The Student Room Group

Advice? Really like someone but don't want a relationship

So basically I'm really confused. I really like this boy but it's making me so upset because I don't really want a relationship because at my age (14) it won't really work out. So a bit of background:

For the sake of this I'm going to call the boy Dan
So I knew Dan from being in his maths class last year but I'd never really spoken to him. This year I got sat next to him in maths. We made friends and we're always making each other laugh and it got the the point where I'd look forward to maths just so I could talk to him. This was when I first started to think maybe I like him. When we came back after the Christmas holiday I was secretly looking forward to maths to talk to him after 2 weeks. But then we got a new seating plan. Inside I was crushed but I definitely didn't show it. I was upset for a few days but then he started making an effort to come over to me. For example walking together to English after maths and coming to stand and talk to me after English and coming over to where I sit in science and working with me. I recently realised that I actually do like him like that. Today in science the girl he sits with was crying (because of something going on but I spoke to her she's fine) and he was asking her what was wrong and he said things like come on please tell me and I do know that he was saying these things because he's a genuinely nice person and he wouldn't want to see other people upset but still I felt that bit of jealousy that he'd never said anything as caring and kind to me.

The problem is that I don't want a relationship right now. Because I'm going (14 yr 10) the only time we'd really see each other would be at school. I'd just find that It couldn't work and I wouldn't be happy because a relationship like that at school would be awkward and I think I'd just find it weird him being in my lessons because I wouldn't know what to do and I don't want to get myself in that situation.
But the thing is I do really like him and I get so jealous when I see him talking to other people (selfish I know but honestly it's human nature).
Any advice on what I should do?
Original post by Anonymous
So basically I'm really confused. I really like this boy but it's making me so upset because I don't really want a relationship because at my age (14) it won't really work out. So a bit of background:

For the sake of this I'm going to call the boy Dan
So I knew Dan from being in his maths class last year but I'd never really spoken to him. This year I got sat next to him in maths. We made friends and we're always making each other laugh and it got the the point where I'd look forward to maths just so I could talk to him. This was when I first started to think maybe I like him. When we came back after the Christmas holiday I was secretly looking forward to maths to talk to him after 2 weeks. But then we got a new seating plan. Inside I was crushed but I definitely didn't show it. I was upset for a few days but then he started making an effort to come over to me. For example walking together to English after maths and coming to stand and talk to me after English and coming over to where I sit in science and working with me. I recently realised that I actually do like him like that. Today in science the girl he sits with was crying (because of something going on but I spoke to her she's fine) and he was asking her what was wrong and he said things like come on please tell me and I do know that he was saying these things because he's a genuinely nice person and he wouldn't want to see other people upset but still I felt that bit of jealousy that he'd never said anything as caring and kind to me.

The problem is that I don't want a relationship right now. Because I'm going (14 yr 10) the only time we'd really see each other would be at school. I'd just find that It couldn't work and I wouldn't be happy because a relationship like that at school would be awkward and I think I'd just find it weird him being in my lessons because I wouldn't know what to do and I don't want to get myself in that situation.
But the thing is I do really like him and I get so jealous when I see him talking to other people (selfish I know but honestly it's human nature).
Any advice on what I should do?


Sister I completely feel you here ~ I'm a couple years older, but tbh there's never really a 'good time' for a relationship, when you think about it. Y10-11 is GCSEs, Y12-13 ALevels, then in uni you want to get your best degree you can, then job focus on a career etc etc! So essentially, I shall give the advice I have been given, and I have given, many a time; flirt and enjoy it.

I empathise on the whole 'completely random unjustified jealously' thing, but that just takes practice, and hey, you're as free as he is, so just be chilled. Plus, relationships won't be too serious at all at your age, so just enjoy whatever happens, and try to treat it as a learning curve, and a bit of fun 😊
Reply 2
Original post by Kalo7854
Sister I completely feel you here ~ I'm a couple years older, but tbh there's never really a 'good time' for a relationship, when you think about it. Y10-11 is GCSEs, Y12-13 ALevels, then in uni you want to get your best degree you can, then job focus on a career etc etc! So essentially, I shall give the advice I have been given, and I have given, many a time; flirt and enjoy it.

I empathise on the whole 'completely random unjustified jealously' thing, but that just takes practice, and hey, you're as free as he is, so just be chilled. Plus, relationships won't be too serious at all at your age, so just enjoy whatever happens, and try to treat it as a learning curve, and a bit of fun 😊


Ok thank you that's really helpful X in just worried about getting hurt and being upset that's all

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