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I want her to be my girlfriend but why isn't she ready? watch

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    So I've been dating a girl for a month, who I met on a dating site. Things have been going amazing. I've met her family, she's met my friends, we talk pretty much all day everyday, we have so much in common. I want her to be my girlfriend. But she doesn't feel ready. Is this normal?
    She says she scared of getting hurt after her last boyfriend broke her heart. Maybe the wounds are still fresh. We're exclusive pretty much. We're not interested in seeing other people.
    She's hinted that we could still take it steady but with the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, but then changed her mind. I just find it confusing.
    I guess what I'm trying to ask is how long does it normally take for 2 people to decide to make it official? What normally needs to be in place? When will she be ready?
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    How long ago did her last relationship end? For some people it takes a while to rebuild trust. She's probably scared that you'll do the same to her as her last boyfriend did. If you really like this girl and want it to last, just be patient and support her. Let her talk to you about what she's feeling, about her concerns about a new relationship. Don't pressure her or you might scare her away.
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    She isn't interested in you in that way.
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    She’s not that into you. Sounds like she’s keeping her options open. Not wanting the ‘official’ title means there’s someone(s) that she doesn’t want to know that she’s with someone.

    Weird that she’s introduced you to her family though?
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    It means she has someone else on the line if she doesn't want the girlfriend title. Just a hunch but i'd be a bit more careful and cautious with her.
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    Stop pushing her in ways that she clearly does not want.
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    Lay down the law with her. You need to be tough with women otherwise they treat you like ****.
    • #1
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    How long ago did her last relationship end? For some people it takes a while to rebuild trust. She's probably scared that you'll do the same to her as her last boyfriend did. If you really like this girl and want it to last, just be patient and support her. Let her talk to you about what she's feeling, about her concerns about a new relationship. Don't pressure her or you might scare her away.
    It was in August of last year, but it seems like things went sour before. Fortunately we do talk a lot and she always says I'm really understanding. Maybe I just need to do what I'm doing
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    She’s not that into you. Sounds like she’s keeping her options open. Not wanting the ‘official’ title means there’s someone(s) that she doesn’t want to know that she’s with someone.

    Weird that she’s introduced you to her family though?
    Yeah, surely she wouldnt have me meet her family if she wasn't serious though?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, surely she wouldnt have me meet her family if she wasn't serious though?
    What was the situation with her family? Was it an ‘introducing the boyfriend’ bringing you to theirs for dinner meet the family?
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    • #1
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    I want to ask her what can I do to make her feel comfortable enough. I mean, is a month of dating really a long enough time? She had a good point. She said that some of her other boyfriends she had known as friends for a few months, but we've pretty much got nothing other than a month of dates.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been dating a girl for a month, who I met on a dating site. Things have been going amazing. I've met her family, she's met my friends, we talk pretty much all day everyday, we have so much in common. I want her to be my girlfriend. But she doesn't feel ready. Is this normal?
    She says she scared of getting hurt after her last boyfriend broke her heart. Maybe the wounds are still fresh. We're exclusive pretty much. We're not interested in seeing other people.
    She's hinted that we could still take it steady but with the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, but then changed her mind. I just find it confusing.
    I guess what I'm trying to ask is how long does it normally take for 2 people to decide to make it official? What normally needs to be in place? When will she be ready?
    Don't take it personal. She does seem interested in you but she needs to rebuild that trust, which understandably is important in a relationship.
    Basically she doesn't want to rush into things before actually getting hurt. It is normal per se because she's only started getting to know you a little more. Give her time and respect that she needs to do that.

    Most people/couples have been hurt like that before and it just causes so much unnecessary pain and heartbreak. :sadnod:
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    Cut loose and move on. Girls are non-committal about everything - if she isn't going to respect you enough to give you a direct yes or no answer, she is not worth your time. If she was properly into you, she wouldn't hesitate to say yes or even suggest a compromise (e.g. "take it slowly") - that's common sense. Have a bit of self-respect and don't let yourself be strung along any more. Ghost her for a while and see what her reaction is. If I was you I would have already decided that she isn't worth the effort. I agree with what was said above that she's probably interested in somebody else, which is why she won't say yes to you, but she's too ***** to say no in case it "hurts your feelings".
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    Do you have nothing better to do than to talk to this young woman, who is not even your girlfriend "all day everyday"?
    Cheez, get a life!

    Do you think women are atracted more to men who talk to them all day, or men who are out go-getting all day, who then share high quality leisure time with their friends in the evening?

    Work hard, play hard.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So I've been dating a girl for a month, who I met on a dating site. Things have been going amazing. I've met her family, she's met my friends, we talk pretty much all day everyday, we have so much in common. I want her to be my girlfriend. But she doesn't feel ready. Is this normal?
    She says she scared of getting hurt after her last boyfriend broke her heart. Maybe the wounds are still fresh. We're exclusive pretty much. We're not interested in seeing other people.
    She's hinted that we could still take it steady but with the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, but then changed her mind. I just find it confusing.
    I guess what I'm trying to ask is how long does it normally take for 2 people to decide to make it official? What normally needs to be in place? When will she be ready?
    Might be worth backing off a bit she is obviously scared.
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    (Original post by cat_mac)
    What was the situation with her family? Was it an ‘introducing the boyfriend’ bringing you to theirs for dinner meet the family?
    It was over Christmas. Apparently it was her parents idea. Not quite family meal. They got me a Christmas present which I thought was pretty sweet. I seem to get on really well with her sister
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It was in August of last year, but it seems like things went sour before. Fortunately we do talk a lot and she always says I'm really understanding. Maybe I just need to do what I'm doing
    Yeah just keep supporting her and being a good guy for her. She'll be ready at her own pace and being rushed won't help her.
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    she just needs time, give her time, being exclusive means youre together but without the labels, but be careful and tell her how you feel, and that youre not talking to anyone else, and ask her if shes doing the same?

    i mean maybe she doesnt want to jump from one relationship to another in such a short space of time?
    • #1
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    (Original post by DrawTheLine)
    Yeah just keep supporting her and being a good guy for her. She'll be ready at her own pace and being rushed won't help her.
    I guess. I'm taking her out for Valentines Day, going somewhere I'm confident she'll enjoy. Then have a home cooked meal. After that, I'll ask her how she would feel about making it official. But still taking it slow.
    • #2
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    People develop feelings at different speeds. She seems happy with you. Maybe she just doesn't want to put a tile on it. She still seems to be hurt over the ex. Take a small step back. Don't pressure here. Just enjoy seeing her and it will happen.
 
 
 
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