The Student Room Group

Should I give it another chance...or when to let it die?

Original post by Jaga93
I have been my girlfriend for 3 years, and although we have had tough times, she is the best thing that happened to me. However, life has kind of gotten in the way of love...there are issues that have driven us apart. I'm at uni now, whilst she works, and as such I feel like we are on slightly different paths. She is also not the best partner, and has proven pretty selfish and has been deceptive to me and I don't trust her anymore. My family and friends also do not like her.

Despite all this, I am still immensely in love with her, and I know she is with me. Although I feel that realistically the best thing to do is to go our own way, the thought of letting her go and living different lives, the concept of her becoming just a memory, breaks my heart.

Well, over Christmas we had a bit ot a peaceful fallout, and have avoided each other for days. I have been told by others that I should move on and that I 'can do better' which doesn't really help. I don't want to think about other women, I just want her. She has been urging me to give her a chance to change and that she understands what she has been doing wrong and that she would like to be the right person...but Idk, I don't want to put trust and faith in her if she is just going to go back to her old ways, I will feel like I wasted time I could have spent moving on.

My head is telling me that I should start the moving on process and let her go...but I still love this girl with every piece of me and want nothing more than for us to work out and be happy together, I know she loves and admires me immensely and I don't really want to throw that away.

So what should I do? Do I follow my heart or my head?


Does sound to me like it may have run its course this relationship, to me it looks like you are looking for an excuse to get out.

Should I give it another chance...or when to let it die?

Original post by Jaga93
I have been my girlfriend for 3 years, and although we have had tough times, she is the best thing that happened to me. However, life has kind of gotten in the way of love...there are issues that have driven us apart. I'm at uni now, whilst she works, and as such I feel like we are on slightly different paths. She is also not the best partner, and has proven pretty selfish and has been deceptive to me and I don't trust her anymore. My family and friends also do not like her.

Despite all this, I am still immensely in love with her, and I know she is with me. Although I feel that realistically the best thing to do is to go our own way, the thought of letting her go and living different lives, the concept of her becoming just a memory, breaks my heart.

Well, over Christmas we had a bit ot a peaceful fallout, and have avoided each other for days. I have been told by others that I should move on and that I 'can do better' which doesn't really help. I don't want to think about other women, I just want her. She has been urging me to give her a chance to change and that she understands what she has been doing wrong and that she would like to be the right person...but Idk, I don't want to put trust and faith in her if she is just going to go back to her old ways, I will feel like I wasted time I could have spent moving on.

My head is telling me that I should start the moving on process and let her go...but I still love this girl with every piece of me and want nothing more than for us to work out and be happy together, I know she loves and admires me immensely and I don't really want to throw that away.

So what should I do? Do I follow my heart or my head?


Does sound to me like it may have run its course this relationship, to me it looks like you are looking for an excuse to get out.
Do whatever feels natural to you:

Grab a dice: Numbers 1-3 you break up with her, numbers 4-6, you stay with her.

Role the dice- Are you satisfied with the number you land on completely? Are you disappointed that you didn't get the other option?

If you're disappointed with the outcome then you have picked the wrong option.

Okay, so you don't physically have to grab a dice and throw it, but the concept remains. Also, I think it's very difficult to decide things like this on a chat-room- we're strangers and can't really understand the extent of the relationship. However, it seems like you are coming up with counter- arguments to the contradict the points that she loves you and you love her. Love is not entirely substantial to a well functioning relationship. It seems like you are coming up with excuses and perhaps proves subconsciously that you don't want to be in the relationship at all.

Good luck
normally I'd say head, but this time I think give it another chance. if it doesn't work then you might just have to give it up. a relationship shouldn't be this much hard work. that said, how can you be so in love with someone you don't trust and find selfish? breakups aren't easy even when they're the right thing to do

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