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Boyfriend doesn't like condoms.
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Graylilxx
We have told you time and time again that THE PILL IS NOT 100% EFFECTIVE and therefore another form of contraception can be nothing but a good thing, unless you would rather risk the chance of getting pregnant. Now maybe you wouldn't mind having a child right now, but the op obviously doesn't want one and i'm sure lots of girls feel the same way. So why should they not be able to ask their boyfriends to wear a condom. Personally, I feel sorry for whoever would be your girlfriend
Of course it isn't. But why does it have to be? The rate of pregnancy if the pill is taken correctly is 0.3% per year. Assuming you're having sex, say, 3 times a week, that's a 0.002% chance of getting pregnant every time you have it. Only a complete paranoid would justify ruining it for the guy by enforcing a condom at those odds.
Do you seriously only do things in life if there's a 100% chance of it being safe? I hope not, or enjoy living a celibate life wearing a straight jacket in some foam-padded room somewhere.
Posts like this are the reason why so much money is being pumped into sexual awareness advertising at the moment. You have got to be trolling right?? It reminds me of the time a girl told me that if you had sex standing up you would not get pregant
Are you at school or in higher education?
Anyway you dont simply get pregnant from not using condoms, you can also get sexually transmitted diseases some of which cannot be cured yet. Its like luggage, you carry it around for life
If the OP is prone to bladder infections as she has pointed out, that means she could easily get BV and a whole host of other infections which extend further than the bladder.
Because I don't think a condom is necessary within a monogamous relationship where the girl is on the pill, you think I know nothing about safe sex? Now who's trolling?
But yes, I know what STDs are, thanks. But the point is that this is a monogamous relationship, so that rules out STDs. And as she's on the pill, the chances of getting pregnant are completely negligible. Why should the sex be ruined for the guy just to rule out that utterly minute chance of getting pregnant?
This is the fact of it:
Girl has been having unprotected sex with boyfriend for almost a year. Feels uncomfortable about it and asks boyfriend to compromise with her. He basically ignores and doesnt give a **** about what she feels as long as he feels the best he can feel during sex. Also wont get a STI test after having lots of unprotected sex.
Pretty **** if you ask me. He's just a bastard.
Girl has been having unprotected sex with boyfriend for almost a year. Feels uncomfortable about it and asks boyfriend to compromise with her. He basically ignores and doesnt give a **** about what she feels as long as he feels the best he can feel during sex. Also wont get a STI test after having lots of unprotected sex.
Pretty **** if you ask me. He's just a bastard.
FyreFight
Of course it isn't. But why does it have to be? The rate of pregnancy if the pill is taken correctly is 0.3% per year. Assuming you're having sex, say, 3 times a week, that's a 0.002% chance of getting pregnant every time you have it. Only a complete paranoid would justify ruining it for the guy by enforcing a condom at those odds.
Do you seriously only do things in life if there's a 100% chance of it being safe? I hope not, or enjoy living a celibate life in wearing a straight jacket in some foam-padded room somewhere.
Do you seriously only do things in life if there's a 100% chance of it being safe? I hope not, or enjoy living a celibate life in wearing a straight jacket in some foam-padded room somewhere.
I never resort to name calling but you are incredibly obtuse. Good luck catching the worst STD out there
Vesta
i'm surprised you haven't been negged into the red zone. 
in all seriousness, apparently he used condoms with his other girlfriends in the past. either he is lying when he's saying he can't feel anything, or he genuienly didn't feel anything with his past girlfriends (which, judging by what insight we've seen into his pathetic character, seems unlikely)
edit: in regards to "who the hell wants crap sex?" - evidently, with him never making the effort, he either is a lazy **** or isn't that bothered about sex altogether.
in all seriousness, apparently he used condoms with his other girlfriends in the past. either he is lying when he's saying he can't feel anything, or he genuienly didn't feel anything with his past girlfriends (which, judging by what insight we've seen into his pathetic character, seems unlikely)
edit: in regards to "who the hell wants crap sex?" - evidently, with him never making the effort, he either is a lazy **** or isn't that bothered about sex altogether.
I haven't once condoned his behaviour with regards to their other issues, not that it even matters because it's as much the OP's fault for being such a pushover, what I have said is that if your partner feels that strongly about not wearing them you have to take that into consideration.
As it happens, she's on the pill... otherwise it would be a different matter entirely. I think it's enough. It is not his fault that she doesn't take it properly, if she was really as paranoid as she makes out about getting pregnant the girl would be meticulous!
So, this leads me to think that wearing a condom isn't that big a deal to the OP at all.
FyreFight
Because the pill is a much better method of contraception than the condom, and the guy can't take the pill for her.
How is it better?! The condom is THE ONLY method of birth control that protects against STIs as well as pregnancy. And the girl can put the condom on for you, should you so wish.
To the OP, your boyf sounds like a complete **** and as such should be dumped immediately. If he loved you, he'd give having an STI test a go (Even though they are icky, it's far more important to be clean and safe than to never be quite sure.)
FyreFight
Of course it isn't. But why does it have to be? The rate of pregnancy if the pill is taken correctly is 0.3% per year. Assuming you're having sex, say, 3 times a week, that's a 0.002% chance of getting pregnant every time you have it. Only a complete paranoid would justify ruining it for the guy by enforcing a condom at those odds.
Do you seriously only do things in life if there's a 100% chance of it being safe? I hope not, or enjoy living a celibate life in wearing a straight jacket in some foam-padded room somewhere.
Do you seriously only do things in life if there's a 100% chance of it being safe? I hope not, or enjoy living a celibate life in wearing a straight jacket in some foam-padded room somewhere.
Thats all very well an easy for you to say, because its not your risk is it, and it is still a worry a lot of girls have yes. I think he should just try and give her a bit more respect, rather than refusing point blank.
Rokit
I never resort to name calling but you are incredibly obtuse. Good luck catching the worst STD out there
They're in a LONG TERM relationship. If she doesn't trust him enough to not cheat (this being the only way she'd catch one from him if she hasn't already)... don't have sex at all! In fact, get rid...
FyreFight
Only a complete paranoid would justify ruining it for the guy by enforcing a condom at those odds.
What about ruining it for the woman?
The OP has stated that she does not like having sex with a condom. This has nothing to do with the risk of pregnancy or STIs... She just does not enjoy the after effects of condomless sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that everything was supposed to be about the man and what he wants.
People here are making it sound like the pill is barely effective. If you look at the stats, most show that it is effective approximately 99.6% of the time, which, allowing for statistical margin of error is more or less 100% "when taken correctly." Condoms are far less effective, and if you knew anything about statistics, the added effect of condoms and birth control pills as combined methods of contraception is negligable.
If you're only point is so that sybolically, both parties "share responsibility" such an assertion is rubbage. That makes as much sense as an eye for an eye.
Certainly, until someone is in a trusting relationship with someone who is tested clean, both parties should do what is necessary to protect eachother and themselves. That said, when someone is in a trusting relationship, then I do believe that the woman taking the pill alone, makes the most sense, and is not necessary to do both, and there is an infinitely better experience without a condom. If the woman is not taking the pill then it is a mutual choice, but if the woman takes the pill, and only asks the guy to use a condom because she is irresponsible with using the pill, then I think it is her fault. Condoms break so to only rely upon condoms is stupid.
If she throws up the pill, she can take a double dose and it will be fine or they should ward off sex until after she is safe again, and they can use condoms in the interim to be safe. But you know when that happens, and there is no need except when it happens.
I'm all for sharing responsibility where it makes sense, but not just for the sake of sharing.
I think the bigger issues are: his laziness in bed (not having to do with condom use), his refusal to take an std test, her trying to put off her irresponsible pill taking on him, and her using the bs scapegoat of the "mess" to bolster her argument.
If you're only point is so that sybolically, both parties "share responsibility" such an assertion is rubbage. That makes as much sense as an eye for an eye.
Certainly, until someone is in a trusting relationship with someone who is tested clean, both parties should do what is necessary to protect eachother and themselves. That said, when someone is in a trusting relationship, then I do believe that the woman taking the pill alone, makes the most sense, and is not necessary to do both, and there is an infinitely better experience without a condom. If the woman is not taking the pill then it is a mutual choice, but if the woman takes the pill, and only asks the guy to use a condom because she is irresponsible with using the pill, then I think it is her fault. Condoms break so to only rely upon condoms is stupid.
If she throws up the pill, she can take a double dose and it will be fine or they should ward off sex until after she is safe again, and they can use condoms in the interim to be safe. But you know when that happens, and there is no need except when it happens.
I'm all for sharing responsibility where it makes sense, but not just for the sake of sharing.
I think the bigger issues are: his laziness in bed (not having to do with condom use), his refusal to take an std test, her trying to put off her irresponsible pill taking on him, and her using the bs scapegoat of the "mess" to bolster her argument.
_:_Sel_:_By_:_Date_:_16_:_
How is it better?! The condom is THE ONLY method of birth control that protects against STIs as well as pregnancy. And the girl can put the condom on for you, should you so wish.
Because there's no need for STD prevention in a long-term relationship and the pill is sufficiently effective at birth control without spoiling the experience for the guy, that's why.
FyreFight
Because there's no need for STD prevention in a long-term relationship and the pill is sufficiently effective at birth control without spoiling the experience for the guy, that's why.
It's like shona said, what about her experience and feelings. pff they obviously don't matter
This is really very simple.
This isn't about preferences - it is about safety, health and the increased possibility of both of you becoming parents.
1.
DON'T HAVE SEX WITH HIM. Just don't do it. That is, until he gets tested and gets the results, or until he agrees to use a condom.
This isn't about preferences - it is about safety, health and the increased possibility of both of you becoming parents.
McJewwy
They're in a LONG TERM relationship. If she doesn't trust him enough to not cheat (this being the only way she'd catch one from him if she hasn't already)... don't have sex at all! In fact, get rid...
10 mths??? That is not a long term relationship. Give me 5 years and then we are talking long term. If it was long term as you put it, they would be comfortable with each other and a decision such as wearing a condom would not be causing a 100+ reply thread.
There is a problem with the guy not wanting to wear a condom. It means that he would have not worn condoms with previous sex partners treating the issue like he did with his current girlfriend which is a very dangerous situation to be in.
Titch89
What if the pill fails? Or the female forgets to take it?
Exactly!
shona
What about ruining it for the woman?
The OP has stated that she does not like having sex with a condom. This has nothing to do with the risk of pregnancy or STIs... She just does not enjoy the after effects of condomless sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that everything was supposed to be about the man and what he wants.
The OP has stated that she does not like having sex with a condom. This has nothing to do with the risk of pregnancy or STIs... She just does not enjoy the after effects of condomless sex.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot that everything was supposed to be about the man and what he wants.
So when the girl doesn't want to deal with the after-part of sex like cleaning up, it's fine to make the guy wear a condom and stop him enjoying it, but when the guy wants to enjoy the actual act of it then he's being completely selfish and only thinking about himself? So double-standards are fine as long as the girl benefits?
The clean-up is part and parcel of having sex. Killing the sensation for the bloke is not.
McJewwy
I haven't once condoned his behaviour with regards to their other issues, not that it even matters because it's as much the OP's fault for being such a pushover, what I have said is that if your partner feels that strongly about not wearing them you have to take that into consideration.
As it happens, she's on the pill... otherwise it would be a different matter entirely. I think it's enough. It is not his fault that she doesn't take it properly, if she was really as paranoid as she makes out about getting pregnant the girl would be meticulous!
So, this leads me to think that wearing a condom isn't that big a deal to the OP at all.
As it happens, she's on the pill... otherwise it would be a different matter entirely. I think it's enough. It is not his fault that she doesn't take it properly, if she was really as paranoid as she makes out about getting pregnant the girl would be meticulous!
So, this leads me to think that wearing a condom isn't that big a deal to the OP at all.
oh, she's on the pill. that's alright then. let's ignore the risk of STIs, as long as there's a 95% chance she won't get pregnant so the boyfriend doesn't suffer.
this leads me to think that the OP deserves better than the excuse of a boyfriend she has. she evidently feels very strongly about wearing condoms, yet he has obviously proved to show that he is not even considering discussing it with her.
FyreFight
Because there's no need for STD prevention in a long-term relationship and the pill is sufficiently effective at birth control without spoiling the experience for the guy, that's why.
OK, but what if she accidentally forgets to take the pill, or throws up, and then falls pregnant?
SHE is the one who will have to carry the baby, or endure an abortion.
I'm sorry, but the fact of the matter is, the girl has more at stake here.
She has every right to demand he uses a condom, if that's as she wishes. Admittedly, it's rather late into the relationship, but now that they are an established couple, it is entirely reasonable for her to expect more from him.
Rokit
There is a problem with the guy not wanting to wear a condom. It means that he would have not worn condoms with previous sex partners treating the issue like he did with his current girlfriend which is a very dangerous situation to be in.
Just because a guy doesn't want to wear a condom when in a relationship doesn't mean he didn't with previous sex partners.
Only way to be safe is to use a condom until they BOTH show eachother test results that they are both clean. After that, if both trust eachother, then there is no point to using a condom if she is on the pill.
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