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Is it okay to go clubbing alone? watch

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    If I were to go to a club on my own, would other people there think I was weird, is it weird? Also would a girl think it was creepy for someone who is on there own in a club to flirt with them?
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    Depends on the club. You may find it harder to pull but on the plus side it could be a good confidence builder!
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    Yeah it's probably a little weird if it's like an actual club, however if it's a bar with a separate club area then nah that's fine.
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    To most people it'd look like you've just been separated from your friends
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    (Original post by Kolijax)
    Depends on the club. You may find it harder to pull but on the plus side it could be a good confidence builder!
    Yeah I don't tend to go to clubs much but I want to try and push myself to get out there and meet new people
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    No one would know that you're by yourself but I wouldn't tell anyone you're by yourself, just say you lost your friends if asked because it would seem a bit odd
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    You're just gonna look like you lost your friends, which is fine I guess, so long as you keep up that ruse. And following from that the girl may or may not find it weird cause girls in clubs are fickle, but if you're very clearly on your own that'd make it more difficult to get any pulling done I'd imagine.

    Going on your own does sound like a **** idea though
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    ye i did it once and just hung out with people i met on the bus going there
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    There’s always that one creepy guy who appears to be on his own, dances awkwardly by himself and stares at you, tries to come up and dance. So yes, it’s weird, yes, girls will think you’re creepy. It depends on your confidence level and how you come across as a person, but judging from you asking for social advice on tsr, I doubt you’re a social butterfly who could pull this off..
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    yeah its a little elliot rogers...
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    There’s always that one creepy guy who appears to be on his own, dances awkwardly by himself and stares at you, tries to come up and dance. So yes, it’s weird, yes, girls will think you’re creepy. It depends on your confidence level and how you come across as a person, but judging from you asking for social advice on tsr, I doubt you’re a social butterfly who could pull this off..

    girls only find it creepy if they don't find the guy hot. If they are strongly attracted to the guy they actually take pity on you or directly invite you to come with them or seek approval from their mates for you to join them.

    I remember 5 or 6 years ago I was in the club with my 1 friend and cos he is kinda short and sometimes doesn't stand that near to me sometimes girls I was chatting up would think I was by myself. I'd then be asked in an accusing tone "so who are you here with?" and you could actually see the suspicion on the girls faces. Often when I pointed my friend out, from the expression on their face it was like they were disappointed they couldn't tar me with the "creepy" label.

    After one such incident one girl noticed I was drinking a coke, and said again in an accusing tone "why aren't you drinking?" , after I told her she was still unhappy with the reason ...and seemed to want to believe I was weird for not drinking......


    fastforward to last year, and I look a bit better now due to gym....and i've moved areas and as i live a short walk away from the clubs/pubs it is not that unusual for me to take a walk by myself anytime of day and on the rare occasion it has been on fri/saturday night. I've had girls come upto me and start flirting ...and once they realised I was by myself try to invite me with them, or seek approval from their mates to invite me with them.

    This has happened twice.

    really at the end of the day i've learnt, if the girl finds you fairly attractive she won't find you being out by yourself creepy. But if she doesn't find you fairly attractive, then yes ...she will find it creepy!
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    #1

    (Original post by cat_mac)
    There’s always that one creepy guy who appears to be on his own, dances awkwardly by himself and stares at you, tries to come up and dance. So yes, it’s weird, yes, girls will think you’re creepy. It depends on your confidence level and how you come across as a person, but judging from you asking for social advice on tsr, I doubt you’re a social butterfly who could pull this off..
    A social butterfly I'm deffo not.. I think you've persuaded me not to attempt this alone thing.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    girls only find it creepy if they don't find the guy hot. If they are strongly attracted to the guy they actually take pity on you or directly invite you to come with them or seek approval from their mates for you to join them.

    I remember 5 or 6 years ago I was in the club with my 1 friend and cos he is kinda short and sometimes doesn't stand that near to me sometimes girls I was chatting up would think I was by myself. I'd then be asked in an accusing tone "so who are you here with?" and you could actually see the suspicion on the girls faces. Often when I pointed my friend out, from the expression on their face it was like they were disappointed they couldn't tar me with the "creepy" label.

    After one such incident one girl noticed I was drinking a coke, and said again in an accusing tone "why aren't you drinking?" , after I told her she was still unhappy with the reason ...and seemed to want to believe I was weird for not drinking......


    fastforward to last year, and I look a bit better now due to gym....and i've moved areas and as i live a short walk away from the clubs/pubs it is not that unusual for me to take a walk by myself anytime of day and on the rare occasion it has been on fri/saturday night. I've had girls come upto me and start flirting ...and once they realised I was by myself try to invite me with them, or seek approval from their mates to invite me with them.

    This has happened twice.

    really at the end of the day i've learnt, if the girl finds you fairly attractive she won't find you being out by yourself creepy. But if she doesn't find you fairly attractive, then yes ...she will find it creepy!
    Interesting.. so you reckon I should at least try it once or twice and decide if it's the right thing for me to do?
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    girls only find it creepy if they don't find the guy hot. If they are strongly attracted to the guy they actually take pity on you or directly invite you to come with them or seek approval from their mates for you to join them.

    I remember 5 or 6 years ago I was in the club with my 1 friend and cos he is kinda short and sometimes doesn't stand that near to me sometimes girls I was chatting up would think I was by myself. I'd then be asked in an accusing tone "so who are you here with?" and you could actually see the suspicion on the girls faces. Often when I pointed my friend out, from the expression on their face it was like they were disappointed they couldn't tar me with the "creepy" label.

    After one such incident one girl noticed I was drinking a coke, and said again in an accusing tone "why aren't you drinking?" , after I told her she was still unhappy with the reason ...and seemed to want to believe I was weird for not drinking......


    fastforward to last year, and I look a bit better now due to gym....and i've moved areas and as i live a short walk away from the clubs/pubs it is not that unusual for me to take a walk by myself anytime of day and on the rare occasion it has been on fri/saturday night. I've had girls come upto me and start flirting ...and once they realised I was by myself try to invite me with them, or seek approval from their mates to invite me with them.

    This has happened twice.

    really at the end of the day i've learnt, if the girl finds you fairly attractive she won't find you being out by yourself creepy. But if she doesn't find you fairly attractive, then yes ...she will find it creepy!
    In those examples girls have been approaching you, have your experiences the other way around been the same?
    People tend to feel more at ease around people they find attractive, if someone is constantly staring and they’re attractive it’s “flirty” but if a guy looks creepy, it’s natural to feel uneasy. If a guy with wild eyes and greasy hair is dance/creeping over to you, it’s not a comfortable situation.

    Like I said, it depends on your confidence and how you come across as a person.
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    In those examples girls have been approaching you, have your experiences the other way around been the same?
    People tend to feel more at ease around people they find attractive, if someone is constantly staring and they’re attractive it’s “flirty” but if a guy looks creepy, it’s natural to feel uneasy. If a guy with wild eyes and greasy hair is dance/creeping over to you, it’s not a comfortable situation.

    Like I said, it depends on your confidence and how you come across as a person.


    I was just going for a walk, I had no intentions on talking to anyone really ...so no I did not approach anyone.

    well actually just the once i did, but technically i wasn't alone because some promoter guys befriended me..... so i'm not sure if it counts.
    • #2
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    girls only find it creepy if they don't find the guy hot. If they are strongly attracted to the guy they actually take pity on you or directly invite you to come with them or seek approval from their mates for you to join them.

    I remember 5 or 6 years ago I was in the club with my 1 friend and cos he is kinda short and sometimes doesn't stand that near to me sometimes girls I was chatting up would think I was by myself. I'd then be asked in an accusing tone "so who are you here with?" and you could actually see the suspicion on the girls faces. Often when I pointed my friend out, from the expression on their face it was like they were disappointed they couldn't tar me with the "creepy" label.

    After one such incident one girl noticed I was drinking a coke, and said again in an accusing tone "why aren't you drinking?" , after I told her she was still unhappy with the reason ...and seemed to want to believe I was weird for not drinking......


    fastforward to last year, and I look a bit better now due to gym....and i've moved areas and as i live a short walk away from the clubs/pubs it is not that unusual for me to take a walk by myself anytime of day and on the rare occasion it has been on fri/saturday night. I've had girls come upto me and start flirting ...and once they realised I was by myself try to invite me with them, or seek approval from their mates to invite me with them.

    This has happened twice.

    really at the end of the day i've learnt, if the girl finds you fairly attractive she won't find you being out by yourself creepy. But if she doesn't find you fairly attractive, then yes ...she will find it creepy!
    I disagree. Walking on your own at night looks quite normal. However even if a guy is hot, if he tells me he's come to a club on his own, I'll think that it's very odd behaviour. I'd wonder why he hasn't got any friends to go with. And would assume he was desperate and only out to prey on girls and get laid. A guy who has been separated by his friends (however true it is) is absolutely fine, I often separate from mine.
    The only time I wouldn't think it was too weird was if it was to see a dj. As often everyone's just in one crowd all facing the dj anyway.
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    I was just going for a walk, I had no intentions on talking to anyone really ...so no I did not approach anyone.

    well actually just the once i did, but technically i wasn't alone because some promoter guys befriended me..... so i'm not sure if it counts.
    Nah that’s different. It’s just unnerving to have a guy by himself watching you in a club, obviously not all of them are creeps but I prefer to be cautious!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I disagree. Walking on your own at night looks quite normal. However even if a guy is hot, if he tells me he's come to a club on his own, I'll think that it's very odd behaviour. I'd wonder why he hasn't got any friends to go with. And would assume he was desperate and only out to prey on girls and get laid. A guy who has been separated by his friends (however true it is) is absolutely fine, I often separate from mine.
    The only time I wouldn't think it was too weird was if it was to see a dj. As often everyone's just in one crowd all facing the dj anyway.


    both times I'm referring to I was just standing around by myself.

    One time it was near to some busy bar's and a club and there were lots of groups of people about....

    a girl passed me twice, I noticed her the first time and stereotypically she did look like the type of girl who would find me attractive, and the second time she passed she said "oh, have you not got anyone to go out with?" in a sympathetic voice.

    Embarrassed that she might brand me a saddo I lied and said I was waiting for a friend, but tbh she didn't look like she believed me.

    She then said I could come and join her group If I wanted to, ..and then walked a short distance to the busy bar.

    I didn't have my passport [ID] on me or nothing so in all likelihood wouldn't have got in [it was expired anyway], ...but if I had it on me it might have followed her in...
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    Psychologically, one only finds the others weird when they are not similar to you. So to speak, it is just the culture develop such habit to use the club as a group event, you certainly have your own freedom to enjoy yourself alone.
    There is nothing wrong being alone. It is just too often that people are only brave enough to go out with someone else. Hence, when we look out from the window, like how we are affected by the mass media, we perceive the fact that hanging out must be with someone else.

    Hope it helps.
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    Its a bit odd but do what makes you happy.
 
 
 
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