Anonymous #1
#1
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1. I just got rejected from Oxford. I know it's not the be all and end all, but it was honestly heads and shoulders above the other universities I applied too. Despite getting offers from UCL and Bristol, both very good universities, for the course I am doing they aren't great. And yet I'm consigned to the belief that reapplying next year is a stupid and risky decision, so I'm accepting the fact that I will never be able to go to my first choice.
2. I have an injury in my leg that I got a few days ago that will keep me off sport for over a month, maybe two. This means that I will likely miss all of the football season (my favourite sport) in my last year at school
3. My long-term girlfriend broke up with me after new years. Apparently it was one of her 'resolutions'. I felt really awful after that, and still feel it now.
4. I have mocks in a week, yet I've done very little revision. I feel no motivation to bust a gut to get into universities I don't want to go to, not to mention don't have the time to cram everything.

Advice?
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username3585844
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1. I just got rejected from Oxford. I know it's not the be all and end all, but it was honestly heads and shoulders above the other universities I applied too. Despite getting offers from UCL and Bristol, both very good universities, for the course I am doing they aren't great. And yet I'm consigned to the belief that reapplying next year is a stupid and risky decision, so I'm accepting the fact that I will never be able to go to my first choice.
2. I have an injury in my leg that I got a few days ago that will keep me off sport for over a month, maybe two. This means that I will likely miss all of the football season (my favourite sport) in my last year at school
3. My long-term girlfriend broke up with me after new years. Apparently it was one of her 'resolutions'. I felt really awful after that, and still feel it now.
4. I have mocks in a week, yet I've done very little revision. I feel no motivation to bust a gut to get into universities I don't want to go to, not to mention don't have the time to cram everything.

Advice?
1. There are other universities similar to Oxford, see if you can get into one with similar entry requirements and just think of them as Oxford. Making friends should also help lift your spirit.
2. I don't know about the injury in your leg but just do everything you possibly can to help you recover and maybe you will get what you want. Just keep saying to yourself "I will get better".
3. Your girlfriend sounds like a d*ck, you'll find someone much better in time (potentially in university). If you don't, it's not the end of the world. Just carry on with your life like you normally would and worry about your future more than a relationship.
4. Keep the "can do" head on to get you through your mocks by researching universities similar to Oxford and revising hard for them. If you lack motivation, see your GP and they can give you helpful advice to help you regain your motivation. You have a future ahead of you and you need to start believing in yourself more.

Hope that helps. Wishing the best for you
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Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 3 years ago
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(Original post by iTzYoBoY)
1. There are other universities similar to Oxford, see if you can get into one with similar entry requirements and just think of them as Oxford. Making friends should also help lift your spirit.
2. I don't know about the injury in your leg but just do everything you possibly can to help you recover and maybe you will get what you want. Just keep saying to yourself "I will get better".
3. Your girlfriend sounds like a d*ck, you'll find someone much better in time (potentially in university). If you don't, it's not the end of the world. Just carry on with your life like you normally would and worry about your future more than a relationship.
4. Keep the "can do" head on to get you through your mocks by researching universities similar to Oxford and revising hard for them. If you lack motivation, see your GP and they can give you helpful advice to help you regain your motivation. You have a future ahead of you and you need to start believing in yourself more.

Hope that helps. Wishing the best for you
thanks. Believing in myself is the one thing I'm not good at :/
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Sbbh
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1. I just got rejected from Oxford. I know it's not the be all and end all, but it was honestly heads and shoulders above the other universities I applied too. Despite getting offers from UCL and Bristol, both very good universities, for the course I am doing they aren't great. And yet I'm consigned to the belief that reapplying next year is a stupid and risky decision, so I'm accepting the fact that I will never be able to go to my first choice.
2. I have an injury in my leg that I got a few days ago that will keep me off sport for over a month, maybe two. This means that I will likely miss all of the football season (my favourite sport) in my last year at school
3. My long-term girlfriend broke up with me after new years. Apparently it was one of her 'resolutions'. I felt really awful after that, and still feel it now.
4. I have mocks in a week, yet I've done very little revision. I feel no motivation to bust a gut to get into universities I don't want to go to, not to mention don't have the time to cram everything.

Advice?
Sorry to hear you're feeling so low I'll give some suggestions by number:

1. If Oxford is your dream uni, then maybe you should take a gap year, whether you travel, save up some more money or do some work experience, something like that, it may be a good idea if you know you'll be unhappy at the others you've got into? Quite a lot of students take gap years these days, I wouldn't say it's stupid or risky at all. That said UCL and Bristol are really good unis as you said, maybe revisit them to see if that makes you think differently.
2. Sorry about your leg! I guess there's not a lot you can do about that, but maybe take up a new hobby, do something else you'd enjoy that doesn't involve using it?
3. That really sucks and it's ok to feel hurt - accept the process of the pain. As cliche as it is, it'll heal with time eventually. Try to surround yourself with friends and also learn to enjoy your own company.
4. Try to keep calm and revise what you can - mocks are important, but aren't the be all and end all - you can still get amazing grades in your real exams regardless of mocks. Believe in yourself. See it as getting really good grades to be proud of rather than your gateway into unis you don't really want to go to - if you do decide to take a gap year you'll need those grades for your next application.

Hope this helps and you feel a better soon
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gr8wizard10
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that really sucks, in life sometimes it will suck.. just remember that
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username3585844
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks. Believing in myself is the one thing I'm not good at :/
To reinforce what I said, seeing your GP is probably a good option. The last thing you want is to walk in the exams feeling depressed and unmotivated.
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AmyNeedsToRevise
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#7
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First of all, I just want to say that I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you. With regards to Oxford rejection, I know exactly how you feel - one year ago, I was rejected from Oxford, the university of my dreams, and I thought my world had ended. I know that it was so hard to see others celebrating while all your aspirations have been shattered. I want you to know that it does, and will, get better. I know it probably doesn't feel like it (and if you told me that a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you either), but nevertheless your life will get better.

You said that taking a gap year is risky - maybe you could give that some thought if you are set on going to Oxford? In my experience, my Cambridge interviews this year were made a lot easier having already gone through the stressful Oxford ones last year. It all depends on subject though - I'm not trying to influence you in a certain direction, I just think you should know it is an option for you if you want.

Have you visited UCL and Bristol? I found last year that, having not visited St Andrews for example, I was pretty unwilling to give it a chance after being rejected by Oxford. However, I was much more open to the idea once I went to a subject open day and actually visited the place (if you have, ignore this haha).

With regards to your girlfriend breaking up with you, know that this seems to be more a sign of her unkindness than anything you've done wrong. As an outsider, it seems that her actions are quite childish and hurtful, and know that this isn't a reflection on you but on her that she decided to break up with you in this way.

Something I found helpful when revising last year was to uncouple my exams from getting into university - instead of using a university place as motivation, maybe you could think of the grades you would like independent of that? Also, I kindof tried to use my rejection as motivation (bear with me) when revising, as if I was 'proving them wrong' or something. Also, if you're worried about teachers judging your poor performance, they know that being rejected from somewhere like Oxford can be massive, and they'll understand if you underperform in your mocks.

Are there any other extracurricular activities that you could pick up to replace football for the time being? It might be useful to have something to take your mind off things.

Again I want to stress that you being rejected from Oxford doesn't mean that you aren't worthy, clever or talented - remember that they also have to look at whether you'd suit the teaching style at Oxford, and maybe the professors thought you would benefit from a different style of teaching elsewhere.

Edit: after reading some other comments, I would also recommend maybe talking to your doctor. As someone with experience of seeking help for mental health concerns, I can't promise you that there will be no waiting list and you'll get help immediately, but on balance it's better to try and access these kind of things than not.
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999tigger
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Anonymous)
1. I just got rejected from Oxford. I know it's not the be all and end all, but it was honestly heads and shoulders above the other universities I applied too. Despite getting offers from UCL and Bristol, both very good universities, for the course I am doing they aren't great. And yet I'm consigned to the belief that reapplying next year is a stupid and risky decision, so I'm accepting the fact that I will never be able to go to my first choice.
2. I have an injury in my leg that I got a few days ago that will keep me off sport for over a month, maybe two. This means that I will likely miss all of the football season (my favourite sport) in my last year at school
3. My long-term girlfriend broke up with me after new years. Apparently it was one of her 'resolutions'. I felt really awful after that, and still feel it now.
4. I have mocks in a week, yet I've done very little revision. I feel no motivation to bust a gut to get into universities I don't want to go to, not to mention don't have the time to cram everything.

Advice?

1. You and thousands of others. Some people will be crushed they didnt get into Bristol and UCL. Get some feedback and then consider whethr you wish to reapply. If it really was the #1 choice I would back myself.
2. I had a relative who got run over as a child and was crippled
and they still made a great go at life. keep things in perspective.

3. Maybe she had her reasons. Doesnt change the good times you had and you can now meet someone new and exciting, who may be a lot ore compatible.

4. Your life and your choice. Except for your parents nobody else cares whether you pass or fail. Having a cry then focusing on revision for six days seems in your best interest. You can use it as a distraction and collapse after.

Stuff happens. Even worse stuff happens to other people. Just deal with it and make the best of the situation. Push through and new opportunities will come your way.It will get better for you. get the feedback and that will indicate how close you were.

Ps Amys advice in post#7 is good.(disagree with gf comments though). Plus she came back and put paragraphs in
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Anonymous #1
#9
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#9
(Original post by AmyNeedsToRevise)
First of all, I just want to say that I'm so sorry that all this has happened to you. With regards to Oxford rejection, I know exactly how you feel - one year ago, I was rejected from Oxford, the university of my dreams, and I thought my world had ended. I know that it was so hard to see others celebrating while all your aspirations have been shattered. I want you to know that it does, and will, get better. I know it probably doesn't feel like it (and if you told me that a year ago, I wouldn't have believed you either), but nevertheless your life will get better.

You said that taking a gap year is risky - maybe you could give that some thought if you are set on going to Oxford? In my experience, my Cambridge interviews this year were made a lot easier having already gone through the stressful Oxford ones last year. It all depends on subject though - I'm not trying to influence you in a certain direction, I just think you should know it is an option for you if you want.

Have you visited UCL and Bristol? I found last year that, having not visited St Andrews for example, I was pretty unwilling to give it a chance after being rejected by Oxford. However, I was much more open to the idea once I went to a subject open day and actually visited the place (if you have, ignore this haha).

With regards to your girlfriend breaking up with you, know that this seems to be more a sign of her unkindness than anything you've done wrong. As an outsider, it seems that her actions are quite childish and hurtful, and know that this isn't a reflection on you but on her that she decided to break up with you in this way.

Something I found helpful when revising last year was to uncouple my exams from getting into university - instead of using a university place as motivation, maybe you could think of the grades you would like independent of that? Also, I kindof tried to use my rejection as motivation (bear with me) when revising, as if I was 'proving them wrong' or something. Also, if you're worried about teachers judging your poor performance, they know that being rejected from somewhere like Oxford can be massive, and they'll understand if you underperform in your mocks.

Are there any other extracurricular activities that you could pick up to replace football for the time being? It might be useful to have something to take your mind off things.

Again I want to stress that you being rejected from Oxford doesn't mean that you aren't worthy, clever or talented - remember that they also have to look at whether you'd suit the teaching style at Oxford, and maybe the professors thought you would benefit from a different style of teaching elsewhere.

Edit: after reading some other comments, I would also recommend maybe talking to your doctor. As someone with experience of seeking help for mental health concerns, I can't promise you that there will be no waiting list and you'll get help immediately, but on balance it's better to try and access these kind of things than not.
great advice, thank you.

I have visited both UCL and Bristol, and whilst they both had a brilliant vibe and our outstanding for most other courses, for my course (geography) their versions didn't really click with me. That said I will definitely look into them much more because they are great universities!

Conversely, the idea of a gap year never appealed to me, so I will also look into that again. Maybe a year out will help me.

When you reapplied, did you reapply to all the same universities (except Oxford) again and did this affect any of your application? That's my main qualm about reapplying; I don't want to reapply if my chances are slimmed so considerably so that I won't be able to get into Oxford or any of my other choices!

With my leg I've already booked to see a physio, hopefully they have good news !
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Anonymous #1
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also thanks you everyone for the kind words, life is two steps forwards one step back and I suppose it is a bit pathetic of me whinging when I have offers from two of the best universities in the country! As tigger said, perspective is key
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AmyNeedsToRevise
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
great advice, thank you.

I have visited both UCL and Bristol, and whilst they both had a brilliant vibe and our outstanding for most other courses, for my course (geography) their versions didn't really click with me. That said I will definitely look into them much more because they are great universities!

Conversely, the idea of a gap year never appealed to me, so I will also look into that again. Maybe a year out will help me.

When you reapplied, did you reapply to all the same universities (except Oxford) again and did this affect any of your application? That's my main qualm about reapplying; I don't want to reapply if my chances are slimmed so considerably so that I won't be able to get into Oxford or any of my other choices!

With my leg I've already booked to see a physio, hopefully they have good news !
Last year, I applied to Oxford, Durham, St Andrews, Leeds and Liverpool and only switched out two of my choices this year - Cambridge instead of Oxford and Bristol instead of Liverpool. As of yet, the only university I'm yet to receive an offer from yet is St Andrews, but last year they sent me an offer quite late so I hope that's why I haven't got an offer yet haha! In my experience, unis don't seem to care if you've reapplied as long as you fit the entry requirements - I got my offer from Durham 2 months earlier this year lol.

If you do decide to go for a gap year, it might be nice to do something relevant to your course to impress unis even more haha. For example, I applied for French and German so I decided to help out with foreign language speaking sessions at my old sixth form and I plan to work abroad in Germany this summer. Maybe do some research to see if there are any Geography related activities you could do - again, even if you don't end up taking a gap year, it's good to have researched all your options just in case.

I'm glad to see that you're sounding more positive, and congratulations again for getting offers from UCL and Bristol. Good luck for the future!
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