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Is it transphobic to refuse to date a trans woman? asks the BBC watch

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    Nice to see that the BBC has its finger on the pulse of what really matters...

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-42652947

    Here's my two pennyworth, I'll find whoever I want attractive, end of. If you think that makes me transphobic, you can blow me. I couldn't care less.

    Does anyone on here seriously allow someone else to dictate to them who they find and don't find sexually arousing, through the threat of being thought an ist or a phobe?

    And how would it work in practice? Are we going to have hate crime legislation meaning anyone who turns down a transgender person who hits on them gets sent to jail??

    Lunacy. Sheer lunacy.
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    UK reality television show Celebrity Big Brother, where minor celebrities
    this caught me off guard lmao

    The issue's a bit odd, 'cause whether it is or it isn't "transphobic" (which at the end of the day is a matter of opinion unless somebody comes up with the strangest scientific study/philosophical argument known to man), at the end of the day you're not gonna force people to be into something.

    As you said, you can't exactly legislate against people rejecting trans people. It might just be that a trans person gets rejected because the trans person was a psychopath, or looked like a tin of Heinz spaghetti hoops, rather than their uh... innate transness.
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    (Original post by generallee)
    Nice to see that the BBC has its finger on the pulse of what really matters...
    Right, because the BBC has to always make sure that all they report on is absolutely pressing issues and not anything thats in the current conversation, right? Stupid comment.

    Anyway your opinion isnt exactly contrarian or special. Most straight people, if not the vast majority, would agree. Not sure why you gelt a thread needs to be made.

    you also seem to seriously exaggerate everything really. No one is advocating for a jail sentence. You really render yourself invalid with such silly overblown comments.
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    , I wouldnt date a women who used to be a man. does that make me evil and bad now?

    tbf, i would expect some of the SJW types to lynch me now :lol:
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    What's wrong with debating?
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    I am a heterosexual male, therefore I am only interested in romantic/sexual relationships with females. It's as simple as that. Even if the person had surgery and looked convincing initially, I'm not going to be interested in them sexually. They'd still be male and I could never be comfortable with that.
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    Yeah its also racist to refuse to date someone out your race

    Thats something I've seen being pushed as of late cause they want you to die out by not having children


    Google Abort White babies

    Having White children is White supremacy
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    within our life-time It will probably be frowned upon to not be open to dating trans people.

    You just have to look at the trajectory. I remember 6-7 years ago when I was involved in a lot of transgender things, this question got asked a lot.. what if someone just doesn't want to date you? The standard answer even amoung LGBT circles was.. thats ok, thats their preference, no one should have to date anyone.

    But Amoung the very extreme fringes and circles, the idea that all straight men should be open to dating trans-women was floating about, and whilst largely ridiculed, was still there.

    Why would it not be.. its a very easy leap in logic to make:

    Straight men are attracted to women.
    In the eyes of those LGBT activists: Transwomen ARE women.
    So straight men should be attracted to transwomen.
    If they reject her for other reasons fine.. but if they reject her for being trans = transphobic.

    The problem is the denial of biology and logic.. and that to most people there is a clear clear difference between transwomen and women.

    But - over the years the arguement gets made more and more.. and now we see it flair up in public in a bigger way then it has before, and now its poised as a contentious issue.. up for debate, rather then something that should be laughed back to the fringes as it used to be. Now there are academics supporting the issue..

    We are not there yet, but anyone who has been following the transgender movement over the past decade can see the direction we are going in.
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    No, it is not transphobic to refuse to date a trans woman.
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    On an individual basis - depends on your reason for doing so. Because you're not attracted to them? obviously not transphobic. Because "they used to be a man", where they'd be your type if they were cis? Yeah, that's transphobic.

    On a general basis it still depends on the reason - wanting children as a reason comes to mind, on the basis that then you'd also not be interested in pursuing a long term relationship with a cis-women with fertility issues. It's arguably still related to the fact that they're trans, but you'd turn down cis for the same reason, so probably not transphobic.
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    (Original post by fallen_acorns)
    within our life-time It will probably be frowned upon to not be open to dating trans people.

    You just have to look at the trajectory. I remember 6-7 years ago when I was involved in a lot of transgender things, this question got asked a lot.. what if someone just doesn't want to date you? The standard answer even amoung LGBT circles was.. thats ok, thats their preference, no one should have to date anyone.

    But Amoung the very extreme fringes and circles, the idea that all straight men should be open to dating trans-women was floating about, and whilst largely ridiculed, was still there.

    Why would it not be.. its a very easy leap in logic to make:

    Straight men are attracted to women.
    In the eyes of those LGBT activists: Transwomen ARE women.
    So straight men should be attracted to transwomen.
    If they reject her for other reasons fine.. but if they reject her for being trans = transphobic.

    The problem is the denial of biology and logic.. and that to most people there is a clear clear difference between transwomen and women.

    But - over the years the arguement gets made more and more.. and now we see it flair up in public in a bigger way then it has before, and now its poised as a contentious issue.. up for debate, rather then something that should be laughed back to the fringes as it used to be. Now there are academics supporting the issue..

    We are not there yet, but anyone who has been following the transgender movement over the past decade can see the direction we are going in.
    It's interesting to see how the 'culture war' will play out with the likes of Trump ect.. there's certainly an argument that the more you push this kind of stuff then with an aging population it's not guaranteed that we won't end up seeing a stronger alt-right. People tend to start caring about things like mortgages at the ballot box over social justice.

    At any rate i would not date somebody who was trans simply because i consider them unnatural (unless they had genuine hormonal/physical issues that saw them change as a child). If it makes me transphobic that i want a 'pure' female then i don't much give a rats.
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    (Original post by generallee)
    If you think that makes me transphobic, you can blow me.
    Unless you're transgender of course.
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    The term 'transphobic' is loaded with so many negative connotations that I wouldn't want to include this personal preference in there. Technically it could be transphobia, but only if the individual had an aversion in general to transexuals. If we're talking specifically something very emotional, very primal, then to point out that attraction (or lack of) is an irrational response is pointless. Why should someone approach everyone in their social group if they have a particular liking for one individual?

    Then there's the very obvious comparison that if a heterosexual wo/man refuses to date another wo/man then s/he is sexist (misogynistic/misandristic), and if a homosexual wo/man refuses to date a man/woman then s/he is also sexist (misandrystic/misogynistic). While you could force those definitions, it's pointless because there's no harm, they're not going to change their mind, and it just makes things awkward if you point it out.
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    If you find them attractive, you've been on a few dates, they have your preferred set of genetalia and everything's going great up until you find out they were born a different sex to the one they now present as, at which point you reject them then yeah that's clearly transphobic. Sorry y'all, but unless you can give me another reason other than you find it creepy/weird/unnatural then it's clearly transphobic.

    You can't compare it to trying to make a homosexual have a heterosexual relationship, because there's a fundamental mismatch of preferred genetalia.

    Rejecting a pre-op person, is sad for the person who's being rejected, but understandable. Not everyone can get on board with all genetalia, and that's just personal preference. Can't be helped.

    If you're rejecting someone who you had no idea was trans, until the moment they told you, then that's transphobia and you should feel bad.

    The only exception I can think of, where it wouldn't be reacting based on prejudice and phobias, might be if you desperately wanted your own kids, that was your medium-term goal, and you'd reject an cis-preffered-sex person for being infertile/not wanting kids too too. Then it's just a goal mismatch.
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    If you're refusing to date them because they're trans, then yes, by definition. Just like refusing to date someone black because they're black is racist. This also includes such veiled bigotry as it being "just a preference" to not date people from a given group...

    If you don't want to date them because they're a rude and unpleasant for example, then obviously not.
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    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    If you're refusing to date them because they're trans, then yes, by definition. Just like refusing to date someone black because they're black is racist. This also includes such veiled bigotry as it being "just a preference" to not date people from a given group...

    If you don't want to date them because they're a rude and unpleasant for example, then obviously not.
    If the idea of not dating a trans person doesn't appeal to a person sexually or otherwise it doesn't make them transphobic. A person cannot help who they find attractive or appealing.
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    (Original post by Guru Jason)
    If the idea of not dating a trans person doesn't appeal to a person sexually or otherwise it doesn't make them transphobic. A person cannot help who they find attractive or appealing.
    Seeing as everything about "what [you] find attractive" is based on socially constructed ideals of Anglo-European traditional gender roles based on now millenia old patriarchal values from religious texts written when life expectancy for women was "childbirth", and centuries old white supremacist values to encourage and support a lucrative slave trade, yea you can.

    What kind of dumb **** is this...?
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    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    If you're refusing to date them because they're trans, then yes, by definition. Just like refusing to date someone black because they're black is racist.
    I don't think it is. Everybody has their own sexual preferences, and put blankly, not everyone is attracted to black people. I personally have never found a white woman attractive because of the environment in which i have grown up. That is beyond my control. This situation is no different - as someone stated above, as a heterosexual male, I have only been attracted to women and would probably not feel comfortable dating someone who is still essentially a male.
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    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    Seeing as everything about "what [you] find attractive" is based on socially constructed ideals of Anglo-European traditional gender roles based on now millenia old patriarchal values from religious texts written when life expectancy for women was "childbirth", and centuries old white supremacist values to encourage and support a lucrative slave trade, yea you can.

    What kind of dumb **** is this...?
    You just made all that up. I could not get my **** up to a person if at any point they were a man. I wouldnt date them or sleep with them. This is not transphobic.
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    (Original post by artful_lounger)
    Seeing as everything about "what [you] find attractive" is based on socially constructed ideals of Anglo-European traditional gender roles based on now millenia old patriarchal values from religious texts written when life expectancy for women was "childbirth", and centuries old white supremacist values to encourage and support a lucrative slave trade, yea you can.

    What kind of dumb **** is this...?
    Well you answered your own question. It's real dumbass Sh*t.

    It strikes me as terrifying though that individuals that propagate this mindset are currently getting a lot of attention.
 
 
 
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