I think any christian is lying if they don't from time to time question their beliefs. I accept people have very good reasons for disagreeing with christianity/religion/theism/spirituality etc. and sometimes i'm taken in by them for a time. Sometimes i hate it that i'm convinced in what i believe- sometimes i'd love to go out and drink as much as i like, hook up and sleep with someone and not have to be bothered by my conviction that God wants me to behave differently. Often i really don't wanna go and talk to people about what i believe, essentially telling them that they're gonna go to hell unless they change their mindset and be seen as the freak who hasn't quite outgrown the 'fairytales'. It's perfectly understandable that half the people here just want us to piss off and leave them alone- i mean what have i got to offer them? A free lunch and an unconvincing promise that if they become just like me and give up everything they enjoy somehow their life will be better? That they won't go to the hell they don't believe exists?
And yet, despite all this, somehow my life is better with Jesus than it's been at any other time. As much as i try to run away from it, something keeps pulling me back to my faith, my trust in God, and the conviction that i should behave differently accordingly, not because God'll stop liking me if i don't, but because He's calling me to something more. I don't understand it- if it's false my life is wasted, and so many people tell me that it is, or that i can't be sure, yet there is something there that convinces me otherwise, that tells me to keep going, that reminds of all that has changed (all things that could of happened in many other rational ways, but all nonetheless seemingly through and because i became a christian); these experiences resonate with just about every christian i've spoken to about this.