It's simple, you need 3 virgin pigs to sacrifice to the God of A-levels. Turns out 2 of my pigs were shagging so I only got 3 A*s, people tried to tell me it's because I only did 3 subjects but obviously
It was the God of A-levels punishing me for not keeping an eye on my naughty pigs. Don't make the same mistake I did, keep your pigs separated before the sacrifice and you'll be fine.