They probably wont even read it, they just think it's good practise.

However if you're not in the catchment area it might be a bigger deal, but to be honest if you follow the detailed instructions given above I'm sure it'll be more than enough. Just make sure your spelling, punctuation and grammar is all up to scratch and that you have some interests which set you apart. An 'extreme' sport was mine since I don't play instruments or debate take part in team activities. Anything will do really.

Try and have an interests paragraph, skills paragraph, general info paragraph. Keep it under a page long and sound as swotty as possible. I'm sure you'll be fine
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Felicity_Ella
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I am applying to a Sixth Form (selective), and am in the process of writing my application form, I have to write:

My reasons for applying to their 6th form

I do have reasons for applying, but as this form goes through my current school (comprehensive), I am worried that these may offend my teachers.

Are the any reasons why I would want to go to their 6th form, that I may be overlooking? (there is 3/4 of pages to write my reasons)

Thanks in advance
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matt^
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thanks.
yeh i am out of catchment area so it probably does need to be good.
i play quite a bit of sport so that will probably do for me.

thnsk again
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noodles!
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If it's subjects you've moved for, that's valid.

And if the 6th form is selective, you can say that you would benefit from studying in a more challenging environment- your school can't say anything to that.

Also, whatever you put on your form, they've probably heard it before.
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Mr Ben
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Just a bit of general advice for personal statements, what the college is looking for more than anything else is enthusiasm, if you can get across that you really really enjoy your subject then you should do well
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Blink.
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Right, so I'm applying to Bishop Vesey's Grammer School to study Biology, Chemistry Psychology and Mathematics, and I just wondered whether this personal statement reads well and is correct grammer-wise. Any suggestions for improvement would be great. Thanks.


I completed a two week work placement at Birches Green Junior School. This involved assisting young children with learning in various ways such as helping to improve their reading skills, learn new spellings and introducing the children to new I.C.T. techniques. I also worked with other members of staff, led a P.E. lesson and took on the role of secretary for a day; all of which have greatly improved my inter-personal skills and also made me more confident about working in a social environment.

I have a passion for sports, especially Football. I play for the school team as well as previously playing for a successful league team for five years, which has made me good team player with high levels of determination and commitment. These qualities have attributed to me gaining the Junior Sports Leaders Award, as well as being appointed House Captain and Form Representative.

I enjoy music as I find it to be a creative release. I’m particularly drawn to the Alternative, Indie and Rock genres of music; all of which heavily influence my drumming, Reading also appeals to me. I find that Fiction, especially the Horror genre, captivates my imagination as I enjoy becoming immersed in the stories as well as exploring creative ideas and techniques used by the authors.

I’m really keen on the idea of studying Biology and Chemistry as these subjects have always fascinated me; particularly the aspects of learning how people function biologically, and how our lives rely heavily on Chemistry, as well as these subjects leading me to my aspiration of studying Medicine. Psychology also interests me, as learning about how the mind works physically and emotionally, and in what ways the body reacts to various mental states intrigues me. I chose Mathematics as I particularly enjoy the problem solving aspects of this subject and it ties in well with Chemistry. Also, I’ve always succeeded in this subject, so I would like to further develop my mathematical knowledge.
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Blink.
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Anyone? =]
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matt^
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maybe a sort of summary or concluding sentence but i dont really know too much about writing one but i do need to write one today! YAY for me.
but that to me does seem really good and you've got everything in that im going to be including in mine

edit: oh and get rid of your apostrophes as you should use formal writing language
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RK
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That last point is particularly good on apostrophes. You should be formal in your approach - not necasserily using 'big words' and the like, but just making sure you don't shorten words, nor use abbreviations nor apostrophes - nothing too chatty - just straightforward, 'proper' written English.

This goes for any PS/letter anywhere really, not just for this PS
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Blink.
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Thanks
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Amberlucca_17
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(Original post by RK)
We get a number of people asking about Sixth Form Personal Statements on here and all get answered separately - so here is a place for people to ask for help and maybe post up what they have written to looked at. With PS for Sixth Form apparently becoming more common and more important, it might be useful to ask questions about your PS.


We have the PS Helpers for the Uni PSs - but speaking to them they don't know much about Sixth Form PSs, so think this thread is a good idea where Sixth Form people who know more about them can take a look an help other people.


So if you want help do the following
  • Say what school you're applying to
  • Say what subjects/qualifications you want to do
  • Ask what sort of help you need (general pointers on what to include/your statement checking over/advice on structure etc)
  • Maybe post up what you have written to get checked over.



While it's different for every school and college, we could also try to draw up some general advice and tips on what to do and how to find out more information specific to your school or college. So let's get posting in here and see what we can come up with
in my college, we got told to write about the uni u want to apply for and why? wat subjects ur doing and how they interest you? include hobbies, work experince and placement, any job.
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letsdothetimewarpagain
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(Original post by Metamorphosis_S)
Are in an in area or out of area student?
If you're in area then don't worry about it. At all. Just write a bit about your hobbies and interests, what subjects you do and what skills you have. In the general style of: I enjoy(...) as well as (....) which I feel has greatly enhanced my ability to(...). I'm a friendly outgoing person etc. etc. lie lie lie.

They probably wont even read it, they just think it's good practise.

However if you're not in the catchment area it might be a bigger deal, but to be honest if you follow the detailed instructions given above I'm sure it'll be more than enough. Just make sure your spelling, punctuation and grammar is all up to scratch and that you have some interests which set you apart. An 'extreme' sport was mine since I don't play instruments or debate take part in team activities. Anything will do really.

With the catchment areas and stuff...

I am currently in the main school of the sixth form which I want to go to BUT since starting at the main school I moved an hour away, so where does this leave me standing in terms of in area/out are?? :confused:

(BTW I am happy doing the cummute everyday, been doing it for last two years so another 2 wont kill me)

Not entirely sure whether or not this makes sense
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geobarlow
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#14
What are you guys doing for extra credit in your personal statements? What can you do for Physics? I read something on here, but can no longer find it, any idea? I think it was some sort of community project, or experiment. Something to do with Quarks? quark.com didn't help! What extension would it have if it were a Non-Profit Thingy?
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mornacollege
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#15
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#15
I am studying english language AS level. Where can I find info on Coupland 1984- I have to research him for section B Unit 1. thanks for the help.
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mornacollege
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#16
I cant find anyhing on the internet about him
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Amberlucca_17
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#17
My advice to anyone applying for College
make sure you include wat subjects and why
any extra curricular activities
what you hope to achieve, dnt lie in the statement they can pick it up easily
any extra qualification you have done relevant to your subject or towards a course at uni
good luck my statement was over a page but it has to be dense and straight to the point
have fun
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Kinesthetic
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#18
My advice would be not to drag or make it too long as some colleges only have a specific time to interview you; it's better for them to discuss the bolder and the considerabley stronger points than those insignificant ones.

I think it's essential, just like when writing a CV, to include hobbies in school & out of school, your favourite subjects in school and what you want to do in the future (in terms of career).

It's also good to give situations (don't directly state them, but work them in somehow) of how you can work in a team, and work individually.
Work experience doesn't have to be mentioned, and neither does anything about your school working ethos; as these are usually covered in the Referral by your teacher & in the Work Experience section of the application.
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imyournan
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#19
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#19
"
Why I selected my subjects:
From my early days, I have always thrived on the sense of accomplishment or the feeling of satisfaction once a problem has been solved. That said, I've always wanted exciting courses in which studying isn't part of a routine but involves various projects and working with people. This, combined with the college’s remarkable reputation and my academic strength in dealing with problems and equations - the above lead me to choosing to study maths, further maths, physics and chemistry at Woodhouse College.


Career aspiration - engineer
When I was younger, I learnt that when something works, we tend to over look it; yet when things break, only then do we realise its true value. This is how society naturally operates and is exactly why the world is dependent on engineers to keep things going. For this reason, being an engineer has always been my career aspiration. It brings together many aspects which I admire, including using creative flair to solve problems, mathematical reasoning and working with people. Hopefully, my desired subjects would aid me significantly in the success I wish to hold in the future as an engineer.


Why im applying for Woodhouse College:
After attending the open day held on the 8th of November, I learned that the college provides students with fantastic learning environments and a range of useful facilities which I feel will be highly beneficial to me. This includes having the opportunity to play for the college’s football team. Also, the student hosts were very friendly, approachable, and enthusiastic about their learning. These are the kind people I hope to share my studies with. The fact that the college allows room for more students than most other colleges means that there are more people to befriend and socialise with, making the two years experience more worthwhile. Overall, my attendance to the open day has motivated me to perform better in my upcoming exams, so that I can meet the required grades (or do better) for entry to the sixth form.


Interests and activities outside of the classroom:
Outside of the curriculum, one of the things I enjoy is paintballing. I take part in paintball sessions at least once every two months with my friends. This is because I like a challenge but I also like to socialise. I also have an interest in magic and illusions and although I haven't performed in any major events, I've performed at my secondary school's talent show and have enjoyed the experience. Finally, attending regular table-tennis tournaments every Sunday at my local youth club is another pastime. In fact, I was awarded with a silver medal in the Finsbury table-tennis tournament of 2004. Of course, when exams or other school deadlines are nearby, I adjust my schedule accordingly.


Previous work experience:
In total, I have taken part in 2 work experience programs. One of them was arranged by my secondary school and was compulsory. It consisted of a 2 week placement in Boots Stores plc. My main tasks included general till work as well as customer services. My work hours were 9am – 4pm and I was allowed the weekends off. From this experience I gained transferrable communication skills as I had to advise customers on products suitable for their needs and also deal with refund and exchange queries. The reason why I enjoyed this experience was because it allowed me to interact with people of different ages to me.

The other work experience was last summer at the Deutsche Bank for 4 weeks. I requested a work placement here because I felt I needed to expand my knowledge of financial handling, working as a team and of course, learning to work under a pressurised environment. I believe that these skills are essential as they provide the foundation on which my life should be based and built upon. Tasks I did include; buying meals for employees, helping to prepare rooms for employees use and organising paperwork. Although my duties at the bank were restricted due to the nature of my employment, I still feel that I have gained an excellent insight into the day to day workings within a large banking community. On the whole, it was a fantastic experience .."

is mine okay so far?
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xobile
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(Original post by imyournan)
"
Why I selected my subjects:
From my early days, I have always thrived on the sense of accomplishment or the feeling of satisfaction once a problem has been solved. That said, I've always wanted exciting courses in which studying isn't part of a routine but involves various projects and working with people. This, combined with the college’s remarkable reputation and my academic strength in dealing with problems and equations - the above lead me to choosing to study maths, further maths, physics and chemistry at Woodhouse College.


Career aspiration - engineer
When I was younger, I learnt that when something works, we tend to over look it; yet when things break, only then do we realise its true value. This is how society naturally operates and is exactly why the world is dependent on engineers to keep things going. For this reason, being an engineer has always been my career aspiration. It brings together many aspects which I admire, including using creative flair to solve problems, mathematical reasoning and working with people. Hopefully, my desired subjects would aid me significantly in the success I wish to hold in the future as an engineer.


Why im applying for Woodhouse College:
After attending the open day held on the 8th of November, I learned that the college provides students with fantastic learning environments and a range of useful facilities which I feel will be highly beneficial to me. This includes having the opportunity to play for the college’s football team. Also, the student hosts were very friendly, approachable, and enthusiastic about their learning. These are the kind people I hope to share my studies with. The fact that the college allows room for more students than most other colleges means that there are more people to befriend and socialise with, making the two years experience more worthwhile. Overall, my attendance to the open day has motivated me to perform better in my upcoming exams, so that I can meet the required grades (or do better) for entry to the sixth form.


Interests and activities outside of the classroom:
Outside of the curriculum, one of the things I enjoy is paintballing. I take part in paintball sessions at least once every two months with my friends. This is because I like a challenge but I also like to socialise. I also have an interest in magic and illusions and although I haven't performed in any major events, I've performed at my secondary school's talent show and have enjoyed the experience. Finally, attending regular table-tennis tournaments every Sunday at my local youth club is another pastime. In fact, I was awarded with a silver medal in the Finsbury table-tennis tournament of 2004. Of course, when exams or other school deadlines are nearby, I adjust my schedule accordingly.


Previous work experience:
In total, I have taken part in 2 work experience programs. One of them was arranged by my secondary school and was compulsory. It consisted of a 2 week placement in Boots Stores plc. My main tasks included general till work as well as customer services. My work hours were 9am – 4pm and I was allowed the weekends off. From this experience I gained transferrable communication skills as I had to advise customers on products suitable for their needs and also deal with refund and exchange queries. The reason why I enjoyed this experience was because it allowed me to interact with people of different ages to me.

The other work experience was last summer at the Deutsche Bank for 4 weeks. I requested a work placement here because I felt I needed to expand my knowledge of financial handling, working as a team and of course, learning to work under a pressurised environment. I believe that these skills are essential as they provide the foundation on which my life should be based and built upon. Tasks I did include; buying meals for employees, helping to prepare rooms for employees use and organising paperwork. Although my duties at the bank were restricted due to the nature of my employment, I still feel that I have gained an excellent insight into the day to day workings within a large banking community. On the whole, it was a fantastic experience .."

is mine okay so far?
I just wrote three paragraphs in response to your question, but lost them by pressing a wrong key. Dammit. So I'll jsut give you the quick version now:

It's a functional personal statement and will not jeopardise your chances of getting admission. However, its stylistic and grammatical problems will fail to impress the admissions secretary. I don't have the time to explain these now, so I have shown a 'before' and 'after' makeover of one of the sections in the statement, which should indicate where you can improve.

Before:

"From my early days, I have always thrived on the sense of accomplishment or the feeling of satisfaction once a problem has been solved. That said, I've always wanted exciting courses in which studying isn't part of a routine but involves various projects and working with people. This, combined with the college’s remarkable reputation and my academic strength in dealing with problems and equations - the above lead me to choosing to study maths, further maths, physics and chemistry at Woodhouse College."

After:

"I feel an affinity for scientific, deductive subjects because I enjoy the intellectual workout of solving problems, whether they are mathematical equations, chemical experiments or group project work in physics. My keen interest in these subjects should translate into hard work, an inquisitive approach and, ultimately, good examination results."

Before:

"The other work experience was last summer at the Deutsche Bank for 4 weeks. I requested a work placement here because I felt I needed to expand my knowledge of financial handling, working as a team and of course, learning to work under a pressurised environment. I believe that these skills are essential as they provide the foundation on which my life should be based and built upon. Tasks I did include; buying meals for employees, helping to prepare rooms for employees use and organising paperwork. Although my duties at the bank were restricted due to the nature of my employment, I still feel that I have gained an excellent insight into the day to day workings within a large banking community. On the whole, it was a fantastic experience"

After:

"My second work placement was in Deutsche Bank for four weeks last summer. I wanted to gain an insight into the high-pressure world of such an eminent bank. The four weeks allowed me to develop the personal discipline that is required for better organisation and group work. Although my role was largely clerical, I came out with a more sound understanding of how an efficient financial organisation such as Deutsche Bank works."

I hope you can see that there are parts of the text that could do with fewer unnecessary words, better grammar and a more direct, to-the-point approach. I have tried to show a better approach, but I'm sure you can improve my own 'Afters' and produce a very good personal statement. Do this if you want to really impress.
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