The Student Room Group

Email wording?

(Tutor name),

If yesterday's lecture about granting the class an extension was not indirectly aimed towards me then feel free to ignore this email and I'm sorry.
You can also ignore this if you do not want me to bother you with what I have to say as I feel you're getting frustrated or irritated by me - again I can only apologise, I'm sorry.

Please only read this if the lecture to the class yesterday was about me needing an extension for (insert unit).

I have a few concerns to raise with you about the lecture you gave to the class about the extension and the learner who asked for it.

I understand that you were spoken to by (counsellor name), my current counsellor at college, about granting me a short extension for the work we are currently doing.

(Counsellor name) suggested to me during the session I had with her on (date of counselling session) that I ask for an extension on my work as she could see that I was very stressed and overwhelmed about it. She offered to ask this herself if I didn't feel comfortable enough to do this, and, after thinking it through, decided I wasn't comfortable with doing so and allowed her to tell you about what we talked about in the session.

I am unsure of the details she told you and can only assume she told you all of what was said as she didn't tell me what she was going to say beforehand.

I apologise for the fact that I did not take responsibility and tell you myself about the issues I was having with completing the assignment. I do not know your confidentiality policy and did not know how to approach the topic in a suitable way.

Furthermore, I apologise for not coming to you sooner as I understand we have had this assignment for nearly 2 weeks (excluding the time over Christmas and New Year) and also understand that I could have contacted you regarding the assignment in the first few days of receiving it to tell you my concerns.

I understand that you did not wish to give an extension to the class, especially when the assignment is only one task long and I also apologise for this. I also understand that you couldn't give an extension to just one person for a reason which you felt didn't require it.

This is where my concerns start. If this lecture about the assignment extension was aimed towards me, I can only say that I am confused. I do not know what (counsellor name) had told you, but I told her that I was very stressed, anxious and a little overwhelmed by the work of the (unit number) assignments, and have been not wanting to live on and off for the last few weeks. (Counsellor name) knows this and is working with me to help me. She is okay to not need to contact anyone else as she feels I'm safe.

If (counsellor name) did not go into detail of my issues around the assignments, then I understand why you may have felt that I would not have needed any extra time on the first assignment. However, I hope you can understand that it is difficult to concentrate or do any work when I am feeling like this.

My next concern is that you said I (if it was me you were talking about) asked for an extension in a 'sly' and 'underhanded' way, and that asking for an extension was 'cheeky'. I understand you were in a bad mood yesterday and this may have been a result of that. However, I feel that this could have been worded better, and personally I don't think that a counsellor approaching you about any learner needing more time should be taken as an 'underhanded' method to get more time on an assignment. Surely a counsellor would understand that the learner is having issues and the tutor should take this seriously? Not to say that you did not take it seriously, but it seemed that you were more annoyed than anything that you were requested more time on an assignment. Again this may have been because you were not in a good mood yesterday. I apologise if I am seeming to be rude here, I really do not mean to be.

One of the last concerns I want to bring up is that, if you had an issue with giving an extension, then it would have been much more suitable for you to have a conversation with me one on one rather than confronting the whole class about it. I think that telling the class was uncalled for and was completely unnecessary.

If you did not want to agree to an extension, or did not see my reasoning for asking for one, you could have asked me, or emailed me if you were busy. It wasn't necessary for you to explain to the class that 'someone' - presumably me - has requested an extension and you're not happy about it. I knew you wouldn't be happy about anyone asking for an extension in the first place, however I felt that it was better to ask and not get one than to need one and not ask for one, especially because my mental health is the issue that is preventing me doing the work. I thought you may have understood that I am trying the best I can, and considering that (counsellor name) spoke to you, you might understand that it's not that I don't care about the work.

I understand I may be incorrect with my assumptions however. Would it have been better for me to not ask? I could have submitted what I had up to today and if I got a Pass then I would have to resubmit to get a higher grade just like anyone else in the class.

Please understand that I am not trying to be rude in my email and do not want you to get the wrong impression. I only wish that instead of speaking to the class about the issue, you could have emailed me or spoken to me instead.

Also, if you were not speaking about me in your discussion about extensions to the class, please disregard everything in this email.

If you do wish to discuss this email with me, please do not do it in front of the class.

Apologies,
(My name)
Original post by Anonymous
(Tutor name),

If yesterday's lecture about granting the class an extension was not indirectly aimed towards me then feel free to ignore this email and I'm sorry.
You can also ignore this if you do not want me to bother you with what I have to say as I feel you're getting frustrated or irritated by me - again I can only apologise, I'm sorry.

Please only read this if the lecture to the class yesterday was about me needing an extension for (insert unit).

I have a few concerns to raise with you about the lecture you gave to the class about the extension and the learner who asked for it.

I understand that you were spoken to by (counsellor name), my current counsellor at college, about granting me a short extension for the work we are currently doing.

(Counsellor name) suggested to me during the session I had with her on (date of counselling session) that I ask for an extension on my work as she could see that I was very stressed and overwhelmed about it. She offered to ask this herself if I didn't feel comfortable enough to do this, and, after thinking it through, decided I wasn't comfortable with doing so and allowed her to tell you about what we talked about in the session.

I am unsure of the details she told you and can only assume she told you all of what was said as she didn't tell me what she was going to say beforehand.

I apologise for the fact that I did not take responsibility and tell you myself about the issues I was having with completing the assignment. I do not know your confidentiality policy and did not know how to approach the topic in a suitable way.

Furthermore, I apologise for not coming to you sooner as I understand we have had this assignment for nearly 2 weeks (excluding the time over Christmas and New Year) and also understand that I could have contacted you regarding the assignment in the first few days of receiving it to tell you my concerns.

I understand that you did not wish to give an extension to the class, especially when the assignment is only one task long and I also apologise for this. I also understand that you couldn't give an extension to just one person for a reason which you felt didn't require it.

This is where my concerns start. If this lecture about the assignment extension was aimed towards me, I can only say that I am confused. I do not know what (counsellor name) had told you, but I told her that I was very stressed, anxious and a little overwhelmed by the work of the (unit number) assignments, and have been not wanting to live on and off for the last few weeks. (Counsellor name) knows this and is working with me to help me. She is okay to not need to contact anyone else as she feels I'm safe.

If (counsellor name) did not go into detail of my issues around the assignments, then I understand why you may have felt that I would not have needed any extra time on the first assignment. However, I hope you can understand that it is difficult to concentrate or do any work when I am feeling like this.

My next concern is that you said I (if it was me you were talking about) asked for an extension in a 'sly' and 'underhanded' way, and that asking for an extension was 'cheeky'. I understand you were in a bad mood yesterday and this may have been a result of that. However, I feel that this could have been worded better, and personally I don't think that a counsellor approaching you about any learner needing more time should be taken as an 'underhanded' method to get more time on an assignment. Surely a counsellor would understand that the learner is having issues and the tutor should take this seriously? Not to say that you did not take it seriously, but it seemed that you were more annoyed than anything that you were requested more time on an assignment. Again this may have been because you were not in a good mood yesterday. I apologise if I am seeming to be rude here, I really do not mean to be.

One of the last concerns I want to bring up is that, if you had an issue with giving an extension, then it would have been much more suitable for you to have a conversation with me one on one rather than confronting the whole class about it. I think that telling the class was uncalled for and was completely unnecessary.

If you did not want to agree to an extension, or did not see my reasoning for asking for one, you could have asked me, or emailed me if you were busy. It wasn't necessary for you to explain to the class that 'someone' - presumably me - has requested an extension and you're not happy about it. I knew you wouldn't be happy about anyone asking for an extension in the first place, however I felt that it was better to ask and not get one than to need one and not ask for one, especially because my mental health is the issue that is preventing me doing the work. I thought you may have understood that I am trying the best I can, and considering that (counsellor name) spoke to you, you might understand that it's not that I don't care about the work.

I understand I may be incorrect with my assumptions however. Would it have been better for me to not ask? I could have submitted what I had up to today and if I got a Pass then I would have to resubmit to get a higher grade just like anyone else in the class.

Please understand that I am not trying to be rude in my email and do not want you to get the wrong impression. I only wish that instead of speaking to the class about the issue, you could have emailed me or spoken to me instead.

Also, if you were not speaking about me in your discussion about extensions to the class, please disregard everything in this email.

If you do wish to discuss this email with me, please do not do it in front of the class.

Apologies,
(My name)

I think you should print this out and speak to your counsellor about it and then together go and speak to your teacher.

Because you’re not sure about whether the teacher was talking about your request your concerns are getting lost in the email. Having your concerns printed out and to hand and having your counsellor with you to act as your advocate is more likely to help you resolve the situation. Especially considering that the teacher concerned seems to have a bee in their bonnet about anything that isn’t a direct conversation!

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