I start to realize I don't actually like my 'best friend'Watch
Since 16, my friend (who was already friends with her) started to hang out with her (lets say she's called Louise) more, so I did too, and Louise and I became good friends of our own. Louise had also quite some friends, so we became a group together. That group is still the group I'm talking about.
But while studying for my exams I started to realize something: always when I think about her, I get mad. Not a good foundation for a friendship lol.
In year 2 of uni I started suffering from panic attacks, which led me to not being able to attend every get-together with the friend group (I also still live at home, which makes it hard, since I can't get home after a night out if I don't get to sleep at someone's place on campus).
A month after uni started, she just blatantly said 'well, if you don't come, you must know we'll stop inviting you in the future'. Bear in mind, she did not once ask me 'how are you doing' or 'are things getting beter' she just dropped that one sentence.
But when the months continued, I started feeling better. In march, her boyfriend (also a good friend of me) did a party at his house. I was not invited, although people they know much less than they know me (like my boyfriend, who she only knows from class and school, but they were never friends with him), were. I just asked her 'why wasn't I invited' and she said 'you're just no more fun to be around with', which, when I think about it know, was in itself f*cking rude, but I accepted it, since I thought it must've been true. (especially that she did invite my boyfriend, seemed like quite a big dig at me).
And the third thing: she NEVER likes any of my social media posts. This seems trivial, but she does like/comment on other people's pictures, but she just plain ignores mine, although I like her.
She's also never able to congratulate me or something, it's like she's 'above' me or something? I don't know, maybe she feels more mature?
I do agree that maybe I'm also at fault, everybody has their flaws. But it just doesn't seem healthy that I get that feeling from her, which I DON'T get from friends I see much less/are less friends with me. It's just like a sort of gut feeling.
So, this may seem like a rant, but my question actually is: does this seem like a toxic friendship, (lol, I've always wanted to use those words) or does it seems like I'm looking to much into it?
Second: if any of you guys have been through something like this, how did you handle the situation?
Thanks in advance
Honestly, she sounds awful, I think it would be a good idea to try and find some new friends at university... People change when they get a bit older, and not always for the better.