Friendless at University 2nd semester
I will sum up my story. Basically I’m living in a studio with no common room which firstly makes meeting people difficult, whilst I did meet someone (let’s call him A) at fresher’s from my halls (someone who from Facebook, I think we have a lot in common in) we drifted apart since he’s found a different group of friends he meet when clubbing (I didn’t want to go clubbing since I’m a Muslim) therefore since fresher’s we haven’t spoken lol. Moreover I have met some other guys (let’s call this group B) at this Muslim society during fresher’s but I quickly realised that we had little in common and after finding out they had went for a group dinner without me (that really annoyed me), I just left them.
You might ask, have I tried making friends on this course, well it hasn’t worked out either. I met this other lad (let’s call him C) who was taking the same course as me, so I decided (regretfully) to head out with him and hang out during lectures but he soon started to irritate me by his general incompetence and some of the embarrassing things he used to do whilst with him so I ended up ignoring him. By this time it was early November and with my course being at a different campus I’m not really in a position to meet any more people to befriend since no one in my halls studies my course so I can’t hang out with them to lectures etc.
Looking at myself some of the reasons why I haven’t made any friends are:
•
1) Frustratingly my background. Basically I am a middle class (privately educated) person who has lived and schooled as the only black person in my class/area. So I have found when meeting fellow black student or fellow Muslim students during fresher’s that I stick out as a bit of an outsider L, in how I dress, my interests or generally the way I am. They are all into basketball or hip-hop etc so I can’t really get involved in many conversations with them. Moreover every time I do talk about things we can mutually talk about they get quite bored easily and the conversation dies very quickly, even though I’m doing the best to keep it going they all seem quick to leave without making much effort.
•
2) Moreover, I am quite introverted and someone who likes their own space now and again. I am not very loud neither one of much confidence so I find it difficult to strike up a conversation with big groups or either more Infuriatingly admit to my few acquaintances that I have no friends so that they can help me out because I’m pretty embarrassed to admit this fact I’m a loner. Coming from an all-boys school I really lack social skills around girls in particular, I always get shy and nervous around them so in fact I’ve found it difficult to talk to them let alone befriend them. Another thing is I honestly don’t find things people talk about funny. Whilst everyone chuckles in a conversation I’m there just trying to simile forcefully. Additionally I give off serious vibes (always looking sad) all the time, so when talking with people it doesn’t feel very natural nor fun for both, even though I’m attentive when talking.
Any ideas on how I can find some friends or on how I can change to find some people to hang out with. Btw I have involved myself with a few societies but bar the Muslim one the rest mainly focus their social events around drinking and clubbing something which I’m reluctant to take part it. Moreover I have had a look at the sports groups but whilst I love my football and tennis, I am useless at playing so I don’t really want to pay for a sports membership.
I will sum up my story. Basically I’m living in a studio with no common room which firstly makes meeting people difficult, whilst I did meet someone (let’s call him A) at fresher’s from my halls (someone who from Facebook, I think we have a lot in common in) we drifted apart since he’s found a different group of friends he meet when clubbing (I didn’t want to go clubbing since I’m a Muslim) therefore since fresher’s we haven’t spoken lol. Moreover I have met some other guys (let’s call this group B) at this Muslim society during fresher’s but I quickly realised that we had little in common and after finding out they had went for a group dinner without me (that really annoyed me), I just left them.
You might ask, have I tried making friends on this course, well it hasn’t worked out either. I met this other lad (let’s call him C) who was taking the same course as me, so I decided (regretfully) to head out with him and hang out during lectures but he soon started to irritate me by his general incompetence and some of the embarrassing things he used to do whilst with him so I ended up ignoring him. By this time it was early November and with my course being at a different campus I’m not really in a position to meet any more people to befriend since no one in my halls studies my course so I can’t hang out with them to lectures etc.
Looking at myself some of the reasons why I haven’t made any friends are:
•
1) Frustratingly my background. Basically I am a middle class (privately educated) person who has lived and schooled as the only black person in my class/area. So I have found when meeting fellow black student or fellow Muslim students during fresher’s that I stick out as a bit of an outsider L, in how I dress, my interests or generally the way I am. They are all into basketball or hip-hop etc so I can’t really get involved in many conversations with them. Moreover every time I do talk about things we can mutually talk about they get quite bored easily and the conversation dies very quickly, even though I’m doing the best to keep it going they all seem quick to leave without making much effort.
•
2) Moreover, I am quite introverted and someone who likes their own space now and again. I am not very loud neither one of much confidence so I find it difficult to strike up a conversation with big groups or either more Infuriatingly admit to my few acquaintances that I have no friends so that they can help me out because I’m pretty embarrassed to admit this fact I’m a loner. Coming from an all-boys school I really lack social skills around girls in particular, I always get shy and nervous around them so in fact I’ve found it difficult to talk to them let alone befriend them. Another thing is I honestly don’t find things people talk about funny. Whilst everyone chuckles in a conversation I’m there just trying to simile forcefully. Additionally I give off serious vibes (always looking sad) all the time, so when talking with people it doesn’t feel very natural nor fun for both, even though I’m attentive when talking.
Any ideas on how I can find some friends or on how I can change to find some people to hang out with. Btw I have involved myself with a few societies but bar the Muslim one the rest mainly focus their social events around drinking and clubbing something which I’m reluctant to take part it. Moreover I have had a look at the sports groups but whilst I love my football and tennis, I am useless at playing so I don’t really want to pay for a sports membership.
There is app like bumble bff and tinder social that are designed for you to meet friends in your local area
I have tried Tinder but that feature has since been stopped. Any other advice on how to find some friends or how I can change in order to stop being lonely.
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