Keep anon.
Living at home is starting to become unbearable.
I am a software engineering student that has had to take the year off due to medical reasons. (I wont go into it, but it isn't depression)
My parents are not sympathetic, nor are my siblings - they see me as wasting the year. Ok, I have been looking for a job and so far I have had no luck, nobody ever seems to get back to me even for an interview. Retail jobs are hard to get, as there are no vacancies at the moment. Signed up for everything, reed, hays, job centre etc
Every day since christmas my mother has been telling every single one of my relatives how I will not be successful. This is nothing new, as she said the same thing at the start of my degree. She tells me to wait until after my degree to sort my medical condition out, but what she does not realise is that it is a long procedure and I need to at least get it started. It is affecting me academically, which is why I had to stop for the moment.
She has a short fuse with me now, and just a minor thing can potentially lead to something catastrophic. I do intend to go back to university, and I have been studying in the mean time until I get a job . This involves me spending a lot of time on the PC, as you can imagine. My parents see me as wasting time being on the PC, when really I am programming. If I try to explain to them what I am doing, they won't believe me, and just think that I spend all my time talking to my 'girlfriends'. (I have MSN running in the background.). Normally I don't have MSN running in the background as I do find it distracting, only late evening I am using it after I have done my work for the day.
Today, my contract phone bill came in, and for reasons unknown to me it was large - I have no clue why as I kept within my free minutes. I need to chase them up about it. I got a few slaps from the mother who went ballistic, and she has now threatened to be kick me out. For one month now all I have heard from her is how I won't be successful; how I am lazy and basically getting no encouragement at all. I do not argue back now because her mood is so volatile, and just keep to myself.
Even when I was at university, I found that I could not enjoy my course at all because I knew if I failed at any point, it would result to this. I did not get encouragement then either, just pressure. I remembered how I used to panic so much if I didn't get aspects of my course because of the reprocussions that could result from this. They tell me they want the best for me, but in order to do my degree I need confidence and I need to use the computer otherwise it defeats the point. I am starting to get my confidence back in my subject after doing work in it, but I seem to get more and more demoralised everytime this happens, to the point that I have even contemplated changing my degree so I can study discreetly. I would move out, can't stand it here. I know at this rate I will get depressed eventually. But I have no cash at the moment, instead I am looking for a job applying to place after place. So until then I will have to put up with this. What would you do?