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Just found out the reason my gf broke up with previous boyfriend..

Anonymous, i think she goes on here

Basically we were discussing her ex boyfriend, and i asked quite politely/considerately why she split up with her boyfriend (they split up in november, i'm only bf since, been together since new years day).

She said that she pulled someone else while drunk at a party. I gave a kind of sheepish look and she rushed to defend herself, saying they werent getting on etc and she'd never do it again.. they split up after he found out by 'mutual consent' apparently

But how can i be sure? she's a lightweight when it comes to drinking..

hmm i really like what we've got going on, we're seeing eachother at every opportunity and i really like her.. i just get a niggling doubt when thinking of her at a party at some poitn in the future without me..
hmm

Reply 1

Nadinus

1

Well she gave you an honest answer, you got to give her that. But just a random guy at a party? Doesn't sound cool. It could have been that she just didn't like him that much, but still...it's up to you really, if you think you can trust her or not. If you can't honestly say that she would not cheat on you I don't really think you should be with her.

Reply 2

randomgirl

14

Well at least she was honest with you about it.

Just because she cheated on her ex, does not mean she'll do the same to you.

If you trusted her before this, I don't see why you should feel any differently. Maybe she's changed. Maybe things are different with you. You are a different person, it's a whole new relationship.

However, I can understand why you feel like this. Have you voiced your concerns to her? Maybe let her know how you are feeling and she what she says.

All I will say is that by distrusting her, you may push her away. Yes be a bit wary, but she is your girlfriend and if she didn't like you, she wouldn't be your girlfriend.

:smile:

Reply 3

bekahchu

14

I guess her reasons were because she wasn't getting on with her then boyfriend but the more correct thing to do if she really wasn't happy would have been to just split with him. But as has already been said, if you trust she won't cheat on you, just leave it, if not... well then it's up to you

Reply 4

dh00001

16

if you cant trust her end the relationship. having an issue everytime shes going out will tear you apart and **** you up as a person.
she was honest and says she wont do ti again.

Reply 5

mollymustard

14

You need to trust her! She hasn't done anything wrong as far as your concerned, as she has been honest with you about the whole previous situation.

You probably don't know enough about her past relationship to really judge the situation, and its not very likely she will do it again.

The thing is, if you worry about things like this all the time, you won't spend as much time enjoying yourself and having fun with your girlfriend. Try and relax, at the end of the day whats done is done, It's probably best to forget about it.

Reply 6

Sugar_Gems

4

A relationship without trust is doomed.

Not trying to scare you or anything, but this quote springs to mind..
[Rachel from Friends mum] once a cheater, always a cheater[Rachel from Friends mum]

Reply 7

BlackHawk

17

Just because someone gets drunk doesn't mean that they don't know the fundamental difference between right and wrong. Have some faith in her.

Reply 8

generalebriety

16

Dump her, she kissed a guy when she was in a relationship which makes her a slag and you don't want to associate with sluts like that and you're better than her and always will be because bitches like that never change and she'll eat your family and and and.

Reply 9

Joanna May

15

Being drunk just makes people do things they want to do sober, but don't dare to, as far as I've seen. So if she cares about you, she won't want to cheat on you, and so no amount of alcohol will make her do so.

Reply 10

Graylilxx

I am sure that a fair few people have cheated or will cheat at some point in their lives, in some way or another. And most wont admit it in the next relationship. Obviously not everyone, but the fact that she cheated on her ex does not mean she will do the same to you, i'd give her the benifit of the doubt that she wont do it again, afterall she did tell you, and has probably learnt from her mistake. It would be unfair to judge her for being honest, when she hasn't done anything bad within your relationship

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Ok i'll show her a bit of trust because from the time we've spent together i could never possibly imagine her doing that. maybe she's changed.. i'll trust her. thanks for the replies.

Reply 12

Lauren-silk

randomgirl

Well at least she was honest with you about it.

Just because she cheated on her ex, does not mean she'll do the same to you.

If you trusted her before this, I don't see why you should feel any differently. Maybe she's changed. Maybe things are different with you. You are a different person, it's a whole new relationship.

However, I can understand why you feel like this. Have you voiced your concerns to her? Maybe let her know how you are feeling and she what she says.

All I will say is that by distrusting her, you may push her away. Yes be a bit wary, but she is your girlfriend and if she didn't like you, she wouldn't be your girlfriend.

:smile:

My boyfriend was a bit of an arse to girls before he met me apparently, he used to lie to them and when a new girl turned up they would be dropped straight away...because of this im slightly scared of something like that happening again when he is drunk because he des get quite flirty with other girls andstuff like that but im learning to shut it out and i learned to trust him. i learned that distrusting does push people away, but definately talk to her, i talked to my bf about my thoughts and he was really good about it...try it

Reply 13

Boo_2

12

As some people have already said... just because she cheated on one boyfriend does not mean that the same will happen to you! I cheated on two of my ex-boyfriends... one of them three times with the same guy and another twice with different guys. That was because in both of the relationships I didn't actually feel anything for the guys I was going out with, they were 'time filler' relationships or maybe rebounds... However... I would never, ever, ever cheat on my current boyfriend, he means the world to me already and we've only been going out since early December. It really does depend on the person and if she really likes you then theres no reason why she should cheat on you.

Reply 14

linkdapink

15

I cheated on an ex boyfriend, but I geniunely hated him. I told all my mates that I wasn't going out with him, and cringed whenever I was with him. I just couldn't break up with him. I just figured that I'd leave him at some point, but there was never a good time (sounds terrible now) and just ended up cheating on him. I was 15 - so very immature and stupid

Now with my current boyfriend, I would never ever ever do anything like that to him. And thats cos I love him a LOT. Its different from boyfriend to boyfriend.

Reply 15

babey_lilz

Well lots say once a cheater always a cheater but depends on her committment to your relationship. If she's been completely honest and has decent reasons then maybe she genuinely means it when she says she won't do it to you. Alcohol does some horrible things to people tho. Try talkin to her about it without making her feel guilty, as it is somethin she most likely isnt proud of

:smile:

Just found out the reason my gf broke up with previous boyfriend..

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