Breaking up tomorrow

I've decided to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow, just 3 days short of our 1 year anniversary and I really need some advice. I decided tomorrow because her last exam finishes tomorrow morning so I'll do it then, otherwise I'd have done it earlier, I think. I really don't know what to say. I know why I want to break up. I don't feel the same way as I did about her, I don't even think I love her anymore. I loved being with her but now we argue most of the time we argue, and she gets really annoyed with me for being a rubbish boyfriend so I kinda feel like I should break up for her sake anyway because I don't want her to have a rubbish boyfriend, but also sometimes after we argue I really don't like her and I don't want to get to a point where we argue, break up and we hate each other. I do wanna stay friends with her, but it's going to be very hard, as she has 2 out of her 3 subjects with me, and in both there's only 2 other people in the class who she's not really friends with. Any advice on what to say?

Reply 1

PasserBy9

11

Are you sure the argument are not part of exam stress?
Anyway, my advice would not be to tell her that you are breaking up but to talk about it and try to come to a mutual understanding.
Then again, arguing takes 2 people. If you refuse to retaliate then she can't argue back.

Reply 2

Becca <3.

1

PasserBy9

Are you sure the argument are not part of exam stress?
Anyway, my advice would not be to tell her that you are breaking up but to talk about it and try to come to a mutual understanding.
Then again, arguing takes 2 people. If you refuse to retaliate then she can't argue back.

Not much of a relationship then though really, is it? I see what you're saying, but if the ugy just doesn't feel the same way, then he's made a good decision in breaking it off; it'd just be mean to carry on, and like he said end up hating each other.

Anyway, that's not really the point is it. Maybe you should try starting off by asking her if she's happy, like completely happy, or as happy as you were 6 months ago or whatever. Try and get her to see more UNhappiness is coming from you two being together, than the more positive emotions that should come from it [if that's the way you feel you two are, of course]. Maybe she'll appreciate your view that preserving a friendship rather than battling through something that's evidently not working, is an option that'll be slightly more productive for both of you.

See how she reacts, and take it from there. I guess you don't need a whole conversation planned out; just say what you feel. She can't be angry at you for that, at the end of the day. It's your emotions, and you're being honest with her, harsh as it sounds, she'll just have to deal with it.

Becca <3.

Reply 3

Nadinus

1

Hmm...is there no way of sorting stuff out? A simple discussion about what you want from each other could make all the difference...

But um if you definately want to do it, just tell her that you don't think it's working for you two any more. Tell her you're just...not compatible and it's too complicated, if she gets all stressie then that's her problem, at least you've tried your best to keep the peace.

Reply 4

Ang|ophi|e

12

Don't waste your time and her time being in a relationship where there is only fighting and no mutual feelings. Honestly, your timing is really bad. I bet she's probably got things planned for your one year anniversary. I'd first talk things through with her, on how far you both see the relationship going. Tell her how you feel, but not so bluntly. If you don't want to try to fix things, then that's the right moment to break up with her.

Reply 5

mermania

16

you should wait that extra 3 days for your anniversary, then you can be all like "suprise!!! it's over!!!" it'll be great trust me.

Reply 6

shona

10

I agree, she's probably been really stressed trying to do well in her exams and plan something special for your anniversary at the same time.

Once she gets past being upset, she is going to be seriously angry with you. If you're not feeling it, then yes, you should end the relationship, but I honestly don't think staying friends is really something that's going to happen. Sorry. :frown:

Reply 7

username47781

20

Why don't you talk to each other and see if it's simply exam stress that is causing arguments and give it another shot.

Then again if you really don't feel the same about her then maybe it's better ending it rather than letting it drag on, and you can't automatically go straight back to being friends with her.

Reply 8

griddlebone

2

say the stuff you wrote on your post.....youre not in love with her,you argue too much,but you want to stay friends.the thing is...whatever you say shes going to be upset,so youll just have to deal with that tbh.xx

Reply 9

na221

bad timing dude, personally i dont think theres any point in waiting for your anniversary, cos the longer you leave it the harder it becomes... but obviously you shouldnt be like we're over, i dont love you anymore cos thats reallly harsh and will probably break her heart. Maybe instead of completely breaking it off with her you should slow things down, cos you say you dont feel the same, but theres also that possibility that you might realise what you've lost by breaking up, not just as ur gf but as ur friend. When someones been in ur life for a year, and uv been close for the whole time, its pretty much definite that you too will feel sad about it and possibly regret it. If i was in ur shoes, speak to her before ur anniversary instead after, cos if shes planned something really big and thinks things between you guys are going so well, it might come as a big shock. You should just say that you still care about her a lot and value her friendship a lot, but in terms of being in a relationship you dont think its working out as well as u thought and its not definitely bringing out the good sides of either of you. See how she feels and reach a mutual agreement.

I hope things work out the way you planned.

All the best.

Reply 10

PasserBy9

11

mermania

you should wait that extra 3 days for your anniversary, then you can be all like "suprise!!! it's over!!!" it'll be great trust me.

A small part of me wants to say that isn't very helpful. However, that would just be classic. Maybe a small card in some flowers?
"To My Darling Love,
On our one year anniversary,
some advice to remember.

You're not Darling,
And you're not my love anymore.
Cya"

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

Hey man good luck. Pass any tips on. I'm in a similar boat but find it troublesome actually ending the relationship. Can relate to everything you said, even being told Im a rubbish boyfriend!

Reply 12

rufnek2k6

12

Anonymous

I've decided to break up with my girlfriend tomorrow, just 3 days short of our 1 year anniversary and I really need some advice. I decided tomorrow because her last exam finishes tomorrow morning so I'll do it then, otherwise I'd have done it earlier, I think. I really don't know what to say. I know why I want to break up. I don't feel the same way as I did about her, I don't even think I love her anymore. I loved being with her but now we argue most of the time we argue, and she gets really annoyed with me for being a rubbish boyfriend so I kinda feel like I should break up for her sake anyway because I don't want her to have a rubbish boyfriend, but also sometimes after we argue I really don't like her and I don't want to get to a point where we argue, break up and we hate each other. I do wanna stay friends with her, but it's going to be very hard, as she has 2 out of her 3 subjects with me, and in both there's only 2 other people in the class who she's not really friends with. Any advice on what to say?

slightly OT but in 2 classes there's only 4 of you?? what course is this then? I should've done that, my classes were packed.

Reply 13

theredwindmill

9

You have awful timing, unfortunatly you sound like my ex he broke up with at the wrong time and i was more upset than if he would have broke up with me a few days after or before. Anyway talk to her, exam stress makes us all go a little crazy and annoyed. But like you say if you don't love her anymore and you don't think it is working then the best thing to do is break up with her. But do it gently at least and make your timing right preferably after your year anniversay would be a good idea.
Good Luck

Reply 14

linkdapink

15

Anonymous

Hey man good luck. Pass any tips on. I'm in a similar boat but find it troublesome actually ending the relationship. Can relate to everything you said, even being told Im a rubbish boyfriend!

Haha you're not MY boyfriend are you?

I have a strange feeling I'm about to be dumped at the moment. Just get it over with so she can start to move on... I hate feeling like I'm being dragged along. Then again, maybe he doesnt want to leave me and is just having an "off day"

Breaking up tomorrow

Related discussions

Articles for you