How do you get to know people?

I am one of those people who everyone just "knows" and says hi and bye to. people who don't know me think i am very popular but recently i've realized that i don't really have close friends. How do I get to make new friends? When people speak to me I can feel that I am sounding like I couldn't really care less but the thing is I don't know how to sound like I am engaged in the conversation with them.

I also always go clubbing and see old acquaintances. Quite often I want to become better friends with them but i just don't know how i can make it happen!! What do you do to people to make them become friends with you??

Reply 1

Don John

17

Talk to them :s-smilie:

Ask them questions about their opinions of things... no black and white way to get to know someone really...

Reply 2

Titch89

14

Don John

Talk to them :s-smilie:

Ask them questions about their opinions of things... no black and white way to get to know someone really...

Exactly. I recently met someone (he was a friend of a friend) recently and it was quite easy to talk to him - which isn't normal for me.

Reply 3

lizibeth

8

spending time with them, just general chatting really. if people know who you are and you are generally percieved as popular then I guess you're on the right lines already.

Reply 4

randomgirl

14

Just start chatting to them more, ask them about themselves. If they are interested in the convo they will ask you things. Get their number, or the email ad etc. Go out for drinks, meet up to study, get a coffee. Whatever. Just get chatting and try and meet them more often. Sit with them in lectures etc.

Reply 5

username158373

0

18

The old emo-filled fable of myspace haha.

Mmm. I just go into town with one/two friends max and we just find one or two nice looking females and say hello. And flirt like hell. And then it'll either be a friendship or more and you've got nothing to loose except an opportunity and lifes full of them anyway.

:smile:

Just make yourself look your best, feel confident and ask people about things they seem to enjoy.

For example this guy i know is always looking a motorbikes etc when i see him about. So i go up "Hey, you alright blah blah." "OH on the way in i saw this immense motorbike must have been a new honda fireblade, just flew past about 20 cars in a few seconds".

Then he'll reply enthuisiastically, then you develop if asking what bike he'd want etc. And wallah a friend. Then just start finding out what you have in common!

This is just an example obviously, please apply to your own life. Tutorial not included :wink:

. hehe

Reply 6

Miranda

OP

well how do i generate an interesting conversation??

Reply 7

happinessxo

9

Miranda

well how do i generate an interesting conversation??

I generally find getting drunk does the trick *shrugs*. Drunk bonding, nothing like it.

Reply 8

username158373

0

18

Just notice something about them and point it out.

E.g "Hey nice glassess, did you get them from specsavers? Oh my uncle works there. His names tony did you get them from him?"

E.g "Heya, you okay? Yeah i'm good too. Nice dress you've got on today, is that the one from river island?"

blah blah.

These are generally ways of starting conversations with the opposite sex, but theres nothing untoward about them. Just talk about ANYTHING you notice. :smile:

Reply 9

suicidal_dream

1

happinessxo

I generally find getting drunk does the trick *shrugs*. Drunk bonding, nothing like it.

^^ most definitely - loads of friends i've met in the pub at home started off cos i was drunk and started chatting random stuff - same way i met my boyfriend!

Reply 10

username158373

0

18

suicidal_dream

same way i met my boyfriend!

Same way i've met my past 3 girlfriends :banana:

Reply 11

Overground

17

Just sound really interested in what they have to say, ask questions and stuff. This works on girls (if you are a lad, which I don't think you are if you're names Miranda :smile:

).

Reply 12

jenren22

1

I used to be a bit like that. Especially when i was single and just had friends all over the place. It suited me pretty well. Im lucky now i have a bf whos my best friend, and a friend i travel to uni with so we're pretty close now. But its just a case of spending alot of time with people and maybe going out places just together, so you can communicate on a more one-to-one basis. Just ask questions and get to know the person they are over time, then you can communicate much more easily and you'll feel much more at ease with them.

Reply 13

Cj-Tj

15

You will often find people with many friends have few close ones. Im like that and it really dosnt bother me atm, I can get on with almost everyone which is cool. As for developing close mates.. I dont know, yeah we chat/ask questions but there is something way more than that between us. I honeslty cant put it into words, but theres something inexplicable which you will occasionally find.

Reply 14

blanche89

3

i'm similar to you... you just got to initiate conversation X

Reply 15

tootsies

11

Miranda

I am one of those people who everyone just "knows" and says hi and bye to. people who don't know me think i am very popular but recently i've realized that i don't really have close friends. How do I get to make new friends? When people speak to me I can feel that I am sounding like I couldn't really care less but the thing is I don't know how to sound like I am engaged in the conversation with them.

I also always go clubbing and see old acquaintances. Quite often I want to become better friends with them but i just don't know how i can make it happen!! What do you do to people to make them become friends with you??

I'm really confident, and I can talk to pretty much anyone...It's a good quality to be able to just go up and talk to people you don't know, because the thing is...they're not really going to care, they'll be happy that you made the effort. As for old aquaintances, just ask about them, make your personality apparent...for example I love telling jokes and making inappropriate comments (within reason...mostly) and I don't reserve this really, and people tend to like it (again, mostly). I think being yourself straight away is such a good thing, after all, if you have to act different for people to like you; they're not the kind of people you want to be friends with.

Reply 16

Flic89

I think I'm the opposite!

I find people like you work so hard to make themselves look good to 'fit in' and be well received generally, that they forget how to relate to people. Constantly having just normal, light conversation is great, but somewhere along the lines people want a little more than that - they want a connection and to know a little more of you.

Have confidence in yourself, appreciate them for who they are and don't be afraid to open up and show your true self.

Believe it or not it's because you don't want to make the effort subconsciously which is pulling you back! So you can only get into the habit of trying to extend relationships, even if you don't want to.

Reply 17

Graylilxx

I find it really hard to get to know people too and because people don't seem to want to speak to me. I don't know, I don't get it because when i'm out or at a party people come up and say how they always see me around campus, but never talk to me. I get this constantly, but it’s actually beginning to get me a bit down. It’s like why not, do I look unfriendly? I'd like to think I’m quite nice though, well I don’t think I walk around scathing at people lol. I’m just not very forward, and find it hard to put myself out there to make new friends outside my close friendship group, but I can hold a conversation and everything and like to have a laugh with my boyfriend/friends. People just don’t seem to want to talk to me unless I’m out somewhere or i talk to them.

Reply 18

Friggerpants

1

Drop some banter with them.

Or fight them.

Reply 19

Dance Commander

1

I suggest sitting and staring at people.

How do you get to know people?

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