Have a mate who goes out sober to pull drunk girls and its starting to worry me Watch

Anonymous #1
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Back at school he would always make up excuses to not drink at all or even pretend to drink at house parties yet he would often get with very drunk girls (ie. kissing) whilst completely sober, subsequently we used to jokingly call him the sober predator as at the time just kissing didn't really concern us.
However since he has been at uni he has slept with 12 girls he tells me and he said only 2 of them were sober at the time, when i asked if he was also drunk he said only a couple of times as "he only drinks one day a week for reasons of maintaining sports performance but still goes out sober and pulls" after which he laughed.
I find his attitude towards getting with drunk girls sober very concerning and I really feel like having a very serious word with him about it but really not sure how to go about it.
Any ideas on how to knock some reality of the dangers he's taking into him before he gets in serious sh*t through his actions?
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xEmilyxx
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Tell him that if any of the girls he sleeps with feels strongly about it, he could be reported for rape. Being intoxicated means you cannot give consent.
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ParkHyungSuk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Back at school he would always make up excuses to not drink at all or even pretend to drink at house parties yet he would often get with very drunk girls (ie. kissing) whilst completely sober, subsequently we used to jokingly call him the sober predator as at the time just kissing didn't really concern us.
However since he has been at uni he has slept with 12 girls he tells me and he said only 2 of them were sober at the time, when i asked if he was also drunk he said only a couple of times as "he only drinks one day a week for reasons of maintaining sports performance but still goes out sober and pulls" after which he laughed.
I find his attitude towards getting with drunk girls sober very concerning and I really feel like having a very serious word with him about it but really not sure how to go about it.
Any ideas on how to knock some reality of the dangers he's taking into him before he gets in serious sh*t through his actions?
How many STIs contracted?
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SMEGGGY
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They obviously consent so why worry.

Even drunk girls need some lovin'

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mapachette
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
They obviously consent so why worry.

Even drunk girls need some lovin'

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Nope, they're not consenting.
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by mapachette)
Nope, they're not consenting.
You are present? How do you know the amount they've consumed? That they don't say '**** me?'



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killerjayko
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
You are present? How do you know the amount they've consumed? That they don't say '**** me?'



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If theyre drunk they cant consent no matter what they say
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Acsel
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
You are present? How do you know the amount they've consumed? That they don't say '**** me?'



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In the eyes of the law, someone who is intoxicated cannot give informed consent. They can literally say "**** me" and it wouldn't be considered consent in many cases because they were drunk. But more importantly in this scenario, if the other person is completely sober, they are entirely at fault as it was an intentional way to take advantage of someone who was drunk.

To the OP: Your "friend" sounds vile. I would make this known to him and recommend that he stops before he gets himself charged with rape, or gets someone pregnant. Failing that, find yourself a new friend.
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Waldorf67
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It depends if he’s actively pursuing drunk girls to take advantage of their vulnerable state, or whether he’s just one of the lucky ones who can enjoy a night out sober?
It could just be that he’s good at pulling, and a lot of girls in that environment are drunk to some degree. So by chance the girls he ends up with are drunk?
Unless, it’s always the girls who are completely out of it, in which case alarm bells do ring.

You always get those seedy boys in clubs who hover around the girls who behave the most dunk. I recall recently on a night out, I crouched down to redo the straps on my heels, and this guy thought I fell down because I was drunk, and grabbed my shoulder to “support” me, and fussed over me. He was probably thinking I was easy because I was drunk. It really bugged me, the false look of sincerity on his face. If I saw a boy who I believe was intoxicated, I’d find it a turn off.
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by mapachette)
Nope, they're not consenting.
(Original post by Acsel)
In the eyes of the law, someone who is intoxicated cannot give informed consent. They can literally say "**** me" and it wouldn't be considered consent in many cases because they were drunk. But more importantly in this scenario, if the other person is completely sober, they are entirely at fault as it was an intentional way to take advantage of someone who was drunk.

To the OP: Your "friend" sounds vile. I would make this known to him and recommend that he stops before he gets himself charged with rape, or gets someone pregnant. Failing that, find yourself a new friend.
By law, being drunk does not automatically mean your are unable to give consent. The law states that the person "agrees by choice… and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice". The degree to which a person is drunk is everything, and if the case were to go to court then it may be that the case relies on witnesses to determine how drunk a potential victim of rape really was. Unless a person is so drunk that they're incoherent, they are still able to make choices to an acceptable degree and have the freedom and capacity to do so. If they're so drunk that they're literally having to be carried to the taxi or whatever and can't walk to an acceptable standard, then you'd assume that they're in no fit state to consent.
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TheFarmerLad
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Sorry but unless he's forcefully brought them back to his and 50 shades of greyed them he's hasn't exactly done anything wrong
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slider2000
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I do a similar thing to him myself, which is to go for girls who are drunk while i myself do not get drunk and i know that girls could make false rape accusations so i just record the sex with a secret camera in my room so she cannot claim rape.
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ChickenMadness
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Unless he's kidnapping them it's not really a big deal lol. If they don't want to shag him they can go home with their friends or say 'I'm not having sex with you', report him to one of the bouncers, etc. You're not retarded when you're drunk. Unless you've blacked out.
I always find it annoying when people get presumptuous about you when they think you're drunk.

I'm not really into drunk girls though. My ex was a mega alcoholic and was kind of a crazy ***** when she was drunk lmao.
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SMEGGGY
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(Original post by slider2000)
I do a similar thing to him myself, which is to go for girls who are drunk while i myself do not get drunk and i know that girls could make false rape accusations so i just record the sex with a secret camera in my room so she cannot claim rape.
Made me chuckle

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slider2000
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
Made me chuckle

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Why?
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CaitlinM1
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(Original post by SMEGGGY)
You are present? How do you know the amount they've consumed? That they don't say '**** me?'



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They are right, you CANNOT consent when under the influence of alcohol therefore it constitutes as rape
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Napp
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(Original post by CaitlinM1)
They are right, you CANNOT consent when under the influence of alcohol therefore it constitutes as rape
By that logic the majority of the population have been 'raped'.
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Acsel
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(Original post by It's****ingWOODY)
By law, being drunk does not automatically mean your are unable to give consent. The law states that the person "agrees by choice… and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice". The degree to which a person is drunk is everything, and if the case were to go to court then it may be that the case relies on witnesses to determine how drunk a potential victim of rape really was. Unless a person is so drunk that they're incoherent, they are still able to make choices to an acceptable degree and have the freedom and capacity to do so. If they're so drunk that they're literally having to be carried to the taxi or whatever and can't walk to an acceptable standard, then you'd assume that they're in no fit state to consent.
While that is true, being drunk affects your ability to communicate clearly and concisely. Someone who is drunk can say yes but whether that is consent is something that would be decided on a case by case basis. However in all cases, being drunk will play a factor in that and you can't absolutely say that you would make the same decision while sober.

And incidentally, there is a completely other point of view here that I imagine many people will miss. Maybe the guy is sober and the girl is drunk. Maybe she knows full well that she gave consent. But she claims she was raped. This is an exceptionally difficult scenario for the guy to be in because not only is he being accused of rape but from many perspectives he was taking advantage of a drunk girl to do so. This can be used maliciously by the female just as much as being drunk might mean she didn't really give consent.

There are of course different levels of drunk and being intoxicated does not immediately mean it was rape. However a lot of women might not agree that their drunk sex was given consent. And if that is enough to get them to accuse the guy of rape then it'll cause issues, regardless of whether he is charged with it.

I never said he would be convicted or rape. But it's far more likely when you're having sex with someone who is drunk that they might change their mind after the fact, or that the consent was not given to begin with. There is no getting around this and it's very difficult to prove one way or another. When you've got one person who was drunk and another who was not, that's a very sticky situation to be in
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by CaitlinM1)
They are right, you CANNOT consent when under the influence of alcohol therefore it constitutes as rape
Not strictly true though is it?

Anyway it's funny how everyone is responsible for their own actions when intoxicted yet when it comes to sex it's different.
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ANM775
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not strictly true though is it?

Anyway it's funny how everyone is responsible for their own actions when intoxicted yet when it comes to sex it's different.


A woman couldn't rob a bank when drunk, or shoot a person in the head when drunk and pull a "I was intoxicated so not responsible for my actions"

So I don't know why they expect if they consensually have sex with a guy when they are drunk [self induced drunkenness] to suddenly be able to claim rape if she wakes up in the morning and decides she regrets it....

Is every guy supposed to walk around with a breathalyzer in his back pocket so he can access your drunkenness?

I'm sorry ladies the law doesn't quite work like that...

If you have sex with a guy, consent to it and are drunk it is not rape in the eye's of the law.

If it were, our jails would actually be overflowing by now
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