The Student Room Group

He thinks i'm too good for him

Last saturday-me and my boyfriend had a heart to heart and he basically said he thinks i'm too good for him-because i'm smart beautiful etc-at times posh/sophisticated-maybe it may be best to end things now before we fall in love. I was :eek: and we talked it all through and the thought went out of his head, and everything has been really good between us.

But last night on the phone i said somethings to him in jest-stuff that he's said to me before and vice versa -i called him simple-i meant as in slow-nothing we've not said before and then he said a word and i was like say it properly-he has a london accent-i'm from birmingham-so he corrects the way i say stuff all the time! lol.
But i must have hit a major nerve because he was so quiet on the phone-and wouldn't tell me what was wrong.-he had to go but then we got back on the phone later as he called to see if i was alright-as i'd gone quiet on the phone-the way he said bye to me was weird so i rang him back and he told me i'd pissed him off by saying those things to him and that it just brought the whole "you're too good for me" issue back into his head-(this really breaks my heart cause i can't understand it).

He thinks that he's gonna do something wrong to break my heart-and he really doesn't want to hurt me-i maintained the point that i cld be the one to mess things up between us-giving the fact that i hurt his feelings with my words. He also partly thinks that i may realise that "i'm too good for him" sometime in the future and hurt him by finding someone "better"- (Don't think he has low self esteem cause he doesn't-so that's why i don't get this). The whole irony of it all is that sometimes i have no idea what he sees in me-he gets so much attention from girls-pretty ones at that.

Has anyone else had to deal with a situation like this-what did you do?

What can i do to show him that he is more than good enough for me?
he has self-esteem issues.

you need to constantly reassure him, and don't joke with him about things like that, he'll take them seriously as he sees it as you trying to make him 'better'
I get a similar thing from my boyfriend.

He sometimes thinks that while I'm at uni, I'm going to find someone better than him, and cheat on him, or split up with him.

I'm fairly sure we talked(well texted) this through before Christmas, and everythings fine now.

I hope he realises now, that he is perfect for me and I don't want anyone else!

So talking it through helped us, but you said you've already done that. Maybe talk again, reassure him. I've had to tell mine loads of times, over the course of our relationship, that I don't want anyone else. Just talk it through with him, whenever it gets brought up, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

Hope everything works out for you!
Yeah... I'd agree with him having self-esteem issues, at least in dealing with other loved ones.

:biggrin: Negative thoughts for the win? Why not just treasure the moment you have together instead of worrying about the future?
Just tell him you are with him because you want him.
Nigel
Maybe he actually wants out and is trying to twist it round so you're the one that feels guilty? Sounds like a prick to me.


kind of think this could be a reason and think this is what my bf was doing with me...so we have finished now
Reply 6
lol I wish it was as simple as just getting rid of him-i'm falling in love with him-so i cnt bare to let him go! I wish i knew how to think before i speak-the things i said to him were so unecessary!

Our phone convo ended pretty well but i know at the back of his mind he's still thinking it.
Somepeople may have emotional 'moments' for no good reason and some issues that have been discussed before may have suddenly become a sensitive issue over night (perhaps he'd heard someone say something somewhere else). I've been in a similar situation with a friend once and the result was she was trying to push me away...but i doubt your bf's that mean to you and you do mean a lot to him. For a guy being inferior to a girl is a big issue and can hurt their pride, so you need extra care in dealing with this. To help ensure him (this maybe a stupid idea but i'm just throwing it in anyway), show you love him and will never look for someone 'better' so long as he's with you, make it public, make it clear to your friends and his friends that you're good together (in other words find witness). Maybe that will help improve his confidence.
Do not try flirting with other people...it can break many hearts, especially if he's the sensitive type: yours, his, the poor guy who was used.
Possibly a phase?? Maybe just be serious and tell him to stop attempting to get the sympathy vote. That's all it sounds like to me - he wants your sympathy. Either he'll get over it eventually or you'll just have to prove his conjecture.
u should tell him that whether or not you are too good for him is your decision and not his
EmoBoyKissing
i think the best thing to do is make him realise how much he's going to miss you if you were to split up. make yourself look really nice and flirt with people and he'll soon see that he either has to get over whatever issues he has or lose you


The guy is insecure enough about himself and her, so don't make it worse by showing he might be right. Try to do the opposite, and show you really love him.