My boyfriends OCD is hurting me.

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has OCD and it is really taking a toll on* my own health. I have several medical problems myself but due to my boyfriends Ocd they're all getting worse. The main one is the germ phobia which means I have to wash my hands after doing anything "dirty". This is physically hurting my skin as I have eczema. I have to wash all my clothes in dettol and such that also hurts me.

I don't know what to do as I do love him as he accepts me for who I am and my past.*

Any help appreciated

dump him

Get a man who doesn't mind getting dirty :perv:

Reply 3

Tiger Rag

22

Is he aware of how you feel? And is he getting any help for his OCD?

Reply 4

RuthieG101

20

my boyfriend has OCD.
my dad has OCD.

my dad is worse than my partner. and both manifest different. my dad is also medicated for it which stops the manic episodes that you seem to be hinting at. my partner goes through time of minor manic and coping. We have 2 kids so tidy isn't in our vocab at the moment.

I'd suggest your boyfriend gets some support from professionals. if you're having to bleach stuff then it's going too far and he needs help to combat these thoughts.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Tiger Rag

Is he aware of how you feel? And is he getting any help for his OCD?

He is and he says he can't do anything about it

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by RuthieG101

my boyfriend has OCD.
my dad has OCD.

my dad is worse than my partner. and both manifest different. my dad is also medicated for it which stops the manic episodes that you seem to be hinting at. my partner goes through time of minor manic and coping. We have 2 kids so tidy isn't in our vocab at the moment.

I'd suggest your boyfriend gets some support from professionals. if you're having to bleach stuff then it's going too far and he needs help to combat these thoughts.

He is getting support for it but it still hurts me. He apologises for it but it doesn't really make me feel any better

Reply 7

RuthieG101

20

You do need to start looking after your health. You cannot support him if you don't look after yourself first.
Do you have a carers support service near you? They can help support you. You don't need to be on carers allowance go access help.
You can also approach your doctor for a carers assessment to get you some support too.

if he's not improving then he needs to get re-evaluated . there could be other issues he needs to deal with as it can get progressively worse.

Reply 8

hussnainz

9

Original post by RuthieG101

You do need to start looking after your health. You cannot support him if you don't look after yourself first.
Do you have a carers support service near you? They can help support you. You don't need to be on carers allowance go access help.
You can also approach your doctor for a carers assessment to get you some support too.

if he's not improving then he needs to get re-evaluated . there could be other issues he needs to deal with as it can get progressively worse.

I don't want to hurt him tho as I know he's a nice person

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 9

username3697430

16

Original post by Anonymous

I'm in a relationship with a guy who has OCD and it is really taking a toll on* my own health. I have several medical problems myself but due to my boyfriends Ocd they're all getting worse. The main one is the germ phobia which means I have to wash my hands after doing anything "dirty". This is physically hurting my skin as I have eczema. I have to wash all my clothes in dettol and such that also hurts me.

I don't know what to do as I do love him as he accepts me for who I am and my past.*

Any help appreciated

Don't listen to others who say, without question, dump him immediately - that's ridiculous especially when you have not had a proper discussion where you tell him what you are telling us on this forum if you communicate and express yourself to him then even if he has OCD he should reason. If not THEN consider possibly separating.

(edited 6 years ago)

Reply 10

RuthieG101

20

you won't hurt him as OCD is a physical manifestation of a mental condition.

my dad once explained OCD as a rewire gone wrong. he has the same connections but they go the wrong way. Your boyfriend needs to re-learn that some things are ok.
my dad is a member of a forum called OCD action. he regularly posts about his experiences in over coming issues relating to OCD.your boyfriend may benefit talking to other sufferers.

Reply 11

RuthieG101

20

Original post by Anonymous

He is and he says he can't do anything about it

the problem with OCD is it's as selfish as hell.
he can't doing anything about it but he won't either.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Lord Nutter

Don't listen to others who say, without question, dump him immediately - that's ridiculous especially when you have not had a proper discussion where you tell him what you are telling us on this forum if you communicate and express yourself to him then even if he has OCD he should reason. If not THEN consider possibly separating.

I have tried reasoning with him but he says that he can't do much about it

Reply 13

RuthieG101

20

relationships are give and take. even when one member has a mental problem.

You give, he takes. he should give too. You need to think about what you get out of this relationship. love isn't enough.

Reply 14

Tiger Rag

22

Have you tried talking to someone about how you feel?

Reply 15

doodle_333

19

You can recover from OCD it's just hard and unpleasant. But you can't compromise your own health and if your boyfriend is prepared to do so then he us very sick and TBH needs a wake up call. You need to start drawing some lines that you won' do things which make you sick or in pain. This just isn' realistic to continue long term so you need to force him to try and find a way to live with your normal behaviour or then you can consider ending it. If you live together perhaps that might mean separating briefly or if not then spending time in different ways.