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    My boyfriend and i are now together for 2 months. i don't want to judge but till now he never took me to a restaurant or anywhere. We only cook and spend time home (by me). He always mentions how expensive are things though his family got lots of money and he buys himself expensive things. The big shock for me was when i asked him to bring 2 condoms (we bought them together) he said no, i asked why? He said that will be expensive........ i was shocked! I just wrote him now you are saving on our sex! That is unbelievable! He said i won't discuss this!!!

    So i want some of your opinions please
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    Yeah, he sounds... charming?

    If he won’t discuss it with you, you need to think over your options. If he won’t discuss things openly with you now, then what is to say he will in the future?

    There’s always the possibility there is something behind it (only because his family has a lot of money, doesn’t really mean anything).
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    (Original post by Hey181818)
    My boyfriend and i are now together for 2 months. i don't want to judge but till now he never took me to a restaurant or anywhere. We only cook and spend time home (by me). He always mentions how expensive are things though his family got lots of money and he buys himself expensive things. The big shock for me was when i asked him to bring 2 condoms (we bought them together) he said no, i asked why? He said that will be expensive........ i was shocked! I just wrote him now you are saving on our sex! That is unbelievable! He said i won't discuss this!!!

    So i want some of your opinions please
    You can get condoms for free from the family planning clinic but anyway he sounds like he only thinks of himself so I would consider do you really want to be with someone like this.
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    Cut off the taps to him, he should change his tune quickly.
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    I know money doesn’t mean love but truth is, if a guy has money and he’s in love, he’ll spend it on her and spoil her. It’s the easiest way to make a girl happy which quite shockingly, is very pleasing for most guys.
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    Raah, I bet he'd be jumping if he saw a 2 for 1 condom offer lol. Find a man that explains the reasons behind his yes or no. This fella....ain't seem like a keeper tbh. Anyway, if he's a natural cheapskate, then that explains hella lot. Moreover, he's still a cheapskate when it concerns the two of you so....the future looks quite grim, in regards to your relationship.
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    Stop paying for things too, he'll soon alter his ways. 😉
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    (Original post by Hey181818)
    My boyfriend and i are now together for 2 months. i don't want to judge but till now he never took me to a restaurant or anywhere. We only cook and spend time home (by me). He always mentions how expensive are things though his family got lots of money and he buys himself expensive things. The big shock for me was when i asked him to bring 2 condoms (we bought them together) he said no, i asked why? He said that will be expensive........ i was shocked! I just wrote him now you are saving on our sex! That is unbelievable! He said i won't discuss this!!!

    So i want some of your opinions please
    You wont change him and its a fundamental thing you have to get on with. It is going to irritate you and it will not go away. Even worse if he has plenty of money.

    Honestly see how long you cna go and think whether youd be better off with someone else.
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    Have a chat with him about it and if you break up, you break up you have only been together 8 weeks, this might seem like a single negative compared to all the positives of your boyfriend but trust me in the long run and as you go out longer it will just exasperate you more or make you lose self confidence, feeling like you aren’t good enough for your own boyfriend to spend money on
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    As sienna has said it then I will be less neutral and say dump him.
    Its not about spending money on you, but the 2 condoms is a good example of just ridiculous level of meanness.
    The not willing to discuss also makes him sound like an arse. You will realise hes not a keeper.
    A poor person who shares what they have will be a lot better for you.
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    You should check and observe his family and his lifestyle. From there you will understand why he is behaving that way. I also too have a stingy boyfriend of 2 years. It took me years to discover the reason why he is stingy. It frustrates me a lot because it’s not what I expected. But at least I now know why. It is up to you to decide if you think that kind of man is worth your time.
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    I have a boyfriend for 2 years who is stingy. I recently discovered how stingy their family is because of their lifestyle. They don’t eat out as a family, they do not do it often. My boyfriend does not give me branded gifts or anything that of value. His mother gave my family 2 small boxes of pudding which is not presentable. It is frustrating. I’m not a material girl, but I want to enjoy life as I caN. My boyfriend’s family is so tight he can’t give much special treatment. He is still studying, his sibling is also studying, they need to save money. Their source of income is not that huge as what I expected to be the way he presented himself at the first stage of courtship. Perhaps, you should check and observe more of your boyfriend’s family and lifestyle, and you will get the answer. It took me years to find out as to why my boyfriend is stingy.
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    Not taking you out to dinner and paying for you is 100% reasonable and he isn't obligated to do it but the fact you always have to cook for the two of you and the fact he refused to bring a condom?!?!?! is crazy stingy and I wouldn't put up with it. The fact he won't even discuss it is also a bad sign. If you can't get him to compromise or at least discuss it then I would walk away, it's only been 2 months.
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    He is refusing to bring 2 condoms he didn't even pay for himself? Feed him beans on toast and if he expects anything later tell him not to worry you sorted yourself out, he can go play on his own with his condoms.

    Oh and sweetheart, you seriously need to realise you are worth way more than someone who is going to treat you like this x
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    Complain to him and as VidiaA said, feed him beans on toast. Not even fresh beans or toast: get canned beans, and get stale bread.
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    Stop buying him stuff. Buy nice food for yourself and give him the most basic stuff, pay for your own cinema ticket etc and if you have to go on your own/with someone else, so be it. He's got to learn that he can't expect hand out's from you every day of his life. Either that, or get rid.
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    I wouldn't take the approach that others have taken here and suggest you cut him off and treat him like a child, you'll certainly lose him.

    I would suggest you discuss ways he can give a monetary contribution, explain you struggle to feed both of you on your wage and would like to go out and do stuff more. If he doesn't listen there's nothing you can do except dump him.

    There's no reason he should not pay for many things himself.
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    I would try to talk to him first, he may not realise his behaviour is strange or he might have some reason (money or personal problems). After that, you can both try to find a way forward. Whilst I wouldn't expect a boyfriend to pay for anything, for you to pay for everything is ridiculous.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    You wont change him and its a fundamental thing you have to get on with. It is going to irritate you and it will not go away. Even worse if he has plenty of money.

    Honestly see how long you cna go and think whether youd be better off with someone else.
    I am afraid you are right. I am going to have patience till Valentine's day and my birthday on March, if he will act the same i will end it for sure.
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    (Original post by sienna0305)
    Have a chat with him about it and if you break up, you break up you have only been together 8 weeks, this might seem like a single negative compared to all the positives of your boyfriend but trust me in the long run and as you go out longer it will just exasperate you more or make you lose self confidence, feeling like you aren’t good enough for your own boyfriend to spend money on
    You are right. Your comment made me think about this the whole night. Unfortunately i had a communication problem with my ex he never wanted to discuss any problem. And now this new one told me the same thing.. i have a huge wall inside of me that makes me scared to try to open a discussion. I even don't know how can i start it. Ofcourse talking is a great solution for many problems.
    i haven't reply to him and I'm gonna wait and see what happens
 
 
 
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