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Guys sometimes make dating exhausting watch

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    I know what I am saying doesn't apply to all guys, but this is the experience I have had a few times.

    Guys can sometimes be so exhausting. No guys make the first move anymore (in terms of you already know each other before dating/not a night club setting). You have to clearly show that you like them in order to encourage them, but if you come across as too enthusiastic they get turned off. Every guy I have dated, I have asked out. Then once you are dating you have to be elusive and. tiptoe around so you can give the guy the chance to slowly like you, in case they get scared of commitment too early. It's so tiring.

    Do any other girls have this experience, and guys what are your thoughts?
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    I know what I am saying doesn't apply to all guys, but this is the experience I have had a few times.

    Guys can sometimes be so exhausting. No guys make the first move anymore (in terms of you already know each other before dating/not a night club setting). You have to clearly show that you like them in order to encourage them, but if you come across as too enthusiastic they get turned off. Every guy I have dated, I have asked out. Then once you are dating you have to be elusive and. tiptoe around so you can give the guy the chance to slowly like you, in case they get scared of commitment too early. It's so tiring.

    Do any other girls have this experience, and guys what are your thoughts?
    yes and its soooo annoying. mentally exhausting

    i was in a 'exclusive' relationship for a year..... every time i asked to make things serious an argument would arise, he refused to call me his.... in the end he left me and got a GIRLFRIEND a few months later i am a 100% he was talking to her while 'seeing me'

    and now, i feel like my new man, is bored of me after a month of being exclusive

    i wish it was like the good old days, youre either my boyfriend or youre not!!! i hate this exclusive stuff, its like a 14 day free trial where one person (usually me) gets attached, used and left behind :sad:
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    I know what I am saying doesn't apply to all guys, but this is the experience I have had a few times.

    Guys can sometimes be so exhausting. No guys make the first move anymore (in terms of you already know each other before dating/not a night club setting). You have to clearly show that you like them in order to encourage them, but if you come across as too enthusiastic they get turned off. Every guy I have dated, I have asked out. Then once you are dating you have to be elusive and. tiptoe around so you can give the guy the chance to slowly like you, in case they get scared of commitment too early. It's so tiring.

    Do any other girls have this experience, and guys what are your thoughts?
    Those guys were never keen on you in the first place. That is the problem I see here.
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    yes and its soooo annoying. mentally exhausting

    i was in a 'exclusive' relationship for a year..... every time i asked to make things serious an argument would arise, he refused to call me his.... in the end he left me and got a GIRLFRIEND a few months later i am a 100% he was talking to her while 'seeing me'

    and now, i feel like my new man, is bored of me after a month of being exclusive

    i wish it was like the good old days, youre either my boyfriend or youre not!!! i hate this exclusive stuff, its like a 14 day free trial where one person (usually me) gets attached, used and left behind :sad:

    Same issue here with the OP. The guy was never that keen on you, hence the "exclusive" tag. He never used you he made that clear with such an arrangement (which you accepted initially) but yes if he cared for you even as a friend, he could have considered your feelings.
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    (Original post by Zelex)
    Same issue here with the OP. The guy was never that keen on you, hence the "exclusive" tag. He never used you he made that clear with such an arrangement (which you accepted initially) but yes if he cared for you even as a friend, he could have considered your feelings.
    why would you drag it out for a year tho?
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    (Original post by num.7)
    What do you mean?
    A couple of the guys I asked out said they liked me and glad I asked them out, but they also said they would never have asked me themselves.

    By tiptoeing around, I mean that you had to show you were interested and be yourself, but you have to hide when you start having feelings for them in case it scares them off. So it sometimes feel like you are walking on a rickety bridge.
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    I know what I am saying doesn't apply to all guys, but this is the experience I have had a few times.

    Guys can sometimes be so exhausting. No guys make the first move anymore (in terms of you already know each other before dating/not a night club setting). You have to clearly show that you like them in order to encourage them, but if you come across as too enthusiastic they get turned off. Every guy I have dated, I have asked out. Then once you are dating you have to be elusive and. tiptoe around so you can give the guy the chance to slowly like you, in case they get scared of commitment too early. It's so tiring.

    Do any other girls have this experience, and guys what are your thoughts?
    Shouldn't matter who makes the first move as long as someone does and neither person places silly games.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Shouldn't matter who makes the first move as long as someone does and neither person places silly games.
    thats what kids are doing these days though, playing games and mind tricks, its not cool and its wasting time tooo!!

    i wish i was born in the era where dating and romance used to be cool and not considered cringy
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    A couple of the guys I asked out said they liked me and glad I asked them out, but they also said they would never have asked me themselves.

    By tiptoeing around, I mean that you had to show you were interested and be yourself, but you have to hide when you start having feelings for them in case it scares them off. So it sometimes feel like you are walking on a rickety bridge.
    cuz catching feelings isnt what lads do innit ( )
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    why would you drag it out for a year tho?
    It may have been convenient for him to keep it going for that long, maybe you don't live too far from him and he enjoys physical intimacy. After 3 months if he hasn't seen the qualities in you to make you his girlfriend, he never will.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Shouldn't matter who makes the first move as long as someone does and neither person places silly games.
    I have the same experience, I always make the first move and it would be nice and a breath of fresh air for a guy to make the first move for once.
    Right now, I really like this guy and before Xmas he took our mutual friend outside to tell her that he thought I was gorgeous and was really into me. she told him to go for it (I had no idea this had happened until after the party finished), but he never did. that was before Xmas and we have been chatting regularly online since then. But maybe he has changed his mind, or....?
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    (Original post by Zelex)
    It may have been convenient for him to keep it going for that long, maybe you don't live too far from him and he enjoys physical intimacy. After 3 months if he hasn't seen the qualities in you to make you his girlfriend, he never will.
    nah it was a LDR
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    cuz catching feelings isnt what lads do innit ( )
    I don't believe that guys never catch feelings, and I did say my post doesn't apply to all guys. I just wanted some insight into whether the guys that I have dated are aware that this is what they do
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    (Original post by RLinds)
    I don't believe that guys never catch feelings, and I did say my post doesn't apply to all guys. I just wanted some insight into whether the guys that I have dated are aware that this is what they do
    apprentley they say (a study was conducted) guys 21+ catch feelings by the 5th date... maybe they get scared or worried etc and back off?! idk
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have the same experience, I always make the first move and it would be nice and a breath of fresh air for a guy to make the first move for once.
    Right now, I really like this guy and before Xmas he took our mutual friend outside to tell her that he thought I was gorgeous and was really into me. she told him to go for it (I had no idea this had happened until after the party finished), but he never did. that was before Xmas and we have been chatting regularly online since then. But maybe he has changed his mind, or....?
    Like I said it doesn't matter if you are that person who likes another person then you should be honest and just say it.
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    (Original post by Zelex)
    It may have been convenient for him to keep it going for that long, maybe you don't live too far from him and he enjoys physical intimacy. After 3 months if he hasn't seen the qualities in you to make you his girlfriend, he never will.
    Three months? Three ****ing months?

    It takes less than a week, maybe two if you're pushing it.
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    (Original post by num.7)
    Three months? Three ****ing months?

    It takes less than a week, maybe two if you're pushing it.
    exactly!! you can tell within the first date maybe second if theyre a keeper or not
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    (Original post by CleverSquirrel)
    apprentley they say (a study was conducted) guys 21+ catch feelings by the 5th date... maybe they get scared or worried etc and back off?! idk
    Maybe!
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    Like I said it doesn't matter if you are that person who likes another person then you should be honest and just say it.
    That's true. I shouldn't be s coward because I do quite like him!
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    (Original post by num.7)
    Three months? Three ****ing months?

    It takes less than a week, maybe two if you're pushing it.
    Nah..that's if you are keen on someone, serious about a boyfriend/girlfriend partnership. Not if you are unsure hence tagging the relationship "exclusive" aka seeing if better comes along.
 
 
 
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