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Does age matter?

I know there is probably loads of posts about age related relationships.

But I have a straight forward question:

Does age matter?

If it does, how so?...

If it doesn't, why not?...

Recently, I got talking to a guy who's aged 20-21 and I'm going to be 27, he seems like a sweetheart, but I'm watching my step...
I used to have this thing about age, never go for the younger ones. Am I right to pursue this or shall I listen to my own wisdom?

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Original post by Salma26
I know there is probably loads of posts about age related relationships.

But I have a straight forward question:

Does age matter?

If it does, how so?...

If it doesn't, why not?...

Recently, I got talking to a guy who's aged 20-21 and I'm going to be 27, he seems like a sweetheart, but I'm watching my step...
I used to have this thing about age, never go for the younger ones. Am I right to pursue this or shall I listen to my own wisdom?

the question you need to ask is do you have the same goals in life at the moment and similar plans for the future.
Yes, because...

There is the legal age
There is also the fact that two people at different stages of life probably won't be compatible. For example, it is okay for a 19 year old and 16/17 if they are both in sixth form. But its abit different if the 19y.o is in uni ,because they have a different lifestyle IMO (still saying that is okay, but a bit unusual
Reply 3
I guess that depends on you.

I've seen it go either way really, if both of you are committed then it can work.
Reply 4
Original post by SuperHuman98
Yes, because...

There is the legal age
There is also the fact that two people at different stages of life probably won't be compatible. For example, it is okay for a 19 year old and 16/17 if they are both in sixth form. But its abit different if the 19y.o is in uni ,because they have a different lifestyle IMO (still saying that is okay, but a bit unusual


totally agree, would say same rule applied with a 16 year old in secondary dating someone in college just moving slyly noncy
Reply 5
Once both parties involved are of legal age, it doesn't really matter. The issues surrounding age tend to arise as people are more likely to be at different stages of life, therefore likely to want different things from a relationship. This can apply to interests, mentality and so on. In your case, I don't see the latter as much of a problem. However, you will never know unless you get to know him further.
Reply 6
Original post by Salma26
I know there is probably loads of posts about age related relationships.

But I have a straight forward question:

Does age matter?

If it does, how so?...

If it doesn't, why not?...

Recently, I got talking to a guy who's aged 20-21 and I'm going to be 27, he seems like a sweetheart, but I'm watching my step...
I used to have this thing about age, never go for the younger ones. Am I right to pursue this or shall I listen to my own wisdom?




what are your expectations and wants in a relationship?

you then need to ask yourself is a 20 year old going to have those same expectations and wants.

On the last series of celebs go dating there was this 37 year old woman who kept going on dates with good looking/handsome 20 - 23 year old men and trying to lock them down and get them to commit to having a baby in 6mths...

she's right to be hasty as her fertility window is closing fast, but is your typical handsome 20 year old looking to settle down? ..most are not as she found out......

age might and might not be an issue for you, it depends entirely on you and him. however as there is a bit of a gap it is important imo to ask him the relevant questions so you can decide if this relationship will be aligned with your expectations..., and if it's not, either don't date him or date him casually knowing it's not going to lead anywhere longterm and keep your eye open for someone more suitable
(edited 6 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by ANM775
what are your expectations and wants in a relationship?

you then need to ask yourself is a 20 year old going to have those same expectations and wants.

On the last series of celebs go dating there was this 37 year old woman who kept going on dates with good looking/handsome 20 - 23 year old men and trying to lock them down and get them to commit to having a baby in 6mths...

she's right to be hasty as her fertility window is closing fast, but is your typical handsome 20 year old looking to settle down? ..most are not as she found out......

age might and might not be an issue for you, it depends entirely on you and him. however as there is a bit of a gap it is important imo to ask him the relevant questions so you can decide if this relationship will be aligned with your expectations..., and if it's not, either don't date him or date him casually knowing it's not going to lead anywhere longterm and keep your eye open for someone more suitable


Tbh, I am not looking to settle down, I'm just looking to experience a healthy relationship with someone for the first time.

What sort of questions should I ask him? I've just only started to talk to him and I don't want the conversation to get 'heavy' yet, I like it how it is atm, just normal day flowing conversation.

Thank you all for your input, it has been helpful.:smile:
Reply 8
Original post by claireestelle
the question you need to ask is do you have the same goals in life at the moment and similar plans for the future.


Thanks, I'll bring this into conversation when the time is right. It's abit too soon to be asking Questions like these from the get go.
Original post by Salma26
Tbh, I am not looking to settle down, I'm just looking to experience a healthy relationship with someone for the first time.

What sort of questions should I ask him? I've just only started to talk to him and I don't want the conversation to get 'heavy' yet, I like it how it is atm, just normal day flowing conversation.

Thank you all for your input, it has been helpful.:smile:


Thats a problem , you may have - I dont think many 20/21 year olds are at the point to wanting to settle down. Im 23 and I know I'm not. He might be different though, but even though its only 6ish years which is a fne gap (My parents its 5, my grandparents it was 7), you are at different stages of life (Im assuming)

But yah, dont let the convo get heavy yet. How many gf's has he had before as that I find might make a difference, as Ive only had one so maybe thats why Im not ready to settle down with anyone just yet.
Original post by Jack22031994
Thats a problem , you may have - I dont think many 20/21 year olds are at the point to wanting to settle down. Im 23 and I know I'm not. He might be different though, but even though its only 6ish years which is a fne gap (My parents its 5, my grandparents it was 7), you are at different stages of life (Im assuming)

But yah, dont let the convo get heavy yet. How many gf's has he had before as that I find might make a difference, as Ive only had one so maybe thats why Im not ready to settle down with anyone just yet.


I settled down at 18 but I think I m in the minorities :tongue:
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Salma26
Thanks, I'll bring this into conversation when the time is right. It's abit too soon to be asking Questions like these from the get go.

As long as you re both on the same page whatever that is at the moment.
Ask him if he has any STDs.
Reply 13
Original post by Salma26
Tbh, I am not looking to settle down, I'm just looking to experience a healthy relationship with someone for the first time.

What sort of questions should I ask him? I've just only started to talk to him and I don't want the conversation to get 'heavy' yet, I like it how it is atm, just normal day flowing conversation.

Thank you all for your input, it has been helpful.:smile:




ok, so you don't want to settle down ....so probably there is less to worry about in terms of compatibility.

still though, if i put myself in a 25/26 year old female's position I might want to ask him what he does for a living, and if he's still a student or something and i'm earning £££ ...he might be unable to fit in with the lifestyle I wish to lead if I do not pay for him. I know some women are like that?

Also at 25/26 as a female you are more likely to be living on your own than him who is 20/21 and may still be with parents. Some women will not date a guy who still lives with his parents. If this is you, then it would be best to find out this info sooner or later.

Also at 25/26 most females peak parting days are behind them. At 20-21 your guy still might be going out to parties and clubs 3 or 4 times a week [especially if he's a student], some people are not that happy about their partner spending so much time in such venue's when in a relationship, so if this is you ..you might want to inquire about social activities....

Probably you're not thinking about kids/marriage/buying a property together as you said you're not looking to settle down, but if you were i'd be looking to bring up these subjects during the first few weeks given the age gap to make sure you're both on the same page...........
Original post by claireestelle
I settled down at 18 but I think I m in the minorities :tongue:


I defo couldnt then, but if I had met the right girl, who knows? Same with now I guess too! I'm happy single though, although it would be nice to have a gf as I do miss the companionship that comes from it, you dont get with other relationships you have.
Original post by Jack22031994
I defo couldnt then, but if I had met the right girl, who knows? Same with now I guess too! I'm happy single though, although it would be nice to have a gf as I do miss the companionship that comes from it, you dont get with other relationships you have.

Yeah, I just happened to me the right person then. Yeah it is a different type of companionship.
5 yr age difference when you're 16 is major. 5 yr age difference when you're in 40's, pretty irrelevant. Rule of thumb, back in the day was; older partner, half the age, and add 7 yrs, is socially acceptable youngest partner. EG...

20 yr old with no younger than a 17 yr old, 40yr old with no younger than a 27 yr old, 60 yr old with no younger than a 37 yr old etc. Anything outside that rule of thumb, just, to many, seems suspect or a little creepy. Signs of manipulation, or daddy/mummy issues.
Original post by claireestelle
Yeah, I just happened to me the right person then. Yeah it is a different type of companionship.


Yeah it is! As said, although Im happy single, I do miss it :frown:
Original post by Salma26
I know there is probably loads of posts about age related relationships.

But I have a straight forward question:

Does age matter?

If it does, how so?...

If it doesn't, why not?...

Recently, I got talking to a guy who's aged 20-21 and I'm going to be 27, he seems like a sweetheart, but I'm watching my step...
I used to have this thing about age, never go for the younger ones. Am I right to pursue this or shall I listen to my own wisdom?


there are many examples of successful relationships between people with a significant age gap:

https://www.thesun.ie/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2017/05/nintchdbpict000323857973.jpg?strip=all&w=960&quality=100

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/images/2017/04/fry2_640x345_acf_cropped-1.jpg

it just needs work, like any relationship.

good luck !!
long as they are legal its your choice, long as Ur both comfortable with it and your together for the right reason get the netflix on and let the magic happen

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