I'm really sad at my best friend

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
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So I've been friends with them for about 2 years. We share most things with each other. I've been really supportive of them when they've especially recently when things have been really hard.

Recently their flatmate messaged them saying I'd been talking about them behind their back. I have no idea what the flatmate is on about as I never speak to him ever. My friend now no longer trusts me and its making me really sad. I've tried apologising but I don't know what I'm apologising for and I cant speak to the flatmate because my friend has told me not to. I'm in a really difficult position because I don't know what to do.

I feel like I've lost my BF trust but I don't know what I've done wrong. I'm really upset about it. Any advice? Thanks
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anonymous0518
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#2
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Honestly, I'd try speak to them again. It seems as though you really care about them. Obviously, clear the situation and make it clear that you haven't of course been talking behind their back. I wouldn't want to leave it any longer because you may lose their trust even more. Try and sort it out as soon as you feel comfortable talking to them and clearing the air.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So I've been friends with them for about 2 years. We share most things with each other. I've been really supportive of them when they've especially recently when things have been really hard.

Recently their flatmate messaged them saying I'd been talking about them behind their back. I have no idea what the flatmate is on about as I never speak to him ever. My friend now no longer trusts me and its making me really sad. I've tried apologising but I don't know what I'm apologising for and I cant speak to the flatmate because my friend has told me not to. I'm in a really difficult position because I don't know what to do.

I feel like I've lost my BF trust but I don't know what I've done wrong. I'm really upset about it. Any advice? Thanks
^^
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bones-mccoy
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If your friend of 2 years has believed the flatmate and not even spoken to you to discuss what may or may not have happened, then she's not worth your time. I've never understood why people jump the gun and don't just speak to both parties themselves and make a rational decision based on that. Does she have any proof you've been talking behind her back apart from the flatmate's word?
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jimmythebee
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Why don't you try to talk to the flatmate anyway? You might get to know if he/she is talking ******** or if the flatmate refers to something you can't even remember and it is a big missunderstanding? Maybe this is how you can find a way you can rebuild trust with your friend. Why do your friend don't want you to talk to the flatmate? I can't understand that.
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Arima
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why are you apologising if youre not guilty of anything? if you want to clear up a wrongdoing - i.e your flatmate talking **** - then shouldn't you confront them? your actions make it seem like that you are actually guilty of talking behind their back i'm not surprised they believe it
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Arima)
why are you apologising if youre not guilty of anything? if you want to clear up a wrongdoing - i.e your flatmate talking **** - then shouldn't you confront them? your actions make it seem like that you are actually guilty of talking behind their back i'm not surprised they believe it
I was apologising because she was upset with me. I asked my friend if I could talk to that flatmate but she didn't want me to. But I think I've cleared the air now. thanks
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by jimmythebee)
Why don't you try to talk to the flatmate anyway? You might get to know if he/she is talking ******** or if the flatmate refers to something you can't even remember and it is a big missunderstanding? Maybe this is how you can find a way you can rebuild trust with your friend. Why do your friend don't want you to talk to the flatmate? I can't understand that.
Thanks. I don't want to talk to them because I think it'd just betray their trust more.

But I think its sorted
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
If your friend of 2 years has believed the flatmate and not even spoken to you to discuss what may or may not have happened, then she's not worth your time. I've never understood why people jump the gun and don't just speak to both parties themselves and make a rational decision based on that. Does she have any proof you've been talking behind her back apart from the flatmate's word?
I've spoken to my friend and I think i've cleared it tx
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