The Student Room Group

How do you deal with a parents open favouritism of your sibling?

My Mum just adores my brother and let's him get away with anything. Whenever I do something my mum is all like "why can't you be as good as your brother?"
My brother bullies me and says hurtful things to me and it makes me break down in tears sometimes but my mum tells me that this type of teasing is normal for boys and just to deal with it.
I sometimes stay up late at night crying from some mean things he said. When I talk to my dad about it he just bursts out laughing and very teasingly tells him off and they both (my dad and my brother) start laughing together.
I feel horrible and I feel as if I have nobody to talk to. My brother is friends with everyone at school and I have no friends whatsoever. Sometimes I feel so lost. The only person I feel geuinly happy with is my baby brother which just makes me sound pathetic how do I deal with this?
Reply 1
:smile:
Reply 2
I guess they do it without realising
Right well from the sounds of it, this is just your perspective and i strongly doub that your parents actually favour your older brother more than you. It sounds like a passing thing or the scary development of something worse. Your parents love you. If you feel that its getting worse then you can always try for your parents attention, do something. Join a youth group or an organisation, get into a sport or take an interest in your parents interests. Be a perfect peter-esque person (horrid henry tv show reference).

Or do what some poor people do who have this inferiority and grow to resent your family, slowly remove yourself from your family until you leave for uni or whatever and only visit for christmas and call for birthdays. I would not recommend that.

Finally, you can grow up and realise that your parents don't have a favourite they just expect you to be a bit tougher and dish back what your brother throws at you. Be a man and all that and don't let his words get to you. He's your brother for goodness sake obviously he doesn't mean anything just grow a thicker skin and you should notice some changes.
Your parents are *******s. The users above me probably have never had to worry about abusive parents, so I'm unsure if this is just the tip of the iceberg with you and your parents.

Or not. Either way it does sound very hurtful and it's a valid thing to be distraught by.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
My Mum just adores my brother and let's him get away with anything. Whenever I do something my mum is all like "why can't you be as good as your brother?"
My brother bullies me and says hurtful things to me and it makes me break down in tears sometimes but my mum tells me that this type of teasing is normal for boys and just to deal with it.
I sometimes stay up late at night crying from some mean things he said. When I talk to my dad about it he just bursts out laughing and very teasingly tells him off and they both (my dad and my brother) start laughing together.
I feel horrible and I feel as if I have nobody to talk to. My brother is friends with everyone at school and I have no friends whatsoever. Sometimes I feel so lost. The only person I feel geuinly happy with is my baby brother which just makes me sound pathetic how do I deal with this?


That must be really tough for you. It may be that your parents do genuinely love you just as much as your brother, but they certainly don't sound good at showing it.
Yeah teasing to some extent is normal in a sibling relationship, but if it's hurting you then they should be being more sympathetic. Teasing is partially about learning boundaries and your brother isn't going to learn any like his.

Have you considered talking to somebody about this You can ask your school about their counselling service and they should be abblt to talk through things with you and hopefully help you work out some ways to properly communicate to your family just how big a deal this is to you.

Hope that helps and apologies for any typos and spelling mistakes. My tablet is playing up.
Reply 6
Original post by matwillis
Right well from the sounds of it, this is just your perspective and i strongly doub that your parents actually favour your older brother more than you. It sounds like a passing thing or the scary development of something worse. Your parents love you. If you feel that its getting worse then you can always try for your parents attention, do something. Join a youth group or an organisation, get into a sport or take an interest in your parents interests. Be a perfect peter-esque person (horrid henry tv show reference).

Or do what some poor people do who have this inferiority and grow to resent your family, slowly remove yourself from your family until you leave for uni or whatever and only visit for christmas and call for birthdays. I would not recommend that.

Finally, you can grow up and realise that your parents don't have a favourite they just expect you to be a bit tougher and dish back what your brother throws at you. Be a man and all that and don't let his words get to you. He's your brother for goodness sake obviously he doesn't mean anything just grow a thicker skin and you should notice some changes.


I'm a girl...
Reply 7
Hi. Just to let you know I'm moving this over to Relationships. You can still post anon over there and I think you might get better advice over there. :smile:

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