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Can you just be friends with someone you have a crush on?

There’s a guy I really like and I never told him how I felt. At first it was a great feeling, being around him made me so happy. There’s certain people who just make you want to be better and he definitely did so I thought just being friends was a good idea. As it went on I started feeling really sad, always questioning if he even liked talking to me or being around me, and after being with him I’d feel really low because I just couldn’t get enough.

I told him how I felt, he said he didn’t feel the same but he kissed me. We both said we really wanted to be friends, I know he doesn’t find it weird but the only thing is as much as I want to be friends, I’m not sure how to? What if whenever I see him it all comes back to me? How do I stop wishing for more? Will part of me always love him?

Tl;dr Do you think people can get over someone and just be friends? If so, how?
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a guy I really like and I never told him how I felt. At first it was a great feeling, being around him made me so happy. There’s certain people who just make you want to be better and he definitely did so I thought just being friends was a good idea. As it went on I started feeling really sad, always questioning if he even liked talking to me or being around me, and after being with him I’d feel really low because I just couldn’t get enough.

I told him how I felt, he said he didn’t feel the same but he kissed me. We both said we really wanted to be friends, I know he doesn’t find it weird but the only thing is as much as I want to be friends, I’m not sure how to? What if whenever I see him it all comes back to me? How do I stop wishing for more? Will part of me always love him?

Tl;dr Do you think people can get over someone and just be friends? If so, how?


I think depends on a lot on the individual like all these relationship questions, In my experience, the answer is categorically no but I'm no social butterfly and when i have got over someone my friendship seems to wane accordingly. This is because if you have a crush on someone which is unrequited then you will always feel unequal in that friendship (ie putting more effort in) which causes disdain to build up. But that's just me and i am sure many people do as you have described personally and In your position, you may as well aim to do just that
yes they can. it is hard in the beginning but you get around it.
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a guy I really like and I never told him how I felt. At first it was a great feeling, being around him made me so happy. There’s certain people who just make you want to be better and he definitely did so I thought just being friends was a good idea. As it went on I started feeling really sad, always questioning if he even liked talking to me or being around me, and after being with him I’d feel really low because I just couldn’t get enough.

I told him how I felt, he said he didn’t feel the same but he kissed me. We both said we really wanted to be friends, I know he doesn’t find it weird but the only thing is as much as I want to be friends, I’m not sure how to? What if whenever I see him it all comes back to me? How do I stop wishing for more? Will part of me always love him?

Tl;dr Do you think people can get over someone and just be friends? If so, how?


You can try, but he will probably catch feelings eventually.
Reply 4
Avatar for UWS
UWS
21
You carry on things as they were before. Nothing will be awkward unless you make it awkward.

It's up to you whether to take a step back or two while you lose the feelings. It will be hard as you might get jealous when he speaks to other girls but it's manageable.
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a guy I really like and I never told him how I felt. At first it was a great feeling, being around him made me so happy. There’s certain people who just make you want to be better and he definitely did so I thought just being friends was a good idea. As it went on I started feeling really sad, always questioning if he even liked talking to me or being around me, and after being with him I’d feel really low because I just couldn’t get enough.

I told him how I felt, he said he didn’t feel the same but he kissed me. We both said we really wanted to be friends, I know he doesn’t find it weird but the only thing is as much as I want to be friends, I’m not sure how to? What if whenever I see him it all comes back to me? How do I stop wishing for more? Will part of me always love him?

Tl;dr Do you think people can get over someone and just be friends? If so, how?


I know it's not really the same thing but my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago (nothing bad - reason I won't go into) & honestly we're still really good friends & see each other all the time, it's hard as I still really care & love him but I think if you can get over the first awkwardness of knowing that you still like him then you can work it out because if you cared for him you'd want to still be around him. Although if being around him hurts too much then don't (perhaps leave it a while & don't hang out with them & then go back to hanging out). I think it'll just take time, one thing that's helped me is having other people with me (more than one other person) when I'm around him as if I feel like it's too much or if I'm finding everything difficult & like it's making it worse then I have others to talk to & be with & go off with if I need to have a bit of space as if you're just with him alone it can make it harder. I know whenever I see my ex that I still wish we could be together but I just try to think about him now being happier which is all I want. Sorry I know the situation is kind of different but you're still having to get over someone & still be friends with them even if you didn't go out. Hope everything works out :smile:
Reply 6
Avatar for RLinds
RLinds
11
Original post by ParkHyungSuk
You can try, but he will probably catch feelings eventually.


don't give her false hope
It's...complicated. A LOT depends on the guy, his personality and how much he valued your friendship before.

From personal experience, he may still claim that he still want to be friends but it will feel like there's a barrier between you two.

Suddenly you'll think twice before making a flirty joke or an innuendo. Every time he doesn't immediately respond to your text, you'll start to wonder if you crossed some line. Hugging or brushing hands by accident will feel beyond awkward.

But if you're willing to endure all of that, then yes. It is possible to stay friends. It just depends on how much you are willing to suffer for the sake of someone's company.
Reply 8
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Lydia.Mx
I know it's not really the same thing but my boyfriend broke up with me a month ago (nothing bad - reason I won't go into) & honestly we're still really good friends & see each other all the time, it's hard as I still really care & love him but I think if you can get over the first awkwardness of knowing that you still like him then you can work it out because if you cared for him you'd want to still be around him. Although if being around him hurts too much then don't (perhaps leave it a while & don't hang out with them & then go back to hanging out). I think it'll just take time, one thing that's helped me is having other people with me (more than one other person) when I'm around him as if I feel like it's too much or if I'm finding everything difficult & like it's making it worse then I have others to talk to & be with & go off with if I need to have a bit of space as if you're just with him alone it can make it harder. I know whenever I see my ex that I still wish we could be together but I just try to think about him now being happier which is all I want. Sorry I know the situation is kind of different but you're still having to get over someone & still be friends with them even if you didn't go out. Hope everything works out :smile:


Hey your position is much more difficult than mine since this is someone who you actually had a relationship with so I guess if you can do it and manage, I can too :smile: great advice, thank you!
Reply 9
Avatar for Anonymous #1
Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by UWS
You carry on things as they were before. Nothing will be awkward unless you make it awkward.

It's up to you whether to take a step back or two while you lose the feelings. It will be hard as you might get jealous when he speaks to other girls but it's manageable.


I don’t think it’ll be awkward and he was already speaking to other girls while we were friends and it didn’t bug me much. But I think I’ll just take a step back and wait for him to make contact first, hopefully my feelings will be gone by then. Thanks :smile:
LMFAO.

Spoiler

Original post by RLinds
don't give her false hope


:tongue:
Original post by Anonymous
There’s a guy I really like and I never told him how I felt. At first it was a great feeling, being around him made me so happy. There’s certain people who just make you want to be better and he definitely did so I thought just being friends was a good idea. As it went on I started feeling really sad, always questioning if he even liked talking to me or being around me, and after being with him I’d feel really low because I just couldn’t get enough.

I told him how I felt, he said he didn’t feel the same but he kissed me. We both said we really wanted to be friends, I know he doesn’t find it weird but the only thing is as much as I want to be friends, I’m not sure how to? What if whenever I see him it all comes back to me? How do I stop wishing for more? Will part of me always love him?

Tl;dr Do you think people can get over someone and just be friends? If so, how?


meanwhile i;m here waiting for my crush to text me back...
Reply 13
Avatar for krish24
krish24
5
You can, but it's hard for the guy -- pun intended!! :-)

A lot depends on how you spend time together, and what kind of "opportunities" arise.... When both have a crush on each other, it's hard to resist.

But, it's not impossible,

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