Relationship Advice

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Please take your time to read this as I genuinely want proper advice. If you have any questions please ask so that you can offer me more thorough advice!

So on New Year's Eve I stayed at my friend's house and we had been hooking up. He had his friend over and I took my friend too. My friend found it really awkward and she decided to leave and she left me there with the two guys, L and J. J, my friend's friend was on the phone for ages and so me and L were just on the sofa talking after my friend had left. We got off and things and ended up sleeping on the sofa as J was on the phone and slept on the floor the other side of the room because he was on the phone for ages!

The next morning they gave me a lift home and I met them again the next night to watch a film. We never ended up watching a film as J went in the shower so L and I just chilled for a bit. Then when he came back, L went in the shower after him. Me and J then spoke for a bit and we ended up making out..

L had told me that J was speaking to someone so I found it a bit weird how he was so willing to get off with me. We have been speaking a bit since and I told him that L had told me he was speaking to someone to which he replied "No, we aren't talking and I don't really see anything happening between me and her tbh". So I thought nothing of it and we speak on snapchat for a bit most nights, however, sometimes the conversation is dead and there's not much to talk about as we don't know each other very well.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do about this situation, like I think that J is really cute and he is really clever but I'm not sure how to like take it further or what to talk about when there's not much to say. Any advice or tips would be appreciated.
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username47781
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Please take your time to read this as I genuinely want proper advice. If you have any questions please ask so that you can offer me more thorough advice!

So on New Year's Eve I stayed at my friend's house and we had been hooking up. He had his friend over and I took my friend too. My friend found it really awkward and she decided to leave and she left me there with the two guys, L and J. J, my friend's friend was on the phone for ages and so me and L were just on the sofa talking after my friend had left. We got off and things and ended up sleeping on the sofa as J was on the phone and slept on the floor the other side of the room because he was on the phone for ages!

The next morning they gave me a lift home and I met them again the next night to watch a film. We never ended up watching a film as J went in the shower so L and I just chilled for a bit. Then when he came back, L went in the shower after him. Me and J then spoke for a bit and we ended up making out..

L had told me that J was speaking to someone so I found it a bit weird how he was so willing to get off with me. We have been speaking a bit since and I told him that L had told me he was speaking to someone to which he replied "No, we aren't talking and I don't really see anything happening between me and her tbh". So I thought nothing of it and we speak on snapchat for a bit most nights, however, sometimes the conversation is dead and there's not much to talk about as we don't know each other very well.

I was just wondering if anyone had any advice on what to do about this situation, like I think that J is really cute and he is really clever but I'm not sure how to like take it further or what to talk about when there's not much to say. Any advice or tips would be appreciated.
Why don't you ask him how he feels?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Why don't you ask him how he feels?
I wouldn't know how to incorporate this into a conversation without it seeming weird. Like I can't think of a scenario where it would just fit in nicely. Plus it has been 6 days since we last saw each other which is when we hooked up. I want to make our conversations more entertaining and potentionally talk on call or whatever. I just don't know how to go about this or to ask him without it being out of the blue and weird.
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username47781
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I wouldn't know how to incorporate this into a conversation without it seeming weird. Like I can't think of a scenario where it would just fit in nicely. Plus it has been 6 days since we last saw each other which is when we hooked up. I want to make our conversations more entertaining and potentionally talk on call or whatever. I just don't know how to go about this or to ask him without it being out of the blue and weird.
Well if you have his number then maybe suggest another meet up?
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Danny the Geezer
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#5
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It seems, by the very nature of the triviality of the post, that you're naïve about relationships, if there's no spark on snapchat then, - IDK, have you tried making conversation yourself? Any online platform, snapcat, tinder, okc, whatsapp - if I'm chatting and they take like two days between messages or don't respod at all I usually unmatch/delete them - it takes two to tango etc
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Well if you have his number then maybe suggest another meet up?
I would actually ask him if he would like to meet up again. Thing is, he is busy revising and he lives an hour away. This means that it wouldn't be like a casual suggestion because it would actually involve planning and I don't want to nag him about meeting up or seem too eager if he isn't feeling the same way. I need like a subtle way of seeing whether or not he's interested. Plus, what if he was just saying that thing about not talking to someone because otherwise it would look bad on him for getting off with me?
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username47781
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would actually ask him if he would like to meet up again. Thing is, he is busy revising and he lives an hour away. This means that it wouldn't be like a casual suggestion because it would actually involve planning and I don't want to nag him about meeting up or seem too eager if he isn't feeling the same way. I need like a subtle way of seeing whether or not he's interested. Plus, what if he was just saying that thing about not talking to someone because otherwise it would look bad on him for getting off with me?
Unless you ask you don't know.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Danny the Geezer)
It seems, by the very nature of the triviality of the post, that you're naïve about relationships, if there's no spark on snapchat then, - IDK, have you tried making conversation yourself? Any online platform, snapcat, tinder, okc, whatsapp - if I'm chatting and they take like two days between messages or don't respod at all I usually unmatch/delete them - it takes two to tango etc
I feel like there is a spark on snapchat in a way. Like he replies straight away when he's active and the conversation is good unless there's like the conversations coming to an end and there's not much to say because we don't know each other very well. I want to like call and things or ask more intriging things that will lead me to understand where he's at. I need advice on how to do this without seeming like a creep!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Rock Fan)
Unless you ask you don't know.
That's true. Do you think I should talk to him a bit longer though before asking? Or what should I prioritise asking him? Like "So are you talking to anyone?" seems way too weird and blunt.
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cat_mac
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I would actually ask him if he would like to meet up again. Thing is, he is busy revising and he lives an hour away. This means that it wouldn't be like a casual suggestion because it would actually involve planning and I don't want to nag him about meeting up or seem too eager if he isn't feeling the same way. I need like a subtle way of seeing whether or not he's interested. Plus, what if he was just saying that thing about not talking to someone because otherwise it would look bad on him for getting off with me?
Don’t play games, guys are sh*t with taking hints or subtlety. Just send him a message saying “hey, I really want to do (movie, some other activity) but my friend doesn’t like it. Do you wanna go?” that way it’s casual and makes you look like you’re not ‘too eager’ like you said.

He probably is talking to her still, you guys hooked up a couple of times, it’s not exactly an exclusive relationship. See how things go, if it develops into a relationship then he should stop talking to her and other potential girls. If you already distrust him though, that’s a bad place to start. If you don’t think you could trust him then throw the whole boy out.
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Danny the Geezer
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Just swallow your pride, if he thinks you're a creep he does, so what? He probably won't and is thinking the same things. I mean, Iskimmed the OP tbh, but why not imply another face to face meet up? Snapchat is awkward I deleted it within a day.
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username47781
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(Original post by Anonymous)
That's true. Do you think I should talk to him a bit longer though before asking? Or what should I prioritise asking him? Like "So are you talking to anyone?" seems way too weird and blunt.
If you like him ask him, do not play games because as the above poster said guys lose interest very quickly if you play games.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by cat_mac)
Don’t play games, guys are sh*t with taking hints or subtlety. Just send him a message saying “hey, I really want to do (movie, some other activity) but my friend doesn’t like it. Do you wanna go?” that way it’s casual and makes you look like you’re not ‘too eager’ like you said.

He probably is talking to her still, you guys hooked up a couple of times, it’s not exactly an exclusive relationship. See how things go, if it develops into a relationship then he should stop talking to her and other potential girls. If you already distrust him though, that’s a bad place to start. If you don’t think you could trust him then throw the whole boy out.
Okay, I will try and work out if he would like to meet if we speak again tonight. We only hooked up once though and I do trust him, I know that if it did get serious he would. Obviously I don't expect him to just be talking to me!

I'm still not sure if it's too early or not to ask him yet or if I should try and develop our connection a bit more before asking to meet. Like I'd feel more comfortable if we spoke for a while longer and potentially spoke on the phone before meeting too. Like a casual thing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Danny the Geezer)
Just swallow your pride, if he thinks you're a creep he does, so what? He probably won't and is thinking the same things. I mean, Iskimmed the OP tbh, but why not imply another face to face meet up? Snapchat is awkward I deleted it within a day.
(Original post by Rock Fan)
If you like him ask him, do not play games because as the above poster said guys lose interest very quickly if you play games.
To be honest, I don't want to play games either. I'm just nervous of rejection I guess. Maybe he feels that it's too early. Plus, I hooked up with his mate for ages, like the only reason I know him is from his friend so he might think it's awkward. His friend has gone back to uni now though (we are a bit younger than his mate). Do you think I could possibly say something like "Do you ever come up to (the place I live)?" then whatever he says I could subtley say "Maybe we could meet up here one day" or something like that.
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Danny the Geezer
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I don't know, is it far? Bite the bullet though, as I said. If you don't try you never know :moon:

Guys never feel it's to early btw
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Danny the Geezer)
I don't know, is it far? Bite the bullet though, as I said. If you don't try you never know :moon:

Guys never feel it's to early btw
It's an hour away but buses are free on the weekend. I'm just really nervous. Is it best for me to find out if he talking to someone else / if he's actually interested first?
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303Pharma
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Bang his brains out. If you fancy him, treat him like a ****-buddy, FWB. Maybe he'll open up, and it develops into into a more serious relationship. If not, who cares? You have other friends you can talk with? Use him for good sex, leave it at that.
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Danny the Geezer
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She's scared of rejection bro, she's not going to bang his brains out. Unless it's that edgy, nervous sex where the tension just builds up cos you act like you're not into each other but BOOM!
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303Pharma
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(Original post by Danny the Geezer)
Unless it's that edgy, nervous sex where the tension just builds up cos you act like you're not into each other but BOOM!
For real! 21st birthday party in a cricket club in the biggest park in town. Been friendly with this girl for years. We were both single, but kept it Over time the flirtation went from subtle, to blatantly intense. Late at night, party is winding down, we go outside for a smoke.

2-3am, rain is pissing down, we run under a trees branches. Basically ripped each others clothes off, and ****ed like bunny rabbbits on speed and coke. Actual thunder storm, lightning, she looked tso beautiful... never came so hard before or since.
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Danny the Geezer
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#20
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(Original post by 303Pharma)
For real! 21st birthday party in a cricket club in the biggest park in town. Been friendly with this girl for years. We were both single, but kept it Over time the flirtation went from subtle, to blatantly intense. Late at night, party is winding down, we go outside for a smoke.

2-3am, rain is pissing down, we run under a trees branches. Basically ripped each others clothes off, and ****ed like bunny rabbbits on speed and coke. Actual thunder storm, lightning, she looked tso beautiful... never came so hard before or since.
See I wish I'd done that at 21, but I was in uni but crippingly shy, now I'm not and 30 haha live life whilst you're young mate Fair play!
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