I want to have a casual hookup but always get too scared to go out and meet. Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 2 years ago
#1
I really want a casual encounter, as I’m still a Virgin and would like to try having sex: I have arranged a few meets with several people and yet as the date comes closer and closer. I always call it off. And yet I still come back to the thought of casual encounters. This makes me believe I truly want to meet someone but my anxiety gets the best of me. Help?
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Kvothe the Arcane
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want a casual encounter, as I’m still a Virgin and would like to try having sex: I have arranged a few meets with several people and yet as the date comes closer and closer. I always call it off. And yet I still come back to the thought of casual encounters. This makes me believe I truly want to meet someone but my anxiety gets the best of me. Help?
Have you considered doing it the old fashioned way and getting to know the person a little? You might find that things progress organically towards the bedroom. While I don't regret my own decision to do it casually, you don't get your first time back and may want to give this decision more thought.
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chaimaa28
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(Original post by Kvothe the Arcane)
Have you considered doing it the old fashioned way and getting to know the person a little? You might find that things progress organically towards the bedroom. While I don't regret my own decision to do it casually, you don't get your first time back and may want to give this decision more thought.
As if "virginity" is something important.. it´s 2018, she can do whatever she wants, hooking up or not.
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unprinted
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They can.. but arranging a random hookup isn't working for them. (Interesting assumption that the OP is female, by the way.)

Do they know you're looking to have first sex?

Two thoughts: you don't need to have intercourse (AKA 'lose your virginity') on the first meeting with someone. If they don't treat you well during the kissing / touching phase, they're unlikely to be any better later on.

If you don't know what sort of touches you like, they're not going to know either. They may well be all 'everyone likes this, or so I've been told', but sex is about communication, even when it's not about emotions.
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Aeropic
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#5
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Try fabswingers if you are straight.
Fabguys if gay.
I am Bi and on both.
Also if you do try it my advice is to be a 100% honest as it's a site for people looking for fun not dates but to get the best out of it be honest
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cssm
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want a casual encounter, as I’m still a Virgin and would like to try having sex: I have arranged a few meets with several people and yet as the date comes closer and closer. I always call it off. And yet I still come back to the thought of casual encounters. This makes me believe I truly want to meet someone but my anxiety gets the best of me. Help?
If you are getting anxiety about it then maybe you're not ready. Just keep in mind sex is very intimate, meaning if you're going to casually have sex then I would advise you to detach from your feelings, and I say this because there is a possibility that you may catch feelings with someone that ain't feeling you...
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goodfxrnoth
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From experience I can completely relate to this, but the best advice I can give you is to take it slow and let things happen at their own pace..

If you're inexperienced with anxiety, and you purposely plan to "hook up" - as the time gets closer you end up stressing out and worrying that because you're meeting up for one thing in particular that you need to "deliver" and you put too much pressure on yourself.

If you take things slow and let things happen in a timely manner, a couple of dates - a movie and spooning... one thing will lead to another naturally and you won't feel a tonne of pressure on your part.

Theirs nothing wrong with being a virgin and too anyone who does meet up for hook-ups there is nothing wrong with that either, but you'll only ruin your first sexual experience if you pressure yourself into doing it when you aren't mentally ready.
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Lover86
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M or F?
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Anonymous #2
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#9
(Original post by Lover86)
M or F?
M why?
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Lover86
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#10
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Yes i undertand you but why?What is reasons babe?Just try for coffe first!!
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Silly_scientist
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#11
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I can definitely relate to this; in my first and second years I had just gotten out of a previously sexless relationship and thus was still a virgin; I was so ready to have sex and lose my virginity, but whenever I got a chance to do it (had a few instances where a girl was literally naked on top of me) I just couldn't go through with it and said to them that I wasn't ready to have sex at that time. I didn't really have any feelings for any of them, so it just didn't feel right to me. Then I started dating a girl I really liked, and she came out with me and my friends for my birthday when we were just starting to go out. We got a lil (very drunk) and one thing led to another and we were naked; this time it just felt right though, I think a combination of the alcohol (taking the edge off the nerves) and liking her was the combo I needed to feel comfortable enough to just do it. It wasn't super romantic or anything (no candles etc) but I think that actually took a lot of pressure off for me and it just felt a lil more comfortable!

Sorry that this was very long and I hope it helps you somewhat with your predicament! To summarise, basically finding someone you're comfortable with helps immensely, so maybe take the time to get to know someone before deciding you want to sleep with them? It really helped me!
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BigDogBigNuts
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I really want a casual encounter, as I’m still a Virgin and would like to try having sex: I have arranged a few meets with several people and yet as the date comes closer and closer. I always call it off. And yet I still come back to the thought of casual encounters. This makes me believe I truly want to meet someone but my anxiety gets the best of me. Help?
Just don't think about it and eventually you will probably meet someone and smash.
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