Are intelligent people disadvantaged in finding a partner? Watch

playingcards
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#1
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When it comes to proper relationships, do you believe intelligent people are at a natural disadvantage?

If we take, say, the most intelligent fifth of society, which I think most TSR members would be in, by mere percentages, if you want a serious partner to connect with on a intellectual level, surely crucial (?), then the possible number of partners is automatically restricted to this top fifth as well. Meanwhile, the 'average' (loathe to call it is though ) 60% of society is almost spoilt.

I've just been thinking that my more intelligent friends have had far fewer relationships than others, but they have tended to last longer and be more serious. Personally, I haven't properly liked a girl unless they appeal on an intellectual level.

Any opinions? I know this sounds a bit like some dodgy IQ apartheid-esque elitism, but would your own experiences correspond to the above?
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Sanity Panda
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#2
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Yes I believe so, but only because some are more likely to try connect on an intellectual level. Let's face it, relationships are more about an emotional connection.
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h82think
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My bf is much more intelligent than me- but it works as he has intellectual conversations with his friends and then has a silly laugh with me :P
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Dionysus
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I think that's true. Personally I'm only ever interested in girls (I mean in terms of long-term prospects rather than a one-night thing) if they're intellectually similar to me.
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FrenchGal
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I certainly am :rolleyes:

Joke aside, it might be more difficult for 'intelligent' people to find a partner, but I wouldn't give the same reasons as you: from what I've noticed, intelligent people keep questionning everything all the time and don't let themselves go because they're always rationalizing everything. Thus, whenever they are in a relationship, they can't help wondering if they are happy enough.

That's how it is with me anyway - if I can be considered as an intelligent person :p: I always end up relationships because I keep asking myself questions about the relationship and I always come to the conclusion that this is not it.

I definitely need to chill :p:
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Thud
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Perhaps some people like the challenge of putting up with someone a lot less intelligent than them?
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boom-gurl
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I consider myself intelligent- but never had problems with guys.
And my friends are intelligent aswell and we all do fine.
The only way I could see intelligent people having a problem is if they are conscious and embarrassed of being a bit nerdy, and therefore being nervous or shy.
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Spudder
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Intelligent people aren't disadvantaged if they don't use their intelligence as a method of proving they are better than someone, or displaying it purposefully with the intent of showing how intelligent they are (you know, bar exams etc).
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death.drop
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not really, it's all about finding someone you click with.
just because they're not in the top fifth doesn't mean they'll automatically be compatible with everyone else who isn't.
same with people in the top fifth.
hard to explain i guess.

my boyfriend is dyslexic and didn't do well in his GCSEs (not because of that) and isn't really academic. but i find him to be a very bright, intelligent person. he certainly knows a lot more about the world than me and we learn a lot from each other.

i have one friend who is incredibly academic and he'll have a hard time finding a girlfriend, not because he's academic, but because he's an arrogant prick. so yes, intelligence can be a factor. but it's really not the most important thing. especially when you find that person who you have a certain something with.
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madima
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#10
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intelligent people can act unintelligent;
unintelligent people cannot act intelligent.

therefore intelligent people have the advantage.
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FrenchGal
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my boyfriend is dyslexic and didn't do well in his GCSEs (not because of that) and isn't really academic. but i find him to be a very bright, intelligent person.
Academic success and intelligence are not the same thing. I've met a lot of really successful people in my courses, and some of them are not intelligent at all - they just know a lot of stuff and brag about it all day.

My mum had never achieved anything academically speaking, but she's very good at human relationships and she's a true team leader, I think she's far more intelligent than many of the pricks I've met who did well at exams.
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death.drop
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(Original post by Thud)
Perhaps some people like the challenge of putting up with someone a lot less intelligent than them?
"putting up with"? risky choice of words there methinks.
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Thud
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(Original post by death.drop)
"putting up with"? risky choice of words there methinks.
Maybe but I for one would get very very irritated if I went out with someone a lot less intelligent than me. I've been in classes with these people and they annoy me. I can't imagine going out with someone who's not my intellectual equal, if not even a bit more intelligent so I can learn from them.
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death.drop
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(Original post by FrenchGal)
Academic success and intelligence are not the same thing. I've met a lot of really successful people in my courses, and some of them are not intelligent at all - they just know a lot of stuff and brag about it all day.

My mum had never achieved anything academically speaking, but she's very good at human relationships and she's a true team leader, I think she's far more intelligent than many of the pricks I've met who did well at exams.
yeah i do realise that, it's why i said i find him to be very intelligent.

just the way the OP put it sounded like he was talking about people who do well academically. he also mentioned IQ, and my boyfriend doesn't have a very high IQ - i think that's a bad measure.
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FrenchGal
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(Original post by death.drop)
yeah i do realise that, it's why i said i find him to be very intelligent.

just the way the OP put it sounded like he was talking about people who do well academically. he also mentioned IQ, and my boyfriend doesn't have a very high IQ - i think that's a bad measure.
To me, intelligence is all about the way you handle people and situations.
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playingcards
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Sorry... by intelligence... I mean a general knowledge and considered opinions on things, as opposed to a sparkling academic record. Many of my friends are incredibly intelligent and knowledgeable but just don't give a **** about exams; I get on with them much better than the workoholics. I shouldn't have used IQ; just struggling with semantics.
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Saffie
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Well there's different types of intelligence- emotional, social, scientific, languages... etc

You're probably just considering intelligence as people who work hard and get good grades, straight As. Whereas actually, the fact they get good grades might well indicate that they're really boring and all they do is study! :p:

Whereas 'Mr Average' might not go to a good uni, but he's watched every documentary and film going, spent hours socialising, and can chat to anyone.

In which case, I think i'd prefer Mr Average.
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Wind Guru
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(Original post by FrenchGal)
Academic success and intelligence are not the same thing. I've met a lot of really successful people in my courses, and some of them are not intelligent at all - they just know a lot of stuff and brag about it all day.

My mum had never achieved anything academically speaking, but she's very good at human relationships and she's a true team leader, I think she's far more intelligent than many of the pricks I've met who did well at exams.
Agreed!

I think people who are intelligent are those who seek profundity around them, and enjoy things through appreciation, (For example a glass of wine with a meal discussing such events that are happening in the world). Therefore their 'standards' are more specific rather than searching for someone who is 'just fit'. I personally find is exceedingly off putting if someone has poor grammar, or doesn't see scenery such as the nights sky breathtaking. I find that they have limited views and I'd like to share my opinions with someone.
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Ayla Phoenix
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#19
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(Original post by playingcards)
Sorry... by intelligence... I mean a general knowledge and considered opinions on things, as opposed to a sparkling academic record. Many of my friends are incredibly intelligent and knowledgeable but just don't give a **** about exams; I get on with them much better than the workoholics. I shouldn't have used IQ; just struggling with semantics.

Yeah, that's better clarified.
Different types of intelligence appeal to different people - but in saying that I am attracted more so to people who are on the same par in terms of intelligence.
It's a complicated thing, I don't think it relies so heavily on intelligence as one might initially think, you've got to take in a whole other range of factors that people consider, like their emotional intelligence and attractiveness to you.
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death.drop
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#20
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that's ok....i shouldn't have assumed.

in that case... i don't think i have a problem with people who don't really know anything but it would annoy me if they never wanted to learn/just didn't care or were those really annoying people who don't know what they're talking about but refuse to admit that.

that point about my arrogant friend still stands though. he knows a lot about everything. though by french gals standards he isn't intelligent at all.

i'd still say that intelligence is a factor, but it's not the most important factor.
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