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Housemate's boyfriend has moved in and I don't like it watch

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    I live in a house with 3 other girls and for the past few months, one of the girl's boyfriend has moved into her room.
    It was so nice and chilled just living with girls but now there's a boy here it feels a bit weird. (I've lived with boys before btw)
    They're always together so I never get to hang out with her on her own. We used to go shopping and stuff together but now she has him she does everything with him.

    Before this she used to spend loads of time at his house and it meant I hardly saw her which was also a bit rubbish but at least when I did see her back home she'd be on her own.
    He's a nice guy but not particularly outgoing and friendly so I find it awkward being around him sometimes. We've hung out (as a 3 ofc) and get on but I wouldn't class him as a friend.

    Me and this girl share a bathroom but now he's here he uses our bathroom as well. He doesn't contribute to buying toilet roll, hand wash or do any cleaning. He's not particularly messy but sometimes leaves skid marks in the toilet (but that isn't something I can really bring up or be a reason for him to move out).

    I don't really know what to do or if it's even my place to say anything. He doesn't really do anything wrong but it's so crap living with an inseparable couple. She also didn't even ask us if it was ok for him to move in. Our bills are all included so can't use that as a reason either.
    I know him the best out of the other girls so I can only imagine how much weirder it is for them to have this random boy living here.

    If I told her I wasn't keen on him living here I think she'd be annoyed at me. I just don't think she realises what it's like to have a boy we're not friends with move in. She's only thinking of herself. Can anyone think of a more subtle way? Or am I just going to have to deal with it.
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    Does your landlord know he's moved in and how do the others feel about it?
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    you should snitch to the landlord
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    (Original post by (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ)
    Does your landlord know he's moved in and how do the others feel about it?
    (Original post by gr8wizard10)
    you should snitch to the landlord
    Agh that feels so snakey. Is there anything the landlord can really do? We're allowed guests and boyfriends to stay over but don't know what the policy is on extended stays. Housemate would know one of us snitched as well so would probably permanently move into boyfriend's. Which I don't really want because she's a good friend.
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    If he has effectively moved in then the landlord should know as the boy can aquire tenants rights I believe.

    Once the landlord talks about an new contract and he has to contribute and you all have to agree then he'll move out if he already has a contract with anothe landlord.
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    I think landlord would need to know for insurance purposes. I would ask both the housemate and boyfriend to double their contribution to 'kitty' for cleaning products, loo roll, tea, coffee etc. As there are now 2 of them, they are using twice as much. I'd also ask him which bit of the cleaning he wants to do.
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    (Original post by melliottme)
    If he has effectively moved in then the landlord should know as the boy can aquire tenants rights I believe.

    Once the landlord talks about an new contract and he has to contribute and you all have to agree then he'll move out if he already has a contract with anothe landlord.
    Well he spends every night here and has his xbox and clothes and stuff but he still has his room in his house that he pays for. And I'm assuming his other bedroom has the rest of his belongings that he doesn't need daily. So he hasn't fully moved in. Must be pretty crap for his old housemates if he's no longer there. He said he likes our house better because it's cleaner but I think that's a bit unfair because we put the effort in to have a nice clean house and now he thinks he can just come and live here and it's all peachy
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    (Original post by Fee2565)
    I think landlord would need to know for insurance purposes. I would ask both the housemate and boyfriend to double their contribution to 'kitty' for cleaning products, loo roll, tea, coffee etc. As there are now 2 of them, they are using twice as much. I'd also ask him which bit of the cleaning he wants to do.
    Well what has happened now is they have their own loo roll and they don't put any in our shared bathroom and I have my own separate one. I'm assuming they're just using the her loo roll and she's happy sharing it. For cleaning products, we don't have a kitty one of us just buys when something needs replacing. And it's always me who replaces because I'd rather just buy hand soap then have to wait around for them to go to the shops. I might jokingly suggest that he has to do the hoovering up now if he's going to live here. Not that he'd take any initiative and do it.
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    He's taking the piss and so is she. She should move in with him.
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    A guest can stay for no more than 2 weeks over the course of 6 months, which is quite strict! Any longer than this and they are considered a tenant. You could use this to your advantage in this situation. You say the girl is a good friend of yours- bring it up like that 'I'm worried that him staying so much could put our tenancy in jeopardy' (which is true, because if you've got an illegal tenant your landlord could kick you out).

    This is always an issue in student houses, and as he has a place as well maybe they could do weekends at yours and weeknights at his or something so you know when he's going to be in your house and when he won't?
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    That is annoying
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    Speak to your other housemates. If you make an issue of it and everyone backs her up you'll come out looking like the bad guy whereas if everyone supports you then you can probably prompt things to change. What would be reasonable anyway is to ask that he contributes to household goods (cleaning supplies/toilet roll etc) in whatever system you currently have and that he takes turns doing chores around the house. If he's living there more than a couple of nights a week then he's using things and should be helping out. After that it depends what your other hosuemates think. If they agree with you that they don't like it then have a flat meeting - preferably without him there - and say you're all a bit unhappy with the situation and ask that he only stays over X nights a week and lives at his own place the rest of the time. Just be honest and say you want to compromise but it's not fair on everyone else to have an extra person in the house that they didn't agree to live with.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I live in a house with 3 other girls and for the past few months, one of the girl's boyfriend has moved into her room.
    It was so nice and chilled just living with girls but now there's a boy here it feels a bit weird. (I've lived with boys before btw)
    They're always together so I never get to hang out with her on her own. We used to go shopping and stuff together but now she has him she does everything with him.

    Before this she used to spend loads of time at his house and it meant I hardly saw her which was also a bit rubbish but at least when I did see her back home she'd be on her own.
    He's a nice guy but not particularly outgoing and friendly so I find it awkward being around him sometimes. We've hung out (as a 3 ofc) and get on but I wouldn't class him as a friend.

    Me and this girl share a bathroom but now he's here he uses our bathroom as well. He doesn't contribute to buying toilet roll, hand wash or do any cleaning. He's not particularly messy but sometimes leaves skid marks in the toilet (but that isn't something I can really bring up or be a reason for him to move out).

    I don't really know what to do or if it's even my place to say anything. He doesn't really do anything wrong but it's so crap living with an inseparable couple. She also didn't even ask us if it was ok for him to move in. Our bills are all included so can't use that as a reason either.
    I know him the best out of the other girls so I can only imagine how much weirder it is for them to have this random boy living here.

    If I told her I wasn't keen on him living here I think she'd be annoyed at me. I just don't think she realises what it's like to have a boy we're not friends with move in. She's only thinking of herself. Can anyone think of a more subtle way? Or am I just going to have to deal with it.
    I think you will find that there is a cap on the utility bills even Durham university Queens campus do it. All landlords we know who offer included have a cap as the tenants need an incentive not to abuse the heating etc.

    Check your allowance and ask the landlord if its on target i.e. Not running high!!
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    She can't do that. So what if she gets annoyed? She has been a selfish beatch and you deserve to feel comfortable in your own home.
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    (Original post by melliottme)
    I think you will find that there is a cap on the utility bills even Durham university Queens campus do it. All landlords we know who offer included have a cap as the tenants need an incentive not to abuse the heating etc.

    Check your allowance and ask the landlord if its on target i.e. Not running high!!
    Yeah if we use our utilities super excessively but one extra 10 minute shower a day doesn't really affect it. We don't have to consciously think about heating or electricity etc. there's no way we would go over more than what the landlord is expecting (plus she's like a chilled mum). So yeah unfortunately I wouldn't be able to use that as an excuse. But it is unfair for him to be sponging off us even if he is paying his own rent somewhere else.
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    (Original post by Seamus123)
    He's taking the piss and so is she. She should move in with him.
    ^^
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    (Original post by doodle_333)
    Speak to your other housemates. If you make an issue of it and everyone backs her up you'll come out looking like the bad guy whereas if everyone supports you then you can probably prompt things to change. What would be reasonable anyway is to ask that he contributes to household goods (cleaning supplies/toilet roll etc) in whatever system you currently have and that he takes turns doing chores around the house. If he's living there more than a couple of nights a week then he's using things and should be helping out. After that it depends what your other hosuemates think. If they agree with you that they don't like it then have a flat meeting - preferably without him there - and say you're all a bit unhappy with the situation and ask that he only stays over X nights a week and lives at his own place the rest of the time. Just be honest and say you want to compromise but it's not fair on everyone else to have an extra person in the house that they didn't agree to live with.
    That's a good point. And that would be reasonable but if I'm honest I don't really care too much about him contributing because I'd rather he just didn't live here haha. Exactly, if we knew we were going to be living with a couple, we wouldn't have agreed to the house. In fact we were doing this girl a favour because she didn't want to live with her old housemates.
    I haven't spoken to anyone else about it yet, they'll probably say they don't mind but I've noticed since the girl and her boyfriend have come back after Christmas, everyone is in their rooms more. No one really chills in the lounge now because their bedroom is next door and they're always moving about the house. Basically monopolising the house.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's a good point. And that would be reasonable but if I'm honest I don't really care too much about him contributing because I'd rather he just didn't live here haha. Exactly, if we knew we were going to be living with a couple, we wouldn't have agreed to the house. In fact we were doing this girl a favour because she didn't want to live with her old housemates.
    I haven't spoken to anyone else about it yet, they'll probably say they don't mind but I've noticed since the girl and her boyfriend have come back after Christmas, everyone is in their rooms more. No one really chills in the lounge now because their bedroom is next door and they're always moving about the house. Basically monopolising the house.
    See if you can get others on side. The living room thing tends to happen with couples as suddenly it feels like 2v1 on any discussions over tv etc and no one wants to be 3rd wheel. If you try and force him to contribute he might go home more to avoid it...
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    loveleest
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    At the end of the day when you agreed to enter a tenancy agreement with these girls, you did not agree for one of their boyfriends to move in.

    I would speak to the two other girls and see how they feel. If they happen to feel the same way, confront the girl and tell her how you collectively feel. Hopefully that will be enough!

    I speak from experience :P. You don't want to get into a situation where they offer to pay some rent etc. but you don't actually want them living there full stop.

    Good luck I guess!
 
 
 
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