The Student Room Group

Parents are in really bad debt! Help!

hi,

please delete rather then de-anon as my brother reads this!

basically, i found out my mum is in bad debt. she is a single parent and has a small job as i have little brother .

but i read a letter that was on the side in my kitchen and it was from a debt colllector saying she owed money and had to pay it within a week in order to avoid court action. i then looked a bit further into this and realised there were a lot of different letters from different companies all saying the same thing. its really worrying me as she hasnt got the money to pay for all these debts and they are all like final warnings! on the search history she has been trying to get really dodgy loans due to bad credit and they have so much intrest which she cant afford.

Also there are searches like "help me" and "want to run away"

its making me really scared as i want to help but i cant afford to pay off these debts.

What can i do?

Sorrry for long post! Thanks
has your mum tried going to citizens advice?!

They are often the best bet when debt comes calling - or even maybe you could go down there, speak to them and see what they say, and 'conveniently' leave leaflets from them lying around the house?!
If you feel like you want to talk to her about it, then do, though of course you'll have to explain why you read her mail.

TBH, I don't know a time when when those sorts of letters haven't been coming through my front door for my parents. It doesn't seem as scary or big a deal to me, but maybe that's because I don't really know much about it.

One thing I do know though is it puts my parents constantly on edge. If you can't tell your mum why you know about her financial troubles, then at least be there for her for a cuddle! I wouldn't worry TOO much about it. My parents have letters from bailiffs all the time and I don't think we've had things taken.

Sorry, my post is getting rambling. So, if you are able to admit you've read her mail and want her to know you know, then do, because then she can open up to you, and also bring you up to speed on the situation. It mightn't be nearly as bad as you fear. you could also help her research her rights with regards to bailiffs and debt repayment. The former especially can be dodgy dealers, so get clued up on what they can and can't do.

If you don't want to tell your mum how you know, then just be there for her.


And try not to worry yourself. It's something that's hung over my family's head for as long as I can remember, but you still have to get on with life.

Good luck. :smile:
Reply 3
Try not to worry. Courts will not tell your mum to pay back the money at a rate she can't afford, and bailiffs can't come and take away any of your stuff before she's defaulted on a court order. Any debt collectors that try to come before it's gone to court have less right to be on the property than the milkman, and you/she/anyone else in the house do not have to let them in!

Go and have a look at MSE and you'll find loads of useful advice. You can't force your mum into doing anything, and you can't do it for her, but if you get some information then you can be there for her when she's ready.

Try and encourage her to contact CCCS. They have a freephone number: 0800 138111. They will offer free and impartial debt advice. If things do go to court, they will be there and support her, but they will negotiate with her creditors so that things hopefully don't go that far. They won't lend her any money, because a consolidation loan is the last thing your mum needs right now (even though it feels otherwise). But they can persuade creditors to accept lower payments - even £1 a month if that's all your mum can afford - and they may be able to get interest and late payment charges stopped.
Reply 4
thanks everyone, i think ill get all the info on how to help then tell her i know, it might be easier.
thanks
citizens advice bureau. tell her to go.

signing u pfor more loads is asking for toruble, esp with dodgy companeis with high interest rates.
In America you could file for bankruptcy. Is there something like that in the UK?
Yes, but you will probably lose any assetts - i.e your house.
Reply 8
Bankruptcy is usually a last resort - a DMP or IVA is probably more suitable. Also, you need independent advice from somewhere like CCCS or the CAB before you can go bankrupt. They will advise it if it is the only way out.
What kind of figures are we talking about? A few thousand or 10's of thousands?
As everyone else has said, try getting your mum to contact the CAB. OP, my mum was in the same position as your mum for a few years (she's also a single parent) and it's hard to watch them stressing over every penny which they've spent. Tell your mum that you're there for her but understand that if she doesn't feel like talking, don't try to push it. Anything to do with money, whether it be lending a person money, etc. can be a touchy subject and it could be that your mum feels too proud to say anything, which is why she might not have told you...
Reply 11
I second Juno's advice - try CCCS. My housemate was in 18k worth of debt and in a mess and they really sorted him out, they stopped the interest and negotiated with his creditors plus it stopped all the nasty letters coming to our house for him.
Tell her to try eurodebt. they negotiate with creditors so she pays back reeeeally gradually. Same happened to us, i empathise.
Reply 13
By the way you can't "stop paying interest", CCCS/eurodebt whoever it is will write to your creditors telling them what you can pay and that they can take it or leave it. Almost certainly it will screw your credit rating to high heaven (which isn't necessarily a bad thing I guess).
Reply 14
Eurodebt charge. CCCS don't.